Did that just happen....
I woke up this morning in a very strange mood...just kind of unsure how to feel...I had been looking at old pictures of Ryan and school before I went to bed and had fallen asleep so when I woke up they were next to me...I finised looking at them and then I looked outside and just kinda thought about things. It's just so weird he's gone and seeing everyone this weekend and life...
I got out of bed and got ready and then I helped my mom with some chores at about 9 my grandama and papa came over to visit and I sat and talked with my grandma, which is always intresting. At about 10:30 Ana called me to let me know when to be ready, I was planning on going to one of her co-workers weddings with her because she didnt feel like being alone... I still was in a really low mood and didn't much feel like going anywhere. But right around 11:15ish I go a wonderfu call from my angel while he was on his break *wink* It's always nice to know someone cares... (ps take a break, i worry about you)
At 2pm I was all ready and Ana picked me up. We drove up to healdsburg and the gorgeous winery up in the hills, we almost got lost but we made it. When we got there and pulled up and could see a white chairs and a wedding area set up but there were no people around except for a few people helping set up...so I was like, "Analis where is everyone? what time does the ceremony start?" and she goes, "i don't know, it's suppose to start at 3"...I picked up the invitation and read what it said, "You are cordially invited to help celebrate the wedding of.......on july sixteenth..." I stoped, today wasn't the 16th..."Analis what day is it?" I asked "Saturday" she answered me looking for someone she knew in the 10 people there... "ANA THE WEDDING IS ON SUNDAY... TOMMOROW!!!!"...She tuned around and was like, "you're joking!" and I showed her...It was soo funny...she read the invitation wrong, we would have gone to someone elses wedding!!!!! We cracked up and were in tears laughing about it, things had just been soo crazy and emotionally draining that she just didn't read the ivite right. LoL it was definetly and old school ana moment...lol
We decided because we were in healdsburg we would go have lunch which was nice, we sat on the patio of the Healdsburg Grille and had drinks and talked about things, Then we went to powell's and got some ice cream (i had pink lemonade in honor of someone<3) and candy. After that we drove to Barnes&Nobles where we bought some books and looked through wedding planning stuff, since I'm planning her "he still needs to ask her officially to marry him" wedding - lol...it was nice. While we were driving along Ana's mom called and asked her when she would be home because they were going out, Ana was driving me home because my mom and I wanted to take my grandma to River Rock the casino close by. I asked Ana where she was going and she told me River Rock...I began to laugh and told her we were going to the same place...LOL
When Ana dropped me off I gave my mom the sodoku book I bought her and then I rested for a lil bit. Then when everyone was ready we got in the car and made our way to River Rock...The casino is only 20 - 30 min away the drive is gorgeous becasue you are driving through the hills and wineries... When we got there Analis called me and told me to come meet her and her parents for dinner at the casino resturant. Me and my mom made our way over and OMG guess who was their waitress?!?!?! : Ashley Gebb....it was like a crazy blast from the past...I can't even believe we saw her...hopefully we'll get to hang out this summer, I gave her the biggest hug...After dinner Analis, her mom, my mom, and I hit the slot machines. Ana and I were slowly catching on to how to play...SOOOOO...
I have this thing about when I pick my macines...they have to call to me or have some significance...LOL...there has to be something that pulls me to them....So we're all walking and all of a sudden I hear this tune in the back corner....And I whip around and there it is....THE PRICE IS RIGHT slot machines....I run over and am like this is the machine I'm playing.... So I put $5...and play I hit jackpot/showcase 3 times once landing on 100....it was crazy!!!! at one point I had made $145....I finished my round with my $5 cashing out withe $95.......Then we were walking along and i saw the is slot machine that said "SWING and JIVE" on it...these swing dancing machines so I put $5 in...I left with $88.... I ony spent $17 the whole night and I left with $183....
Anyway It wasa fun evening, it was nice hanging out with our moms, it was like old times...The whole day was kinda sureal and still all we could talk about was Ryan and everything we had gone through...On Thursady I leave for LA....I'm soooooooooooooooo excited to see everyone, the boyz, Cat, KT, my sisters, the bluff, the traffic, LAX, the beach....everything....I miss everyone sooo much...things have been rough and I need some healing and fun *wink*...I still have to figure out who I'm staying with... Blah...one more thing to do on my list, there are soo many people I want to see but everyone works and I dont want to be an inconvienence to them but I have to find somewhere to be for the 7 days I'm there!!! AHHH!...we'll see what happens I dont want to stress about it but I'm getting there... I feel like when they land the plane in LA I'm going to cry not happy tears though I will be extremley glad to be home, but tears beacuse I've been gone for so long... for what seems like forever...Soo much happened in these past couple months to me that has taken soo much out of me, and I'be had to sort of deaden my self to circumstance, I need to get back to feeling like myself...I'm kinda scared in a way I feel like I'm returning after battle or some huge failure...I dont know...I just know I'm glad to be comming home...