Memory
One thing I noticed about my self is that I have bad memory in the memorization of people, names, and of events in my life. However, I do have a good memory in the memorization of facts (thus my ability to tell detailed history from the top of my head and, sometimes I even suprise myself, to recite back a fact I heard only once either hours or days ago.).
Remember when I mention my slight paranoia in the first days of university? Well it made me wonder, is it possible (I think it is; beyond the usage memory lost involved in getting wasted/stoned) to like forget memories even if they are recent? That could be one explanation.
Talking about memory...In my last days in PR when I went to buy jeans at the mall supposedly one of the women of the store recognized me from Robinson School (note: I've attended there from 1st grade to around 4th; that means this is ancient history at least to me). I of course didn't and went about with my business. I figured this out because my sisters found out later as they went to the same store.
I find the idea of people knowing/recognizing me while I don't know/recognize them (in person) creepy. I wonder why my "experiential memory" isn't that good... (probably the answer to that is a pandora's box to childhood/early adolescent problems that I'm unaware and best left buried).
Although I should not concern myself with my past, mostly irrational, sense of paranoia.
This long weekend was...quite boring... Mostly because the Housing staff decided to make a string of activites at thurday to friday or saturday leaving the rest 3 days with no activities. Of course, the rationale, mostly not to invent anything else for the weekend, probably was because most people go home on this weekend. This lead me realize that in a way I "have no home to go to."
I keep having a weak yet persistent feeling of loneliness which becomes stronger when I'm bored...
A fear that wanders my head is that I won't ever find love...
Remember when I mention my slight paranoia in the first days of university? Well it made me wonder, is it possible (I think it is; beyond the usage memory lost involved in getting wasted/stoned) to like forget memories even if they are recent? That could be one explanation.
Talking about memory...In my last days in PR when I went to buy jeans at the mall supposedly one of the women of the store recognized me from Robinson School (note: I've attended there from 1st grade to around 4th; that means this is ancient history at least to me). I of course didn't and went about with my business. I figured this out because my sisters found out later as they went to the same store.
I find the idea of people knowing/recognizing me while I don't know/recognize them (in person) creepy. I wonder why my "experiential memory" isn't that good... (probably the answer to that is a pandora's box to childhood/early adolescent problems that I'm unaware and best left buried).
Although I should not concern myself with my past, mostly irrational, sense of paranoia.
This long weekend was...quite boring... Mostly because the Housing staff decided to make a string of activites at thurday to friday or saturday leaving the rest 3 days with no activities. Of course, the rationale, mostly not to invent anything else for the weekend, probably was because most people go home on this weekend. This lead me realize that in a way I "have no home to go to."
I keep having a weak yet persistent feeling of loneliness which becomes stronger when I'm bored...
A fear that wanders my head is that I won't ever find love...