Birthday, Day.
I had one of those birthdays that has populated my recent past far more frequently then it use to. Birthdays where I am convinced the day will go horribly wrong but somehow turns around. Today started out with a few less hours of sleep then I intended accompanied with a panic attack. I had no plan for today, I didnt know who I was hanging out with. I didn't exactly have a resturant lined up... well I did... I just wasnt sure I wanted to go there. Really the focus of all my anxiety was the uncertainty that comes with planning anything. My only fixed point was a massage that ended up saving my day. I had the appointment at Noon, and with everything else weighing on me I finally just let it go. And doing so saved my day.
She massaged my body in a way that released all the tension in my back, neck and shoulders. It was crazy after an hour I could move my arms more then I could before. My shoulders felt flat and straight, instead curved inward like usual. I held my whole upper body differently and I felt weightless. I think that and watching Summer Wars the night before really calmed me down and put me back in reality. (I love that movie as its set on my birthday just IS summer.)
As I walked out I realized the last Birthday, day that I spent alone (but still had dinner with friends) was in Thailand when on a tropical island- and I loved that birthday. Relaxed sitting in a PRET with a new perspective of my day I just decided to let things go. I started walking and found April Bloomfields resturant- Salvation Taco and relaxed with great views on their rooftop bar. Afterwards I went to a Japanese Matcha house and then to the Natural History museum for a Planetarium show. Happy on multiple layers I wandered the UWS, bought my first Kurt Vonogut book and met up with Cat and Mark at Irving Farms for coffee and reading time before dinner.
Dinner- the place I was unsure of- was at the Boat Basin Cafe on 79th and the river, where Cat, Mark, Jill, Damian, Lauren, and Kelly and I chatted, and watched the sunset while we ate. It was just a great day that left me feeling like me again. It was a day that felt like Summer again, especially after getting ice cream and spending an hour on Damians roof chatting, watching lightning stretch across the sky. Summer, and me came back. For however brief a moment, and it was the best birthday gift I could have gotten. Reminders of my past, and hopes for my future. Tonight I sleep in Summer again, with better posture and maybe with a calming mind. Happy Birthday to me, Good night everyone. :)
She massaged my body in a way that released all the tension in my back, neck and shoulders. It was crazy after an hour I could move my arms more then I could before. My shoulders felt flat and straight, instead curved inward like usual. I held my whole upper body differently and I felt weightless. I think that and watching Summer Wars the night before really calmed me down and put me back in reality. (I love that movie as its set on my birthday just IS summer.)
As I walked out I realized the last Birthday, day that I spent alone (but still had dinner with friends) was in Thailand when on a tropical island- and I loved that birthday. Relaxed sitting in a PRET with a new perspective of my day I just decided to let things go. I started walking and found April Bloomfields resturant- Salvation Taco and relaxed with great views on their rooftop bar. Afterwards I went to a Japanese Matcha house and then to the Natural History museum for a Planetarium show. Happy on multiple layers I wandered the UWS, bought my first Kurt Vonogut book and met up with Cat and Mark at Irving Farms for coffee and reading time before dinner.
Dinner- the place I was unsure of- was at the Boat Basin Cafe on 79th and the river, where Cat, Mark, Jill, Damian, Lauren, and Kelly and I chatted, and watched the sunset while we ate. It was just a great day that left me feeling like me again. It was a day that felt like Summer again, especially after getting ice cream and spending an hour on Damians roof chatting, watching lightning stretch across the sky. Summer, and me came back. For however brief a moment, and it was the best birthday gift I could have gotten. Reminders of my past, and hopes for my future. Tonight I sleep in Summer again, with better posture and maybe with a calming mind. Happy Birthday to me, Good night everyone. :)