[ficlet] bonding time, 1/1
Title: Bonding Time
Pairing: 13 + 2 :D
Genre: Crack
Summary: It was a joke. Seriously, it was a joke. When Leeteuk said that Heechul should buy some porn for them to watch together, he didn’t mean that Heechul should actually buy some porn for them to watch together.
Notes: Because jasminezilla gave me the time of my life by posting this. Repaying her with pervy sincerity. 8D
“Ah…” Henry nodded slowly, and then proceeded to say in broken Korean, “So this is what Koreans do.”
Hangeng waved his arms frantically. “No, that’s not it at all! They’re not usually like this!” Henry eyed him carefully, his expression clearly saying, You’re part of this too, aren’t you? Hangeng swallowed and turned to Heechul, who was inspecting the DVD in his hands, and whispered something discreetly in his ear. Henry was beginning to question everyone’s sanity.
“I thought this would be a good way for all of us to bond,” the Heechul says lightly. “That, and Jungsu told me to do it.”
Leeteuk, who was standing frozen where he was, seemed to pale even further. “It was a joke! I didn’t actually expect you to get it!” He swiped the DVD from Heechul’s hands, half wanting to hide it, half curious as to see what it was all about.
Henry just went and stood silently beside Zhou Mi, deciding that the safest course of action was to stay quiet.
It was a little while later that the others returned from their schedules-Henry quite happily greeted Ryeowook, who he hadn’t seen in quite a while. All fifteen of them were here, and the dorm was crowded and noisy, and he wondered just how well he actually fit in.
“It’s lively,” Zhou Mi commented. “I’m glad that they invited us here tonight.”
I’m not so sure about that… “Yeah, it’s not often that we get to spend time with the others outside of our work activities.”
“Well, we have it, so we might as well watch it,” Heechul declared loudly, ripping open the packaging and popping it into the DVD player. Everyone seemed to simultaneously die a little inside as they all realized that there was no way they could return it now, now that it had been opened. “C’mon, everyone, sit down!”
Henry watched as Hangeng cautiously took a seat on the couch, before Heechul happily sat down beside him. Leeteuk and Kangin filled up the rest of the couch, and Eunhyuk and Donghae made themselves comfortable at their feet on the floor. The rest sat at the kitchen table, against the wall, or at the farthest possible point from the television. Henry had to do a double take on Siwon, because he swore, that man was praying.
He looked down when he felt someone tugging at his jeans, and he saw Ryeowook staring up at him with large eyes. “Sit,” he said in Mandarin.
Henry laughed nervously and glanced at Zhou Mi. “I think I’m just going to go take a walk outside?” Because Canadians watched their porn alone, not in a room with fourteen other hormonally crazy men. And none of them were really westernized anyway, so how much had they really been exposed to? It’d be weird if by the end of it, everyone was all flustered.
Ryeowook tugged at his jeans again. “I’m older, so you have to listen to what I say.”
He rolled his eyes. Don’t say that with a pout, it contradicts yourself. He sat anyway though, which led Zhou Mi to reluctantly follow his actions.
Heechul seemed infinitely curious and excited as he directed himself from the main menu and pressed the play option. Henry mentally braced himself-not because he didn’t know what to expect, but because he didn’t know what to expect from the others. And how many of them would be fighting for the bathroom once it was over.
For the first half hour or so, everyone stayed put. Like most porn, this had some semblance of a plot, if not bad acting-and Eunhyuk and Donghae even enjoyed making some jokes and laughing at the characters. Things, however, inevitably got…steamier.
Henry fully believed that he was so immune to porn that his body wouldn’t be acting against his will as long as he didn’t really focus. However, someone was bound to break-and the first was Ryeowook.
He stared as the man-boy, really, with the way he was acting-fidgeted, clearly uncomfortable. His eyes flitted from the television to his feet, but always returning back to the screen, as if he were constantly being drawn back. The couple in the movie was currently kissing furiously in a bedroom-not even an exciting place-hands grasping at each other in any place possible.
When Ryeowook caught Henry looking at him, he squeaked and his cheeks flushed a deep red, staring sheepishly down at his lap.
“Why don’t we go for a walk?” the older boy suggested, clearly embarrassed.
Henry couldn’t resist the mischievous grin tugging at his lips. “You should watch,” he said. “It doesn’t seem like you know a lot in this area.” Ryeowook made a move to stand up, though, and he quickly grabbed his wrist. “Sit.” Ryeowook’s expression was just begging him to let him go, but Henry wasn’t feeling particularly sympathetic for him at the moment. “Just sit.”
His eyes scanned the rest of the room. Most of the others were engrossed, as if this was the first time they’d seen porn-seriously, they were all over twenty, how could they be this inexperienced-save for Siwon, who was reading a book at the kitchen table, eyebrows furrowed in great concentration.
(That book could save his retinas from being scarred, but certainly not his ears.)
The man on screen tweaked the woman’s nipples, and she gasped sharply. Ryeowook jumped a little in his seat. Eunhyuk shifted uncomfortably, meticulously leaning forward, allowing his upper body to hide his lower half.
Henry wouldn’t even consider this to be raunchy. This was Asian porn-and Asian porn was never raunchy. But everyone seemed engrossed, so…
From beside him, Zhou Mi leaned over to whisper in his ear. “I can’t really see from where I am, but…is it anything worth watching?”
“Not even,” he replied dully. “The most boring porn ever.”
Zhou Mi nodded in understanding. “Yeah, that’s what I thought. American porn is…”
“Much more interesting.”
“…Yeah.”
“Are those even real?” Kibum suddenly asked, sounding genuinely fascinated. “I have never seen any that big before.”
Heechul’s eyes were wide. “I didn’t even know that surgery could make them that big.”
“Plastic surgery can do anything,” Kyuhyun said, clearly embarrassed by his hyungs’ lack of knowledge. “If you haven’t noticed, this is Korea.” Sungmin, who was sitting beside him, smacked his arm. “What?”
“Either way, boobs aren’t supposed to be that big!”
“Shut up, guys, let me watch the porn!” All eyes landed on Kangin, who seemed engrossed. His arm was wrapped tightly around Leeteuk, but Henry couldn’t pinpoint whether the older man looked uncomfortable or aroused.
And this was why Canadians watched their porn alone.
Ryeowook grabbed onto Henry’s arm, suddenly shaking it frantically. “She’s taking off his pants!”
“That’s generally how porn works, Hyung.”
-
Forty-five minutes, lots of screaming, coughing, and awkward silences later, the ending credits began rolling. Henry and Zhou Mi simultaneously let out a sigh of relief-it felt like they had bonded through this, even though they hardly looked at each other, let alone talked.
Ryeowook had been clutching Henry’s fingers for so long that he was sure that they were going to fall off due to the lack of oxygen. “Are you okay?” he asked cautiously, hoping he wouldn’t have to give him a “growing up” lecture-because it was at points like these when Henry seriously wondered if Ryeowook was really older than him.
Clearing his throat, Ryeowook’s grip loosened a little, but he didn’t pull his hand away. “I kind of have this weird feeling,” he said, almost as if answering a question during an interview.
He nodded slowly. “…Okay…”
“It’s kind of like I have to do something-”
“Okay, that’s great,” Henry interrupted, clearing his throat and pulling his hand away. “Why don’t you go tell Yesung-hyung about it?”
Eunhyuk and Donghae were currently fighting over one of the bathrooms, while Leeteuk quietly shuffled to the other one. Henry watched in bewilderment as Kangin followed silently, waiting patiently outside the door with his hands carefully placed over his crotch. The people who remained in the living room and kitchen area were certainly a sight to see-Siwon had closed his book and moved to sit beside a dazed Heechul on the couch, beginning to tell him about Christ and being cleansed. Hangeng was staring out the window like his life depended on it, Kibum had fallen asleep, and-wait, where did Sungmin and Kyuhyun go?
From beside him, Zhou Mi coughed. “Personally,” he said, “I think Asian porn isn’t developed enough. There is hardly enough excitement for the viewers.”
“Uh.” For a moment, Henry was caught off guard. “Yeah. But sometimes, I wish American porn stars would at least act a little better…it’s hard to find any real-looking porn these days.”
And for the next few minutes, they actually had an intelligent conversation about porn, how they filmed it, and fluffers. Henry was kind of enjoying himself (because his Canadian friends would never talk about porn this way) while the others were looking at them oddly, until Zhou Mi asked, “So, what kind of porn do you like?”
He blinked. “That’s going a bit too far, man.”
“…Sorry.”
see, ryeowook? taking pants off is a normal part of porn, even you can do it!
Pairing: 13 + 2 :D
Genre: Crack
Summary: It was a joke. Seriously, it was a joke. When Leeteuk said that Heechul should buy some porn for them to watch together, he didn’t mean that Heechul should actually buy some porn for them to watch together.
Notes: Because jasminezilla gave me the time of my life by posting this. Repaying her with pervy sincerity. 8D
“Ah…” Henry nodded slowly, and then proceeded to say in broken Korean, “So this is what Koreans do.”
Hangeng waved his arms frantically. “No, that’s not it at all! They’re not usually like this!” Henry eyed him carefully, his expression clearly saying, You’re part of this too, aren’t you? Hangeng swallowed and turned to Heechul, who was inspecting the DVD in his hands, and whispered something discreetly in his ear. Henry was beginning to question everyone’s sanity.
“I thought this would be a good way for all of us to bond,” the Heechul says lightly. “That, and Jungsu told me to do it.”
Leeteuk, who was standing frozen where he was, seemed to pale even further. “It was a joke! I didn’t actually expect you to get it!” He swiped the DVD from Heechul’s hands, half wanting to hide it, half curious as to see what it was all about.
Henry just went and stood silently beside Zhou Mi, deciding that the safest course of action was to stay quiet.
It was a little while later that the others returned from their schedules-Henry quite happily greeted Ryeowook, who he hadn’t seen in quite a while. All fifteen of them were here, and the dorm was crowded and noisy, and he wondered just how well he actually fit in.
“It’s lively,” Zhou Mi commented. “I’m glad that they invited us here tonight.”
I’m not so sure about that… “Yeah, it’s not often that we get to spend time with the others outside of our work activities.”
“Well, we have it, so we might as well watch it,” Heechul declared loudly, ripping open the packaging and popping it into the DVD player. Everyone seemed to simultaneously die a little inside as they all realized that there was no way they could return it now, now that it had been opened. “C’mon, everyone, sit down!”
Henry watched as Hangeng cautiously took a seat on the couch, before Heechul happily sat down beside him. Leeteuk and Kangin filled up the rest of the couch, and Eunhyuk and Donghae made themselves comfortable at their feet on the floor. The rest sat at the kitchen table, against the wall, or at the farthest possible point from the television. Henry had to do a double take on Siwon, because he swore, that man was praying.
He looked down when he felt someone tugging at his jeans, and he saw Ryeowook staring up at him with large eyes. “Sit,” he said in Mandarin.
Henry laughed nervously and glanced at Zhou Mi. “I think I’m just going to go take a walk outside?” Because Canadians watched their porn alone, not in a room with fourteen other hormonally crazy men. And none of them were really westernized anyway, so how much had they really been exposed to? It’d be weird if by the end of it, everyone was all flustered.
Ryeowook tugged at his jeans again. “I’m older, so you have to listen to what I say.”
He rolled his eyes. Don’t say that with a pout, it contradicts yourself. He sat anyway though, which led Zhou Mi to reluctantly follow his actions.
Heechul seemed infinitely curious and excited as he directed himself from the main menu and pressed the play option. Henry mentally braced himself-not because he didn’t know what to expect, but because he didn’t know what to expect from the others. And how many of them would be fighting for the bathroom once it was over.
For the first half hour or so, everyone stayed put. Like most porn, this had some semblance of a plot, if not bad acting-and Eunhyuk and Donghae even enjoyed making some jokes and laughing at the characters. Things, however, inevitably got…steamier.
Henry fully believed that he was so immune to porn that his body wouldn’t be acting against his will as long as he didn’t really focus. However, someone was bound to break-and the first was Ryeowook.
He stared as the man-boy, really, with the way he was acting-fidgeted, clearly uncomfortable. His eyes flitted from the television to his feet, but always returning back to the screen, as if he were constantly being drawn back. The couple in the movie was currently kissing furiously in a bedroom-not even an exciting place-hands grasping at each other in any place possible.
When Ryeowook caught Henry looking at him, he squeaked and his cheeks flushed a deep red, staring sheepishly down at his lap.
“Why don’t we go for a walk?” the older boy suggested, clearly embarrassed.
Henry couldn’t resist the mischievous grin tugging at his lips. “You should watch,” he said. “It doesn’t seem like you know a lot in this area.” Ryeowook made a move to stand up, though, and he quickly grabbed his wrist. “Sit.” Ryeowook’s expression was just begging him to let him go, but Henry wasn’t feeling particularly sympathetic for him at the moment. “Just sit.”
His eyes scanned the rest of the room. Most of the others were engrossed, as if this was the first time they’d seen porn-seriously, they were all over twenty, how could they be this inexperienced-save for Siwon, who was reading a book at the kitchen table, eyebrows furrowed in great concentration.
(That book could save his retinas from being scarred, but certainly not his ears.)
The man on screen tweaked the woman’s nipples, and she gasped sharply. Ryeowook jumped a little in his seat. Eunhyuk shifted uncomfortably, meticulously leaning forward, allowing his upper body to hide his lower half.
Henry wouldn’t even consider this to be raunchy. This was Asian porn-and Asian porn was never raunchy. But everyone seemed engrossed, so…
From beside him, Zhou Mi leaned over to whisper in his ear. “I can’t really see from where I am, but…is it anything worth watching?”
“Not even,” he replied dully. “The most boring porn ever.”
Zhou Mi nodded in understanding. “Yeah, that’s what I thought. American porn is…”
“Much more interesting.”
“…Yeah.”
“Are those even real?” Kibum suddenly asked, sounding genuinely fascinated. “I have never seen any that big before.”
Heechul’s eyes were wide. “I didn’t even know that surgery could make them that big.”
“Plastic surgery can do anything,” Kyuhyun said, clearly embarrassed by his hyungs’ lack of knowledge. “If you haven’t noticed, this is Korea.” Sungmin, who was sitting beside him, smacked his arm. “What?”
“Either way, boobs aren’t supposed to be that big!”
“Shut up, guys, let me watch the porn!” All eyes landed on Kangin, who seemed engrossed. His arm was wrapped tightly around Leeteuk, but Henry couldn’t pinpoint whether the older man looked uncomfortable or aroused.
And this was why Canadians watched their porn alone.
Ryeowook grabbed onto Henry’s arm, suddenly shaking it frantically. “She’s taking off his pants!”
“That’s generally how porn works, Hyung.”
-
Forty-five minutes, lots of screaming, coughing, and awkward silences later, the ending credits began rolling. Henry and Zhou Mi simultaneously let out a sigh of relief-it felt like they had bonded through this, even though they hardly looked at each other, let alone talked.
Ryeowook had been clutching Henry’s fingers for so long that he was sure that they were going to fall off due to the lack of oxygen. “Are you okay?” he asked cautiously, hoping he wouldn’t have to give him a “growing up” lecture-because it was at points like these when Henry seriously wondered if Ryeowook was really older than him.
Clearing his throat, Ryeowook’s grip loosened a little, but he didn’t pull his hand away. “I kind of have this weird feeling,” he said, almost as if answering a question during an interview.
He nodded slowly. “…Okay…”
“It’s kind of like I have to do something-”
“Okay, that’s great,” Henry interrupted, clearing his throat and pulling his hand away. “Why don’t you go tell Yesung-hyung about it?”
Eunhyuk and Donghae were currently fighting over one of the bathrooms, while Leeteuk quietly shuffled to the other one. Henry watched in bewilderment as Kangin followed silently, waiting patiently outside the door with his hands carefully placed over his crotch. The people who remained in the living room and kitchen area were certainly a sight to see-Siwon had closed his book and moved to sit beside a dazed Heechul on the couch, beginning to tell him about Christ and being cleansed. Hangeng was staring out the window like his life depended on it, Kibum had fallen asleep, and-wait, where did Sungmin and Kyuhyun go?
From beside him, Zhou Mi coughed. “Personally,” he said, “I think Asian porn isn’t developed enough. There is hardly enough excitement for the viewers.”
“Uh.” For a moment, Henry was caught off guard. “Yeah. But sometimes, I wish American porn stars would at least act a little better…it’s hard to find any real-looking porn these days.”
And for the next few minutes, they actually had an intelligent conversation about porn, how they filmed it, and fluffers. Henry was kind of enjoying himself (because his Canadian friends would never talk about porn this way) while the others were looking at them oddly, until Zhou Mi asked, “So, what kind of porn do you like?”
He blinked. “That’s going a bit too far, man.”
“…Sorry.”
see, ryeowook? taking pants off is a normal part of porn, even you can do it!