I raise you up...
It was almost sureal walking into the church, soo many familar faces, soo many tears, soo much life from the loss of one...It was sooo sad. Both of his sets of parents talked it was so hard hearing them say goodbye to their son. Ryan's 5 sisters the youngest 9 also spoke...Can you imagine being 9 and loosing your big brother....It was soo hard...Seeing Ryan's two best friends was especially hard having gone to school with them for soo long...especially David...Seeing him just brought back soo many memories, I mean I've known him since kindergarten and spent more time with him than my own father...Seeing everyone brought back soo many memories, there were soo many St.Rose people there, teachers, classmates...it was soo bitter sweet... All of Ryan's fraternity brothers were there, they were all lined up along the sides of the church all in black with their pins...seeing them broke my heart...they leaned his paddle up against the huge picture of him ...and all I could think about was my own sister's and all of my greek friends...and what his brothers must be going through...
After the services Analis and I went to the reception and Ryan's dad, there were pictures of him everywhere and lots of people were there as well...It's weird our class is soooo close to eachother like, really close, but at the same time we are all so disconnected...It was like seeing someone you went up to them gave them a huge hug, then asked them what they wee doing and they asked you the same but then there was this akwardness where you were like get me out of this...it was wierd but yet we all were stil happy to see eachother and felt close... Anyway it's weird I also realized how much LA is where I'm suppose to be, Ana went and hung out with here old hs group and It just didnt feel right to me, I've grown soo much I in no way want to go back to HS... One of the things that I've learned from all of this tragedy is that life is too short to waste on pretending, being petty, and fake...be yourself and hold on to that no matter what beacause who knows how long any of us have....
I feel drained... I miss home... I miss Emma...I miss the boyz... I miss my sisters... I'm tired of SR... I need out...I'm just sad about all of thins and soo tired of crying...I just want a hug
After the services Analis and I went to the reception and Ryan's dad, there were pictures of him everywhere and lots of people were there as well...It's weird our class is soooo close to eachother like, really close, but at the same time we are all so disconnected...It was like seeing someone you went up to them gave them a huge hug, then asked them what they wee doing and they asked you the same but then there was this akwardness where you were like get me out of this...it was wierd but yet we all were stil happy to see eachother and felt close... Anyway it's weird I also realized how much LA is where I'm suppose to be, Ana went and hung out with here old hs group and It just didnt feel right to me, I've grown soo much I in no way want to go back to HS... One of the things that I've learned from all of this tragedy is that life is too short to waste on pretending, being petty, and fake...be yourself and hold on to that no matter what beacause who knows how long any of us have....
I feel drained... I miss home... I miss Emma...I miss the boyz... I miss my sisters... I'm tired of SR... I need out...I'm just sad about all of thins and soo tired of crying...I just want a hug