The rum is always gone when one needs it the most.
Hm, well, I still need to make a Bankai Live post, but I just got back from seeing POTC 3 and I...
GOT TO RANT, DAMMIT. >:E
Unneccessary. Is what like half of this movie was. I... just don't know what to make of it. I loved the first two movies, even DMC which got a lot of criticism, so I was really looking forward to this one and was utterly disappointed.
And I'm saying this as someone who is very easily pleased/amused and doesn't expect much from movies which are clearly not aimed to be the next Lars von Trier-opus.
If they are gearing up for a 4th part, then there ARE suspicious scenes that could be spun into a whole new plot, but IS there a 4th movie in the planning? Cause if not, this is major suck. And... And...
JAMES. ;_____________________;
Stupid, stupid, stupid way of handling his character, his death, everything. For god's sake, he's the one who sets the whole plot of the third movie in motion by stealing the heart! That's a promise of his character actually going somewhere and to be a more active part of the final battle. For me, there are four main characters in POTC. Norrington is part of the gang and his story should have been wrapped up according to that. Instead of this he's what, 10 minutes in the whole movie and gets stabbed by *Bootstrap* of all people? What the hell? WHY? Good, he saved Elizabeth but if they wanted to give him a really heroic death, couldn't they have killed him off in the Dutchman vs. Pearl battle??!
Beckett got a nicer death scene than he did. How can you look at Norrington and not think = GOING DOWN WITH THE SHIP?! HOW?
Though he got his kiss from Elizabeth, OMG, SO WELL-DESERVED. It broke my heart. That was enough to turn me into a James/Lizzie shipper. (Scary thought.) I must give the writers this much credit - if James had to die, at least he died by protecting the woman he loved and keeping his honor till the end. ♥
Still, they dragged him through dirt and heart-break through 3 movies and he didn't even get a mention from anyone.
And this was the point where I went --- "Okay, bored now." D:
(I won't even talk about my dear Sparrington ship, 'cause that got... beaten to death with a shovel, gunned down, sunk and left to rot in Davy Jones' locker - to use a fitting metaphor. Horrible. *cries*)
Other things that made me WTF:
1.) The plot is too contrieved. This is my major problem. I honestly wouldn't be able to retell what actually HAPPENED with all the backstabbing and new plot-threads and the sailing back and forth.
2.) NO CLEAR MOTIVES. In DMC the characters had personal motives. Here they are backstabbing each other for the sake of something (one-upping the East India Trading Company) that just isn't personal enough.
3.) NOT ENOUGH JACK. Jack and Johnny Depp MAKE these movies and he got buried under the abundance of new characters who got too much screen time.
4.) The slapstick during the action scenes and the supposedly "funny" gimmicks in general annoyed me. While it was refreshing and fitting in the first movie and even in the second for some extent, here it was cheesy and tiresome and so corny I almost cringed ("I lost my brain!"? WTF??!). Maybe it was the fault of the horrible Hungarian dub, but people, I don't want to hear Davy Jones making puns. EVER. Pintel and Ragetti got tedious! Where are their quirky lines? Where are the scenes you can remember with a snicker? The swashbuckling atmosphere? Even Jack has lost a good deal of his wit. Instead he gets trippy visions, which made me and my friend think: "wow, maybe we should try to watch this movie in the state the writers apparently were while writing it - high on weed!" Jeeeesus.
5.) What was the point of going to Singapore and Sao Feng's character if they killed him off at the end of the first half?!
6.) The whole Calypso thing. Plot hole, plot hole. Also Attack of the 50 feet Tia Dalma - NOT COOL. O_o
8.) THERE WAS TENTACLE RAPE. THERE ISN'T ENOUGH "DO NOT WANT" TO DESCRIBE THAT. DDD:
7.) Lizzie as the Pirate Queen, though I could see this coming. It was symbolic of her being the one who has the most pirate blood which I agree with.
I always try to dislike Elizabeth, yet I just can't, which is interesting 'cause she got half of the characters killed (at least once :D), but her and Will are just like say, TRC!Sakura and Shaoran. The destined couple forever, who won't be separated even in death and you just got to like them. And Elizabeth did get her - well deserved - punishment too, she has to wait eternally for the one she loves, only to see him once in ten years. Which is a finale very unlike a Disney movie but one I actually liked. It's the Davy Jones/Tia history repeating. A different ever after, very fitting to become a legend of the sea.
Saving points:
1.) Barbossa. Barbossa is almost Jack's stand-in here, he's witty, clever and generally awesome. The only part I laughed out loud was during his quarells with Jack. Their dynamic is the only saving grace of this movie.
2.) Davy Jones/Tia Dalma. I knew about it coming but it actually surprised me how much I liked it. I nearly cried. STFU. I hated seeing this one left pretty unresolved as well.
3.) Visuals and music. Both of them perfect, nothing to say here. The showdown between the Dutchman and the Pearl is ♥
4.) The fact that Will is stabbed by James' sword. That's a genius move. It's obviously karmic justice but also, all four of them are there in that moment. Will dying, with Lizzie embracing him and Jack holding his hand on James' sword piercing through Will's chest - there's a symbolism in there that makes me want to consider an OT4.
Plot I'd like to see for a hypothetical Pirates 4:
--> Jack armed with Lizzie finds the Fountain of Youth. Will as the new Dutchman captain retrieves James' soul floating at sea. Then there are sword fights, reunions, Sparrington snark, sailing off into sunsets and Barbossa. And the monkey.
Yes, I'm cranky now. I need fic or something.
GOT TO RANT, DAMMIT. >:E
Unneccessary. Is what like half of this movie was. I... just don't know what to make of it. I loved the first two movies, even DMC which got a lot of criticism, so I was really looking forward to this one and was utterly disappointed.
And I'm saying this as someone who is very easily pleased/amused and doesn't expect much from movies which are clearly not aimed to be the next Lars von Trier-opus.
If they are gearing up for a 4th part, then there ARE suspicious scenes that could be spun into a whole new plot, but IS there a 4th movie in the planning? Cause if not, this is major suck. And... And...
JAMES. ;_____________________;
Stupid, stupid, stupid way of handling his character, his death, everything. For god's sake, he's the one who sets the whole plot of the third movie in motion by stealing the heart! That's a promise of his character actually going somewhere and to be a more active part of the final battle. For me, there are four main characters in POTC. Norrington is part of the gang and his story should have been wrapped up according to that. Instead of this he's what, 10 minutes in the whole movie and gets stabbed by *Bootstrap* of all people? What the hell? WHY? Good, he saved Elizabeth but if they wanted to give him a really heroic death, couldn't they have killed him off in the Dutchman vs. Pearl battle??!
Beckett got a nicer death scene than he did. How can you look at Norrington and not think = GOING DOWN WITH THE SHIP?! HOW?
Though he got his kiss from Elizabeth, OMG, SO WELL-DESERVED. It broke my heart. That was enough to turn me into a James/Lizzie shipper. (Scary thought.) I must give the writers this much credit - if James had to die, at least he died by protecting the woman he loved and keeping his honor till the end. ♥
Still, they dragged him through dirt and heart-break through 3 movies and he didn't even get a mention from anyone.
And this was the point where I went --- "Okay, bored now." D:
(I won't even talk about my dear Sparrington ship, 'cause that got... beaten to death with a shovel, gunned down, sunk and left to rot in Davy Jones' locker - to use a fitting metaphor. Horrible. *cries*)
Other things that made me WTF:
1.) The plot is too contrieved. This is my major problem. I honestly wouldn't be able to retell what actually HAPPENED with all the backstabbing and new plot-threads and the sailing back and forth.
2.) NO CLEAR MOTIVES. In DMC the characters had personal motives. Here they are backstabbing each other for the sake of something (one-upping the East India Trading Company) that just isn't personal enough.
3.) NOT ENOUGH JACK. Jack and Johnny Depp MAKE these movies and he got buried under the abundance of new characters who got too much screen time.
4.) The slapstick during the action scenes and the supposedly "funny" gimmicks in general annoyed me. While it was refreshing and fitting in the first movie and even in the second for some extent, here it was cheesy and tiresome and so corny I almost cringed ("I lost my brain!"? WTF??!). Maybe it was the fault of the horrible Hungarian dub, but people, I don't want to hear Davy Jones making puns. EVER. Pintel and Ragetti got tedious! Where are their quirky lines? Where are the scenes you can remember with a snicker? The swashbuckling atmosphere? Even Jack has lost a good deal of his wit. Instead he gets trippy visions, which made me and my friend think: "wow, maybe we should try to watch this movie in the state the writers apparently were while writing it - high on weed!" Jeeeesus.
5.) What was the point of going to Singapore and Sao Feng's character if they killed him off at the end of the first half?!
6.) The whole Calypso thing. Plot hole, plot hole. Also Attack of the 50 feet Tia Dalma - NOT COOL. O_o
8.) THERE WAS TENTACLE RAPE. THERE ISN'T ENOUGH "DO NOT WANT" TO DESCRIBE THAT. DDD:
7.) Lizzie as the Pirate Queen, though I could see this coming. It was symbolic of her being the one who has the most pirate blood which I agree with.
I always try to dislike Elizabeth, yet I just can't, which is interesting 'cause she got half of the characters killed (at least once :D), but her and Will are just like say, TRC!Sakura and Shaoran. The destined couple forever, who won't be separated even in death and you just got to like them. And Elizabeth did get her - well deserved - punishment too, she has to wait eternally for the one she loves, only to see him once in ten years. Which is a finale very unlike a Disney movie but one I actually liked. It's the Davy Jones/Tia history repeating. A different ever after, very fitting to become a legend of the sea.
Saving points:
1.) Barbossa. Barbossa is almost Jack's stand-in here, he's witty, clever and generally awesome. The only part I laughed out loud was during his quarells with Jack. Their dynamic is the only saving grace of this movie.
2.) Davy Jones/Tia Dalma. I knew about it coming but it actually surprised me how much I liked it. I nearly cried. STFU. I hated seeing this one left pretty unresolved as well.
3.) Visuals and music. Both of them perfect, nothing to say here. The showdown between the Dutchman and the Pearl is ♥
4.) The fact that Will is stabbed by James' sword. That's a genius move. It's obviously karmic justice but also, all four of them are there in that moment. Will dying, with Lizzie embracing him and Jack holding his hand on James' sword piercing through Will's chest - there's a symbolism in there that makes me want to consider an OT4.
Plot I'd like to see for a hypothetical Pirates 4:
--> Jack armed with Lizzie finds the Fountain of Youth. Will as the new Dutchman captain retrieves James' soul floating at sea. Then there are sword fights, reunions, Sparrington snark, sailing off into sunsets and Barbossa. And the monkey.
Yes, I'm cranky now. I need fic or something.