[drabble] tempest, 1/1
tempest
heechul/leeteuk | romance/angst | r
this isn’t love. this is just a cheap way of trying to get it back.
To say that the sting could be ignorable would be a lie. “Youngwoon was never this rough,” he says through gritted teeth, trying his best to relax around the foreign object slowly pushing into him.
“And Hangeng always just took it,” Heechul grunts in response, pausing to catch his breath when he’s all the way in. “Geez, it’s been a while for you, hasn’t it?”
Leeteuk wouldn’t have glared if a penis hadn’t just been inconsiderately shoved up his ass. “It’s been a while since Youngwoon left, hasn’t it?” He can’t see Heechul’s eyes because his hair is in the way, but from the way his lips are parted, Leeteuk knows that he’s sad. That he’s remembering. He knows, because he feels exactly the same way. “Move,” he whispers hoarsely, just to break the suffocating silence.
And Heechul does. He’s different from Youngwoon, Leeteuk muses as he closes his eyes and presses his head back into the pillow. And of course he is-why wouldn’t he be? Heechul and Youngwoon are two completely different people. When he got into this, he expected nothing more than a cheap replacement-a shadow of who he really loves. And he’s getting just that.
Heechul’s thin frame is different from Youngwoon’s protective one. His shallow pants are different from his throaty grunts and suppressed moans. And the way he makes love-has sex, Leeteuk corrects himself, because this is not love they’re making-is different in every way possible.
Both of them know just how wrong, how immoral this is, but everyone breaks at some point.
When it’s over, Leeteuk isn’t surprised that he still feels empty. Heechul falls onto the bed beside him, exhaling slowly. They stare at each other and share the mutual feeling, and Leeteuk almost feels tempted to cry.
“Stop complaining,” Heechul mutters upon seeing his expression. “At least he’ll be back.”
Which is true. They can’t even mention Hangeng in public without receiving wary looks from their manager. Leeteuk reaches out and brushes the hair out of Heechul’s eyes, trying to be as gentle, as loving as possible. They’re half-lidded, sad eyes, unseeing as Leeteuk feels his mothering instincts kick in and pulls the younger man into his arms.
“I don’t need babying,” he mutters. “We’re practically the same age.”
“You can baby me back later,” Leeteuk hushes, tucking Heechul’s head under his chin and pressing his cheek against his hair. “I’ll be needing it.”
Usually, he’s the one being held, so he doesn’t know how to do this-but for a moment, feeling Heechul’s warmth, hearing him breathe-it brings him comfort. Just having someone there, even if it’s not Youngwoon-it helps, even if it’s just a little.
So he doesn’t let go. Heechul tilts his head and looks up, leaning in for a kiss. Out of reflex and knowing it’s not the man he truly wants to be with, he pulls away-and both of them freeze. It’s as if what they’re doing finally hits them, and they don’t know how to redeem themselves, how to make it up to their actual lovers.
This isn’t love. And this is a cheap way of trying to get it back.
Leeteuk finds himself staring at Heechul-his good friend, but someone he still can’t quite decipher-and he notices a kind of beauty that he’s never seen in Youngwoon. He sees vulnerability, he sees irrational passion, and he sees a desire to be loved.
He knows he isn’t the one who can provide the love that Heechul needs, but he finds himself leaning in anyway to meet him halfway.
Life brings all kinds of tragedies, he thinks, but this-this might be the worst.
heechul/leeteuk | romance/angst | r
this isn’t love. this is just a cheap way of trying to get it back.
To say that the sting could be ignorable would be a lie. “Youngwoon was never this rough,” he says through gritted teeth, trying his best to relax around the foreign object slowly pushing into him.
“And Hangeng always just took it,” Heechul grunts in response, pausing to catch his breath when he’s all the way in. “Geez, it’s been a while for you, hasn’t it?”
Leeteuk wouldn’t have glared if a penis hadn’t just been inconsiderately shoved up his ass. “It’s been a while since Youngwoon left, hasn’t it?” He can’t see Heechul’s eyes because his hair is in the way, but from the way his lips are parted, Leeteuk knows that he’s sad. That he’s remembering. He knows, because he feels exactly the same way. “Move,” he whispers hoarsely, just to break the suffocating silence.
And Heechul does. He’s different from Youngwoon, Leeteuk muses as he closes his eyes and presses his head back into the pillow. And of course he is-why wouldn’t he be? Heechul and Youngwoon are two completely different people. When he got into this, he expected nothing more than a cheap replacement-a shadow of who he really loves. And he’s getting just that.
Heechul’s thin frame is different from Youngwoon’s protective one. His shallow pants are different from his throaty grunts and suppressed moans. And the way he makes love-has sex, Leeteuk corrects himself, because this is not love they’re making-is different in every way possible.
Both of them know just how wrong, how immoral this is, but everyone breaks at some point.
When it’s over, Leeteuk isn’t surprised that he still feels empty. Heechul falls onto the bed beside him, exhaling slowly. They stare at each other and share the mutual feeling, and Leeteuk almost feels tempted to cry.
“Stop complaining,” Heechul mutters upon seeing his expression. “At least he’ll be back.”
Which is true. They can’t even mention Hangeng in public without receiving wary looks from their manager. Leeteuk reaches out and brushes the hair out of Heechul’s eyes, trying to be as gentle, as loving as possible. They’re half-lidded, sad eyes, unseeing as Leeteuk feels his mothering instincts kick in and pulls the younger man into his arms.
“I don’t need babying,” he mutters. “We’re practically the same age.”
“You can baby me back later,” Leeteuk hushes, tucking Heechul’s head under his chin and pressing his cheek against his hair. “I’ll be needing it.”
Usually, he’s the one being held, so he doesn’t know how to do this-but for a moment, feeling Heechul’s warmth, hearing him breathe-it brings him comfort. Just having someone there, even if it’s not Youngwoon-it helps, even if it’s just a little.
So he doesn’t let go. Heechul tilts his head and looks up, leaning in for a kiss. Out of reflex and knowing it’s not the man he truly wants to be with, he pulls away-and both of them freeze. It’s as if what they’re doing finally hits them, and they don’t know how to redeem themselves, how to make it up to their actual lovers.
This isn’t love. And this is a cheap way of trying to get it back.
Leeteuk finds himself staring at Heechul-his good friend, but someone he still can’t quite decipher-and he notices a kind of beauty that he’s never seen in Youngwoon. He sees vulnerability, he sees irrational passion, and he sees a desire to be loved.
He knows he isn’t the one who can provide the love that Heechul needs, but he finds himself leaning in anyway to meet him halfway.
Life brings all kinds of tragedies, he thinks, but this-this might be the worst.