notes for veni vidi vici
this post contains notes and explanations for the story veni vidi vici. because of my confusing prose and unclear phrasing of events in the story, i hope this will help previous readers understand what is going on in the story and what i tried to do with various themes. i really did try to layer a lot in the dialogue and phrasing, so...here goes nothing, and enjoy!
the title of the story, veni vidi vici, means "i came, i saw, i conquered" in latin (made famous by julius caesar). it's supposed to be sort of ironic and tie in with the theme of the story (more on that later). krystal 'won' the argument with jess, but she sort of lost out in the end.
the theme is, coming and going. its dealt with in a lot of contexts: amber going to the US, jessica's constant flutter in and out of krystal's life, krystal's search for identity in korea/US. obviously, jessica's coming to talk to krystal and leaving in the end. deep shit, you know.
It’s not like Soojung hasn’t been expecting this for months, but she jumps anyway when her bedroom door slams open.
krystal has already switched (true fact) from korea kent foreign school to hanlim arts school. for those of you who don't know, KKFS is a (seemingly) well-known english language international school in korea. or SME just really likes sending their kids their. some artists who have attended are tiffany and jessica of SNSD, BoA and ICONIQ (ahyoomee/ayumi, when she was still under SM).
let's say this fic is set in real time. it's taken this long for a confrontation because of SMTown's world tour and SNSD's various japanese activities. krystal's antsy because she's been anticipating it.
“What were you thinking?” Jessica looks angrier than she’s ever been since that time when Soojung stole (borrowed) her Louboutin stilettos to wear to her 9th grade formal and ended up snapping the heel.
An eye for an eye, she thinks. “What.”
“You, switching without-”
i may or may not have made it seem like an AU? regardless, keep in mind that f(x) debuted when krystal was in 10th grade. therefore, 9th grade = not that long ago. jessica and SNSD would have had already made it big; thus the insinuation that jessica would have something like louboutins in her closet.
krystal has personally stated that she lives at home. i believe jessica is also one of the girls in SNSD who go home more often (and sunny :D) due to proximity. also, i believe they once said that jessica had taken stuff from krystal's closet before, when they were fighting. so this is just a reversal of sister dynamics.
Stay calm, she thinks. “Be quiet, Mom and Dad will hear you.”
this is krystal getting jessica riled up by treating her concern/anger as something trivial and barely related. it's very cold hearted and sort of two-faced, more out of frustration than true hate. it works; i do it all the time :D
“They’re out, it doesn’t matter because that’s not the point.” She stops short and purses her lips, but when she speaks again her voice is lower. Soojung feels some sick satisfaction curling uncomfortably in the pit of her stomach. “What’s wrong with you?”
What is wrong with her?
simply put, krystal's playing a game of push and pull here. her satisfaction is an allusion to the bigger picture (her motive to switch schools); even though she got what she wanted by doing whatever she did, it doesn't end up bringing her what she really wants.
“It’s an arts and entertainment school, for God’s sake, if you would just go back to-”
“And it’s a real school, for real singers and it’ll help for the future-”
“-international school. What future, your future here?”
They freeze. Now this has ventured past the point of no return, into the hypothetical no-man's zone. Forbidden territory, up untill now.
hanlim multi-arts high school is a legit school, in real life. it really is for kids who are training to go into the entertainment industry (or those in it), not only as idols, but as actors or singers, etc...i know that dongho from UKISS goes there too. yeah, it's legit.
the real point of argument here is the abandonment of the american education system and SATs (standardized american testing. SATs are required to enter american universities or colleges; one does take them at KKFS, but obviously not in a korean school. jessica is implying that krystal has effectively shut off any possiblity of her returning to america for future schooling. i imagine that academics is a touchy subject for most idols, certainly so with the jungs (?). i know their parents didn't allow krystal to train as early as jessica did, whether it's out of concern for education or having a childhood.
“You know what I mean.” Jessica cuts her off, voice like a knife. “We’re different, we’re not really Korean and we’ll never be, not the way that they are. You know it.”
anybody who's second generation in a foreign country will know this: when you go back to your parents' home country, people can almost always tell that you grew up somewhere else, regardless of how well you speak the language or know the customs. sometimes they say you look different too, but...:@
krystal herself has said on koala that people say her korean does sound different, like she's speaking english (luna brought it up first). jessica, though more proficient than her fellow american tiffany, sometimes doesn't understand the korean in conversations or speaks with an american accent (nogari! watch star golden bell). because krystal spent more of her formative years in korea than jessica, it's evident that her english is not quite up to jessica's standards when watching her speak on programs such as the m-wave. so like i said, neither here nor there.
And Jessica will be there to make sure she doesn't forget it. “You and me, we’re never going to fit in here.”
“It doesn’t mean I can’t try. And how would you know?”
Jessica doesn’t back down, like Krystal had half-hoped she would. “Just look around.This, whatever we do, isn’t going to last forever, and then when it ends where will you be? You’re crazy if you think we can do this forever, because we can’t. Think about university, and-”
idols, korea chews them up and spits them out young. GP Basic and other tiny girl group i can't remember the name of, i'm looking at you. anyway, most idols will fade away after their 20s. the fortunate ones will go on hosting or mc-ing or something. cruel fact of life.
She doesn’t even know where she’s going with this, only that it’s months and months of tears and late nights that are rushing out in a maelstrom of frustration. “How would you know, you and your perfect little career. You’ve got something going for you, you can stay here or go back to America and do whatever the hell you want.” Jessica’s jaw drops. Good, she thinks grimly.
jessica is talented. no matter what the antis say, i think it can be generally accepted that jessica is relatively talented in the ever increasing pool of k-pop princesses (also, i am rationalized by legally blonde). that, coupled with the fact that she's a member of SNSD, could effectively secure her a longer lifespan in the entertainment industry, if she so desired. jessica also did graduate from KKFS, so i'm assuming she wrote her SATs.
her entire situation is a contrast to krystal's (group in limbo, not fully integrated in korea or america, less prominence, scandals due to lack of respect...). oh! and hyoyeon recently stated that jessica was always out and about with lots of friends; it's well known that she's BFFLs with park min young (korean actress). has anyone noticed that the kids with more friends stick around longer and pop up in more places? (hi, minho, leeteuk, onew, tiffany)
so, krystal's "how would you know?" is prompted by insecurities about her situation vs. jessica's.
Jessica runs a hand through her hair, looking far older and more exhausted than she has the right to. “You have a career of your own and you were doing perfectly fine before, so I don’t understand why you’re blocking off so many paths for yourself-”
“You,” Krystal grinds out. “Have eight other girls to count on. You’ll always have a home, I’m just, just making one for myself now.” Her throat seizes up. No, don’t cry. “Qian’s going to go back to China, Sunyoung will sing sad songs for dramas and Jinri will be the star of a drama or host some stupid radio show with Heechul. What do you want me to do? What do you think I can do?”
from jessica's pov, krystal's still working her way to the top. jessica spent a long time (9 years?) as a trainee and went through some amount of scandal from her pictures with donghae and jaejoong (suju & DBSK/JYJ). so whereas krystal has some expectations, jessica regards her situation as (somewhat) normal.
i don't think it's been explicitly stated this far, but krystal's switching schools was prompted mainly because she felt she had to make a future for herself here in korea. therefore, switch to school in korean system. she doesn't feel she has a true purpose in f(x).
tbh, i would relate her to kibum in SHINee, a jack-of-all-trades. she sings and dances well, but is not the best at either in her group. also, she's the true magnae, but sulli took her place in the magnae stage at 2010 mbc gayo daejun...? i'm still confused. to me, she's seemed a little less enthusiastic in her latest performances.
“My god, is this about Amber-” Jessica cuts off and blinks twice, realization and anger blooming in the set of her mouth. Maybe this is why Krystal hasn't gotten a callback from the audition she went to three weeks ago. “Are you so stupid as to think that, that by making it clear you’re staying here that maybe, maybe she’ll come back to Korea and f(x) and you-”
“Well, it worked with you, didn’t it?”
ultimately, no. her switch wasn't prompted by amber alone, but you could factor it into the equation. krystal thinks her face gave it away (therefore, audition and no callback...). it's either that, or jessica is more empathetic than krystal thinks. take it as you will.
at this point, jessica is fairly riled up at krystal's long rant, so she says something to provoke a response (like krystal in the beginning). krystal's last line is also said in the same vein of emotion. she's feeling frustrated at being unsure of her future, and feeling like she's been abandoned by her bandmate and her sister. let's face it, whatever's going on with amber right now is really sketchy, and jessica is super busy with SNSD.
it could also be taken in the context that jessica's accusations are partly true, which is why krystal got so upset when they were vocalized.
Jessica doesn’t come home for months.
anger! frustration! so many things.
clearly, krystal went a little overboard with her last comment. though her actions were intended to bring back the people she values (amber & jessica), it only worked to drive jessica away and SME is not bringing amber back as of yet. it further compounds krystal's lack of identity, because of the absence of her sister.
i'm really tired now. hopefully, that made things a bit clearer?
it's all fiction! :D
the title of the story, veni vidi vici, means "i came, i saw, i conquered" in latin (made famous by julius caesar). it's supposed to be sort of ironic and tie in with the theme of the story (more on that later). krystal 'won' the argument with jess, but she sort of lost out in the end.
the theme is, coming and going. its dealt with in a lot of contexts: amber going to the US, jessica's constant flutter in and out of krystal's life, krystal's search for identity in korea/US. obviously, jessica's coming to talk to krystal and leaving in the end. deep shit, you know.
It’s not like Soojung hasn’t been expecting this for months, but she jumps anyway when her bedroom door slams open.
krystal has already switched (true fact) from korea kent foreign school to hanlim arts school. for those of you who don't know, KKFS is a (seemingly) well-known english language international school in korea. or SME just really likes sending their kids their. some artists who have attended are tiffany and jessica of SNSD, BoA and ICONIQ (ahyoomee/ayumi, when she was still under SM).
let's say this fic is set in real time. it's taken this long for a confrontation because of SMTown's world tour and SNSD's various japanese activities. krystal's antsy because she's been anticipating it.
“What were you thinking?” Jessica looks angrier than she’s ever been since that time when Soojung stole (borrowed) her Louboutin stilettos to wear to her 9th grade formal and ended up snapping the heel.
An eye for an eye, she thinks. “What.”
“You, switching without-”
i may or may not have made it seem like an AU? regardless, keep in mind that f(x) debuted when krystal was in 10th grade. therefore, 9th grade = not that long ago. jessica and SNSD would have had already made it big; thus the insinuation that jessica would have something like louboutins in her closet.
krystal has personally stated that she lives at home. i believe jessica is also one of the girls in SNSD who go home more often (and sunny :D) due to proximity. also, i believe they once said that jessica had taken stuff from krystal's closet before, when they were fighting. so this is just a reversal of sister dynamics.
Stay calm, she thinks. “Be quiet, Mom and Dad will hear you.”
this is krystal getting jessica riled up by treating her concern/anger as something trivial and barely related. it's very cold hearted and sort of two-faced, more out of frustration than true hate. it works; i do it all the time :D
“They’re out, it doesn’t matter because that’s not the point.” She stops short and purses her lips, but when she speaks again her voice is lower. Soojung feels some sick satisfaction curling uncomfortably in the pit of her stomach. “What’s wrong with you?”
What is wrong with her?
simply put, krystal's playing a game of push and pull here. her satisfaction is an allusion to the bigger picture (her motive to switch schools); even though she got what she wanted by doing whatever she did, it doesn't end up bringing her what she really wants.
“It’s an arts and entertainment school, for God’s sake, if you would just go back to-”
“And it’s a real school, for real singers and it’ll help for the future-”
“-international school. What future, your future here?”
They freeze. Now this has ventured past the point of no return, into the hypothetical no-man's zone. Forbidden territory, up untill now.
hanlim multi-arts high school is a legit school, in real life. it really is for kids who are training to go into the entertainment industry (or those in it), not only as idols, but as actors or singers, etc...i know that dongho from UKISS goes there too. yeah, it's legit.
the real point of argument here is the abandonment of the american education system and SATs (standardized american testing. SATs are required to enter american universities or colleges; one does take them at KKFS, but obviously not in a korean school. jessica is implying that krystal has effectively shut off any possiblity of her returning to america for future schooling. i imagine that academics is a touchy subject for most idols, certainly so with the jungs (?). i know their parents didn't allow krystal to train as early as jessica did, whether it's out of concern for education or having a childhood.
“You know what I mean.” Jessica cuts her off, voice like a knife. “We’re different, we’re not really Korean and we’ll never be, not the way that they are. You know it.”
anybody who's second generation in a foreign country will know this: when you go back to your parents' home country, people can almost always tell that you grew up somewhere else, regardless of how well you speak the language or know the customs. sometimes they say you look different too, but...:@
krystal herself has said on koala that people say her korean does sound different, like she's speaking english (luna brought it up first). jessica, though more proficient than her fellow american tiffany, sometimes doesn't understand the korean in conversations or speaks with an american accent (nogari! watch star golden bell). because krystal spent more of her formative years in korea than jessica, it's evident that her english is not quite up to jessica's standards when watching her speak on programs such as the m-wave. so like i said, neither here nor there.
And Jessica will be there to make sure she doesn't forget it. “You and me, we’re never going to fit in here.”
“It doesn’t mean I can’t try. And how would you know?”
Jessica doesn’t back down, like Krystal had half-hoped she would. “Just look around.This, whatever we do, isn’t going to last forever, and then when it ends where will you be? You’re crazy if you think we can do this forever, because we can’t. Think about university, and-”
idols, korea chews them up and spits them out young. GP Basic and other tiny girl group i can't remember the name of, i'm looking at you. anyway, most idols will fade away after their 20s. the fortunate ones will go on hosting or mc-ing or something. cruel fact of life.
She doesn’t even know where she’s going with this, only that it’s months and months of tears and late nights that are rushing out in a maelstrom of frustration. “How would you know, you and your perfect little career. You’ve got something going for you, you can stay here or go back to America and do whatever the hell you want.” Jessica’s jaw drops. Good, she thinks grimly.
jessica is talented. no matter what the antis say, i think it can be generally accepted that jessica is relatively talented in the ever increasing pool of k-pop princesses (also, i am rationalized by legally blonde). that, coupled with the fact that she's a member of SNSD, could effectively secure her a longer lifespan in the entertainment industry, if she so desired. jessica also did graduate from KKFS, so i'm assuming she wrote her SATs.
her entire situation is a contrast to krystal's (group in limbo, not fully integrated in korea or america, less prominence, scandals due to lack of respect...). oh! and hyoyeon recently stated that jessica was always out and about with lots of friends; it's well known that she's BFFLs with park min young (korean actress). has anyone noticed that the kids with more friends stick around longer and pop up in more places? (hi, minho, leeteuk, onew, tiffany)
so, krystal's "how would you know?" is prompted by insecurities about her situation vs. jessica's.
Jessica runs a hand through her hair, looking far older and more exhausted than she has the right to. “You have a career of your own and you were doing perfectly fine before, so I don’t understand why you’re blocking off so many paths for yourself-”
“You,” Krystal grinds out. “Have eight other girls to count on. You’ll always have a home, I’m just, just making one for myself now.” Her throat seizes up. No, don’t cry. “Qian’s going to go back to China, Sunyoung will sing sad songs for dramas and Jinri will be the star of a drama or host some stupid radio show with Heechul. What do you want me to do? What do you think I can do?”
from jessica's pov, krystal's still working her way to the top. jessica spent a long time (9 years?) as a trainee and went through some amount of scandal from her pictures with donghae and jaejoong (suju & DBSK/JYJ). so whereas krystal has some expectations, jessica regards her situation as (somewhat) normal.
i don't think it's been explicitly stated this far, but krystal's switching schools was prompted mainly because she felt she had to make a future for herself here in korea. therefore, switch to school in korean system. she doesn't feel she has a true purpose in f(x).
tbh, i would relate her to kibum in SHINee, a jack-of-all-trades. she sings and dances well, but is not the best at either in her group. also, she's the true magnae, but sulli took her place in the magnae stage at 2010 mbc gayo daejun...? i'm still confused. to me, she's seemed a little less enthusiastic in her latest performances.
“My god, is this about Amber-” Jessica cuts off and blinks twice, realization and anger blooming in the set of her mouth. Maybe this is why Krystal hasn't gotten a callback from the audition she went to three weeks ago. “Are you so stupid as to think that, that by making it clear you’re staying here that maybe, maybe she’ll come back to Korea and f(x) and you-”
“Well, it worked with you, didn’t it?”
ultimately, no. her switch wasn't prompted by amber alone, but you could factor it into the equation. krystal thinks her face gave it away (therefore, audition and no callback...). it's either that, or jessica is more empathetic than krystal thinks. take it as you will.
at this point, jessica is fairly riled up at krystal's long rant, so she says something to provoke a response (like krystal in the beginning). krystal's last line is also said in the same vein of emotion. she's feeling frustrated at being unsure of her future, and feeling like she's been abandoned by her bandmate and her sister. let's face it, whatever's going on with amber right now is really sketchy, and jessica is super busy with SNSD.
it could also be taken in the context that jessica's accusations are partly true, which is why krystal got so upset when they were vocalized.
Jessica doesn’t come home for months.
anger! frustration! so many things.
clearly, krystal went a little overboard with her last comment. though her actions were intended to bring back the people she values (amber & jessica), it only worked to drive jessica away and SME is not bringing amber back as of yet. it further compounds krystal's lack of identity, because of the absence of her sister.
i'm really tired now. hopefully, that made things a bit clearer?
it's all fiction! :D