veni vidi vici; pg; jessica & krystal
veni vidi vici
jessica, krystal, sister!fic
notes now posted here. should probably read the story before the notes, or you'll be completely confuzzled.
It’s not like Soojung hasn’t been expecting this for months, but she jumps anyway when her bedroom door slams open.
“What were you thinking?” Jessica looks angrier than she’s ever been since that time when Soojung stole (borrowed) her Louboutin stilettos to wear to her 9th grade formal and ended up snapping the heel.
An eye for an eye, she thinks. “What.”
“You, switching without-”
Stay calm, she thinks. “Be quiet, Mom and Dad will hear you.”
“They’re out, it doesn’t matter because that’s not the point.” She stops short and purses her lips, but when she speaks again her voice is lower. Soojung feels some sick satisfaction curling uncomfortably in the pit of her stomach. “What’s wrong with you?”
What is wrong with her?
She’s spent months hypothesizing this argument, sketching out her battle plan and fortifying her defense. Inside and out, it’s on the margins of her homework and in her dreams and nightmares. And yet, all it takes is her sister crashing back into her bedroom and her life, to make her forget every little plan she’s made.
It makes her so mad, she’s flying out of her seat, fists clenched and forehead drawn.
“Without what, switching what without what, what, what-” It takes her a moment to realize that she’s the one yelling now, voice hoarse and rough.
Jessica looks taken aback, for one sacred fleeting moment. Victory, Soojung thinks, then it’s like she is looking into a mirror, the way her sister is standing in the doorway.
“It’s an arts and entertainment school, for God’s sake, if you would just go back to-”
“And it’s a real school, for real singers and it’ll help for the future-”
“-international school. What future, your future here?”
They freeze. Now this has ventured past the point of no return, into the hypothetical no-man's zone. Forbidden territory, up untill now.
“What are you saying.” Soojung says slowly. It's harder than she thought it would be, pretending to be ignorant. She's uncomfortably aware of the way her fingernails dig into her palms. It's painful, but she only grips harder.
“You,” Jessica is saying. “And me. We’re not Korean.”
Her heart drops and quashes any of the earlier satisfaction that hasn’t already melted into dread, rising up into the back of her throat. Just like that, she's defeated already. “What-”
“You know what I mean.” Jessica cuts her off, voice like a knife. “We’re different, we’re not really Korean and we’ll never be, not the way that they are. You know it.”
Soojung knows. Knows it in the way she speaks just a little too sharp, vowels are too forced and in the way her tongue stumbles over itself at school and then on stage. Knows it in the way she dreams about sand between her toes and English in her ears, burritos melting on her tongue.
If Soojung knows, then Krystal knows it too.
And Jessica will be there to make sure she doesn't forget it. “You and me, we’re never going to fit in here.”
“It doesn’t mean I can’t try. And how would you know?”
Jessica doesn’t back down, like Krystal had half-hoped she would. “Just look around.This, whatever we do, isn’t going to last forever, and then when it ends where will you be? You’re crazy if you think we can do this forever, because we can’t. Think about university, and-”
Now she remembers that this is Jessica Jung, older sister, 3.9 GPA and dreams of Columbia and Brown.
“-you’re effectively ruining your chances of-”
“How would you know?”
She doesn’t even know where she’s going with this, only that it’s months and months of tears and late nights that are rushing out in a maelstrom of frustration. “How would you know, you and your perfect little career. You’ve got something going for you, you can stay here or go back to America and do whatever the hell you want.” Jessica’s jaw drops. Good, she thinks grimly.
“You don’t need to worry about the future.” Like I do.
Jessica runs a hand through her hair, looking far older and more exhausted than she has the right to. “You have a career of your own and you were doing perfectly fine before, so I don’t understand why you’re blocking off so many paths for yourself-”
“You,” Krystal grinds out. “Have eight other girls to count on. You’ll always have a home, I’m just, just making one for myself now.” Her throat seizes up. No, don’t cry. “Qian’s going to go back to China, Sunyoung will sing sad songs for dramas and Jinri will be the star of a drama or host some stupid radio show with Heechul. What do you want me to do? What do you think I can do?”
“My god, is this about Amber-” Jessica cuts off and blinks twice, realization and anger blooming in the set of her mouth. Maybe this is why Krystal hasn't gotten a callback from the audition she went to three weeks ago. “Are you so stupid as to think that, that by making it clear you’re staying here that maybe, maybe she’ll come back to Korea and f(x) and you-”
“Well, it worked with you, didn’t it?”
Jessica doesn’t come home for months.
jessica, krystal, sister!fic
notes now posted here. should probably read the story before the notes, or you'll be completely confuzzled.
It’s not like Soojung hasn’t been expecting this for months, but she jumps anyway when her bedroom door slams open.
“What were you thinking?” Jessica looks angrier than she’s ever been since that time when Soojung stole (borrowed) her Louboutin stilettos to wear to her 9th grade formal and ended up snapping the heel.
An eye for an eye, she thinks. “What.”
“You, switching without-”
Stay calm, she thinks. “Be quiet, Mom and Dad will hear you.”
“They’re out, it doesn’t matter because that’s not the point.” She stops short and purses her lips, but when she speaks again her voice is lower. Soojung feels some sick satisfaction curling uncomfortably in the pit of her stomach. “What’s wrong with you?”
What is wrong with her?
She’s spent months hypothesizing this argument, sketching out her battle plan and fortifying her defense. Inside and out, it’s on the margins of her homework and in her dreams and nightmares. And yet, all it takes is her sister crashing back into her bedroom and her life, to make her forget every little plan she’s made.
It makes her so mad, she’s flying out of her seat, fists clenched and forehead drawn.
“Without what, switching what without what, what, what-” It takes her a moment to realize that she’s the one yelling now, voice hoarse and rough.
Jessica looks taken aback, for one sacred fleeting moment. Victory, Soojung thinks, then it’s like she is looking into a mirror, the way her sister is standing in the doorway.
“It’s an arts and entertainment school, for God’s sake, if you would just go back to-”
“And it’s a real school, for real singers and it’ll help for the future-”
“-international school. What future, your future here?”
They freeze. Now this has ventured past the point of no return, into the hypothetical no-man's zone. Forbidden territory, up untill now.
“What are you saying.” Soojung says slowly. It's harder than she thought it would be, pretending to be ignorant. She's uncomfortably aware of the way her fingernails dig into her palms. It's painful, but she only grips harder.
“You,” Jessica is saying. “And me. We’re not Korean.”
Her heart drops and quashes any of the earlier satisfaction that hasn’t already melted into dread, rising up into the back of her throat. Just like that, she's defeated already. “What-”
“You know what I mean.” Jessica cuts her off, voice like a knife. “We’re different, we’re not really Korean and we’ll never be, not the way that they are. You know it.”
Soojung knows. Knows it in the way she speaks just a little too sharp, vowels are too forced and in the way her tongue stumbles over itself at school and then on stage. Knows it in the way she dreams about sand between her toes and English in her ears, burritos melting on her tongue.
If Soojung knows, then Krystal knows it too.
And Jessica will be there to make sure she doesn't forget it. “You and me, we’re never going to fit in here.”
“It doesn’t mean I can’t try. And how would you know?”
Jessica doesn’t back down, like Krystal had half-hoped she would. “Just look around.This, whatever we do, isn’t going to last forever, and then when it ends where will you be? You’re crazy if you think we can do this forever, because we can’t. Think about university, and-”
Now she remembers that this is Jessica Jung, older sister, 3.9 GPA and dreams of Columbia and Brown.
“-you’re effectively ruining your chances of-”
“How would you know?”
She doesn’t even know where she’s going with this, only that it’s months and months of tears and late nights that are rushing out in a maelstrom of frustration. “How would you know, you and your perfect little career. You’ve got something going for you, you can stay here or go back to America and do whatever the hell you want.” Jessica’s jaw drops. Good, she thinks grimly.
“You don’t need to worry about the future.” Like I do.
Jessica runs a hand through her hair, looking far older and more exhausted than she has the right to. “You have a career of your own and you were doing perfectly fine before, so I don’t understand why you’re blocking off so many paths for yourself-”
“You,” Krystal grinds out. “Have eight other girls to count on. You’ll always have a home, I’m just, just making one for myself now.” Her throat seizes up. No, don’t cry. “Qian’s going to go back to China, Sunyoung will sing sad songs for dramas and Jinri will be the star of a drama or host some stupid radio show with Heechul. What do you want me to do? What do you think I can do?”
“My god, is this about Amber-” Jessica cuts off and blinks twice, realization and anger blooming in the set of her mouth. Maybe this is why Krystal hasn't gotten a callback from the audition she went to three weeks ago. “Are you so stupid as to think that, that by making it clear you’re staying here that maybe, maybe she’ll come back to Korea and f(x) and you-”
“Well, it worked with you, didn’t it?”
Jessica doesn’t come home for months.