Sunburnt travel log from the city streets.
Sometimes I think my life was easier as a traveler. As a backpacker my life was made up of a different set of obstacles. Success was found in the days adventure, and how tired my legs were at the end of the day. Satisfaction was the realization that every day is a journey, and so much could be found in everyone. Life as a traveling allowed me to experience little slivers of a hundred different worlds. It was a life absent of those mechanical, logical, slow paced life choices. Instead it was populated with the emotional obstacles of life- like the joy of finding friends, or that butter knot you get in your stomach when your paths diverge. Its life on a macro, emotional level set of fast forward only slowing down for an occasional small moment late at night.
I bring this up as today I felt like a traveler. Today from 10:30AM until sunset I spent wandering through the wooded pathways of central park. I had a kickball game in the morning for the coffee company I work for , we had brunch afterwards at Tavern on the Green. Then in the afternoon I met up with Cat, Lauren, Mark, Kelly and Damian for a picnic on the great lawn. I decided to spend the whole day in the park, so after everyone left and I took a brief park break to get some coffee with Damian I came back into the park and watch the sunset- thats when I got reflective. About a year ago I had a day almost exactly like today, yet oddly that day a year ago felt much more satisfying. I got more easily lost in it. I have never really liked my life since coming back from being a teacher/traveler in Thailand. I have always felt at the best of times happily distracted with my life in NYC. Which is funny because what I always liked most about traveling, and my time in Thailand is everyday felt like I was directly confronting LIFE. I always felt I was exactly where I wanted to be because I was pushing myself to my fullest ability, challenging myself daily and at night as I watched the sunset left with the satisfying afterglow feeling of satisfaction. Because I knew who I was.
Tonight's sunset on the great lawn just felt contemplative, reflective, and uncertain. I mean still "happy" but I just know I am not in the right place. And as of this moment I don't know how to find it. So I sit like I have on so many of those nights a few years ago- tanned, smelling of sun, in an air conditioned room writing my thoughts and yerning back to a time where life was an adventure. The hardest part in starting again is that the only structure we have of what could be lies in what already was. Off to take a break from thinking- burger and the Big Lebowski. Night.
I bring this up as today I felt like a traveler. Today from 10:30AM until sunset I spent wandering through the wooded pathways of central park. I had a kickball game in the morning for the coffee company I work for , we had brunch afterwards at Tavern on the Green. Then in the afternoon I met up with Cat, Lauren, Mark, Kelly and Damian for a picnic on the great lawn. I decided to spend the whole day in the park, so after everyone left and I took a brief park break to get some coffee with Damian I came back into the park and watch the sunset- thats when I got reflective. About a year ago I had a day almost exactly like today, yet oddly that day a year ago felt much more satisfying. I got more easily lost in it. I have never really liked my life since coming back from being a teacher/traveler in Thailand. I have always felt at the best of times happily distracted with my life in NYC. Which is funny because what I always liked most about traveling, and my time in Thailand is everyday felt like I was directly confronting LIFE. I always felt I was exactly where I wanted to be because I was pushing myself to my fullest ability, challenging myself daily and at night as I watched the sunset left with the satisfying afterglow feeling of satisfaction. Because I knew who I was.
Tonight's sunset on the great lawn just felt contemplative, reflective, and uncertain. I mean still "happy" but I just know I am not in the right place. And as of this moment I don't know how to find it. So I sit like I have on so many of those nights a few years ago- tanned, smelling of sun, in an air conditioned room writing my thoughts and yerning back to a time where life was an adventure. The hardest part in starting again is that the only structure we have of what could be lies in what already was. Off to take a break from thinking- burger and the Big Lebowski. Night.