Final to the road
Title: Final to the road
Fandom: Crossover: Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles | X/1999
Characters: Kamui, Kamui, Subaru
Pairing: Kamui/Kamui, Kamui/Subaru
Prompt: 20. The road home
Word count: 851
Rating: R
Disclaimer: I do not own.
We’d known it would happen eventually. Our parting, well, your parting since you’re the one who will be leaving. I wonder why you stayed by my side for so long, i’m sure you’d have been able to find your brother at any point in time if you had wanted to do so... Why didn’t you? Perhaps you truly didn’t know though, perhaps I was merely trying to trick my mind into believing that you cared for me for a small amount of time. I cruel mesh of thoughts to help myself accept what you were offering without second thoughts.
This is the ending of the road we chose, I guess.
This last night seems tense, i’m sure you’re aware of it which is why you’re remaining cold and distant. One last attempt to push me away in order to soothe your own aches and pains, you think that if you push me away that the parting will be so much easier. You really don’t know anything about relationships, do you? It’s sad really. After all the progress we’d made...you’re willing to throw it away simply because it’ll hurt you. You’ve been telling me that it’s for the best for the past few days but, well, I simply know that you’re wrong. I’d rather face the pain at the end than face it too early. You can’t understand that though and for all the times you’ve said that i’m blind to the truth I can’t help but laugh and quote the same back to you.
I see perfectly fine. You’re the one who’s blind to the world and its truths.
I’m not about to let you go without a final farewell, whether it’s what you want or not, I know you won’t object either way. I just need this one last moment of insanity to remind myself that I have the ability to feel something, strength to submit to someone else yet also to stand equal. I know that you merely want something to help you detach from what will play out tomorrow, a greedy need to find a release before you once again have to bottle everything up within yourself.
This road we’ve been walking...a road we’re both hoping will lead us to our homes, that one thing which will keep us together through everything.
You’ll be returning to your brother, the one you call home who has a heart with someone else. I almost pity you for not being able to see what I saw from the start of things. I’m not going to ruin this last attempt at being a whole to voice that though. I try to remove myself from those touches of yours; it’s not me that you see when you run hands and lips over skin. It’s your brother, always has been and always will be. The home you seek which you’ll never reach. I suppose at least you have one though, who am I left with after all? The one I sought out as a home died all those years ago, he died and left me unable to seek out another.
One final curse which he’s left behind for my existence.
Goodbyes are never easy and i’m not going to allow you to go peacefully. It’s twisted but...i’m purposely trying to hurt you in any way that I can. You have a home which you’ll return to, a person who will stand by you even if his interests are truly elsewhere, while I have nothing to grasp for by now. I hate you. It’s almost as though you’ve stolen everything from me, my life and my love, now you’re going to simply leave me behind.
I can’t bring myself to kiss you goodbye.
Do what you wish but...in my mind you’re taking my home away. You’ll be ending your road and yet i’ll forever be walking along it. I wish you’d never come into my life in the first place, thrown everything up in the air and tempted me with something i’ll never have again.
I wonder if it would surprise you to know that i’m planning out your death, vampire. Slitting your throat to see the blood...no, I could never do that. Strangling you then? Watching your life slip slowly through my fingers in the same way as the road back to my home is going. Thoughts like these are the only thing i’ll allow myself to have relating to you, a false hatred created from the hole you’re digging into me, the one thing that’ll stop me from moving on.
If I can’t end my road to home then why should I let you? You deserve to feel the pain that I feel from all of this. You never will though. Perhaps that’s what makes this road seem so much longer. It’s a lonely road, one which i’ll continue to walk and one which you may never see the true ending to...
I suppose...if you ever needed a home then there would always be the road back to me. Even if it’s stupid i’ll always offer that one place to you because you’re...me.
Fandom: Crossover: Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles | X/1999
Characters: Kamui, Kamui, Subaru
Pairing: Kamui/Kamui, Kamui/Subaru
Prompt: 20. The road home
Word count: 851
Rating: R
Disclaimer: I do not own.
We’d known it would happen eventually. Our parting, well, your parting since you’re the one who will be leaving. I wonder why you stayed by my side for so long, i’m sure you’d have been able to find your brother at any point in time if you had wanted to do so... Why didn’t you? Perhaps you truly didn’t know though, perhaps I was merely trying to trick my mind into believing that you cared for me for a small amount of time. I cruel mesh of thoughts to help myself accept what you were offering without second thoughts.
This is the ending of the road we chose, I guess.
This last night seems tense, i’m sure you’re aware of it which is why you’re remaining cold and distant. One last attempt to push me away in order to soothe your own aches and pains, you think that if you push me away that the parting will be so much easier. You really don’t know anything about relationships, do you? It’s sad really. After all the progress we’d made...you’re willing to throw it away simply because it’ll hurt you. You’ve been telling me that it’s for the best for the past few days but, well, I simply know that you’re wrong. I’d rather face the pain at the end than face it too early. You can’t understand that though and for all the times you’ve said that i’m blind to the truth I can’t help but laugh and quote the same back to you.
I see perfectly fine. You’re the one who’s blind to the world and its truths.
I’m not about to let you go without a final farewell, whether it’s what you want or not, I know you won’t object either way. I just need this one last moment of insanity to remind myself that I have the ability to feel something, strength to submit to someone else yet also to stand equal. I know that you merely want something to help you detach from what will play out tomorrow, a greedy need to find a release before you once again have to bottle everything up within yourself.
This road we’ve been walking...a road we’re both hoping will lead us to our homes, that one thing which will keep us together through everything.
You’ll be returning to your brother, the one you call home who has a heart with someone else. I almost pity you for not being able to see what I saw from the start of things. I’m not going to ruin this last attempt at being a whole to voice that though. I try to remove myself from those touches of yours; it’s not me that you see when you run hands and lips over skin. It’s your brother, always has been and always will be. The home you seek which you’ll never reach. I suppose at least you have one though, who am I left with after all? The one I sought out as a home died all those years ago, he died and left me unable to seek out another.
One final curse which he’s left behind for my existence.
Goodbyes are never easy and i’m not going to allow you to go peacefully. It’s twisted but...i’m purposely trying to hurt you in any way that I can. You have a home which you’ll return to, a person who will stand by you even if his interests are truly elsewhere, while I have nothing to grasp for by now. I hate you. It’s almost as though you’ve stolen everything from me, my life and my love, now you’re going to simply leave me behind.
I can’t bring myself to kiss you goodbye.
Do what you wish but...in my mind you’re taking my home away. You’ll be ending your road and yet i’ll forever be walking along it. I wish you’d never come into my life in the first place, thrown everything up in the air and tempted me with something i’ll never have again.
I wonder if it would surprise you to know that i’m planning out your death, vampire. Slitting your throat to see the blood...no, I could never do that. Strangling you then? Watching your life slip slowly through my fingers in the same way as the road back to my home is going. Thoughts like these are the only thing i’ll allow myself to have relating to you, a false hatred created from the hole you’re digging into me, the one thing that’ll stop me from moving on.
If I can’t end my road to home then why should I let you? You deserve to feel the pain that I feel from all of this. You never will though. Perhaps that’s what makes this road seem so much longer. It’s a lonely road, one which i’ll continue to walk and one which you may never see the true ending to...
I suppose...if you ever needed a home then there would always be the road back to me. Even if it’s stupid i’ll always offer that one place to you because you’re...me.