grizzly adams DID have a beard.
so cal slang is annoying. i'm so AMPED. that was EPIC, dude. dude. that was bro, dude. i'm so stoked right now, broseph.
i think i know why i'm always tired. i've quit drinking soda for the past 3 1/2-4 years. and i think as humans, we've evolved into species that are becoming more relient on caffeine. soda, coffee, etc. 90% of adults start their day out with a nice cup of coffee to wake themselves up and get themselves through their long grueling day of work. i never drink coffee, and tend to only drink soda when i'm at a bar ordering captain with it. my diet isn't the best in the world, but it's far from the worst. i almost always skip breakfast, but i drink more water than any of you. but back to my point...yeah i'm always feeling tired. this leads me to believe that humans are not constantly evolving. well, we are, just not in a stronger sense. we're becoming very weak and dependant mammals. kids don't even run around outside anymore. they stay in and play Wii. i predict robots will be doing everything for us within the next few decades. brusing our teeth, combing our hair, jerking us off. trust.
do you ever think back to a time in life in which you were interested in someone, that person was interested back, and you two sort of started talking. something good was coming out of it, but for whatever reason, the two of you stopped talking. she slipped away, you slipped away, and nothing ever came from it. but now, looking back on it in retrospect, you feel it was a huge mistake...maybe even life changing. maybe you'd be in a different place in time right now? and now you feel like you'll never get that chance again?
i wouldn't be surprised if i met my perfect somebody, but just failed to give it enough attention. i'm not just saying this for myself, either. this goes for all of you single people reading this. you've probably met mr/mrs. perfect and didn't know, and never will. we need to open our eyes. i've been asleep for the past 3 years.
i wish i could hire someone to follow me around, take notes without interfering, and then at the end of each week offer me key advice. because standing in your own shoes, you often miss all kinds of things going on around you. people sometime need that third party perspective to catch things that go over our heads. it'd make life a little easier.
i wish once we have finished life, we can go back and switch up the roads we chose to embark on. make different decisions and live different versions of our life. that'd be something. we should at least get 3 chances. or maybe even just a second chance. furthermore, it'd be neat if heaven was one big movie theater. and when you show up, your life displays on the big screen and everyone watches it. there would definitely be a few scenes where i'd yell "psh, that's not even me."
when i was real little, my mom used to always ask me to spell BUSES. she asked me "does busses have one S or two?" and i remember i pretended like i wasn't interested in answering, because i didn't know the answer, so i non-chalantly walked to the garage, looked it up in the dictionary, and waited for her to ask again. and when she did, i played it off and said "it can have one or two S's." i don't know why i just thought of that. does that ever happen to you? do random childhood memories...well not always from your childhood...but do old memories ever sporatically pop in your head and sort of make you let out a small laugh? like a "heh". and if you're in the company of others, they start bugging you about what it is you're laughing about.
question: do you think people get married because they truly want to spend the rest of their lives together? or are they just getting hitched because they feel they need to. like it's the next step to their "normal" lives. graduate from school, get a job, start a serious relationship, move in together, get married, work, sit at home together and eat ice cream, repeat. i don't see myself getting married for AT LEAST another 6-7 years. and i don't think that's something girls want to hear.
i thought about purchasing a ringback tone. you know, those "please enjoy the music while your party is reached." i was THIS CLOSE to buying take off your clothes by morningwood. so when people call, all they hear is "when i see you baby, i just wanna take off your clothes, tear off your clothes, rip off your clothes." but then i was like...nah...that would suck if my work was trying to reach me or someone with some sort of authority.
oh shit. i stumbled upon some old pick-up lines i wrote like 6 years ago. haha. check these out.
-are you from heaven? cause i feel like watching angels in the outfield with you...here's my card. call me.
-are you an angel? cause i must be in pepperoni heaven, i see the two of us going out for pizza!
-are you australian? cause you sure look like it.
-do you like food? cause i know where we can get some, and i think you're cute.
-hey, are you a sports fanatic?! cause we should play a game of basketball and get to know each other a little better. i really don't know you all that well.
-did you piss off a drug lord? cause your face is on fire!
-do you like it when cute boys come up to you and start rhyming? cat, hat, bat, sat, fat.
-nice shoes...where'd ya get them?
-is that a mirror in your pocket? because i have this zit i wanna pop.
feel free to use any of these so long as you give credit to me. thanks.
i used to want to be a teacher. kids make me laugh more than all the ben stiller and adam sandler movies put together. for instance, true qutoes from my job:
i interviewed a 7 year old boy while at work, and these were his real answers.
would you rather be a hand or a finger?
-a finger, because you have more friends. a hand you only have one friend, and you don't see him that much.
would you rather be bad breathe or dirty hands?
-dirty hands, because i can just simply wash them.
-how can you wash them if you're just hands?
would you rather be a clock or a wrist watch?
-a wrist watch, because you get to travel!
would you rather be lucas or garrett?
-garrett, because he's my friend. even though i'm not his friend, he's my friend.
would you rather be dirty sheets or dirty diapers?
-dirty sheets, because you don't smell!
would you rather be the front teeth or the back?
-the back, because you can tell secrets. and the front tastes snot if the nose is runny.
would you rather be a mustache or a beard?
-a beard, because the mustache is close to the nose! boogers!
would you rather be a car or a boat?
-i wouldn't want to be a car, because cars aren't living things. i'll say boat.
would you rather be an ice cream man or an ice cream truck?
-ice cream truck, cause you get to play funny music.
see what i mean?
anyways. i think it's time the mainstream discovers a new rap artist. besides T.I, a lot of them are disappointing. they need to discover an extremely explicit rapper. like, puts 2 live crew and dj quik to shame. talks so dirty that you can't buy it in stores. you can only order it from the internet and then it's shipped overseas. but what makes this rapper different, you say? well, he doesn't always go full throttle. he's wreckless when it comes to rapping about most things, but is afraid to use SOME words. for example, "i'll fuck that bitch so hard till she's yelling my name, give her golden showers till her dying days, then i'll be like bitch suck my PEE-PEE. it'd be funny because he's not afraid to discuss golden showers, but at the same time doesn't even have the nerve to say cock.
random aim convo of the evening:
GetYaHoodzOn: Do you find it a turn on when a girl tells you to pull her hair?
then james said: eh
then james said: during sex?
GetYaHoodzOn: mmhm
then james said: probably.
then james said: anything during sex is most likely a turn on.
then james said: she can call me a shit head for all i care.
at any rate, this is far too long and i'm not expecting anyone to read all of this.
true love is _______?
-jem
i think i know why i'm always tired. i've quit drinking soda for the past 3 1/2-4 years. and i think as humans, we've evolved into species that are becoming more relient on caffeine. soda, coffee, etc. 90% of adults start their day out with a nice cup of coffee to wake themselves up and get themselves through their long grueling day of work. i never drink coffee, and tend to only drink soda when i'm at a bar ordering captain with it. my diet isn't the best in the world, but it's far from the worst. i almost always skip breakfast, but i drink more water than any of you. but back to my point...yeah i'm always feeling tired. this leads me to believe that humans are not constantly evolving. well, we are, just not in a stronger sense. we're becoming very weak and dependant mammals. kids don't even run around outside anymore. they stay in and play Wii. i predict robots will be doing everything for us within the next few decades. brusing our teeth, combing our hair, jerking us off. trust.
do you ever think back to a time in life in which you were interested in someone, that person was interested back, and you two sort of started talking. something good was coming out of it, but for whatever reason, the two of you stopped talking. she slipped away, you slipped away, and nothing ever came from it. but now, looking back on it in retrospect, you feel it was a huge mistake...maybe even life changing. maybe you'd be in a different place in time right now? and now you feel like you'll never get that chance again?
i wouldn't be surprised if i met my perfect somebody, but just failed to give it enough attention. i'm not just saying this for myself, either. this goes for all of you single people reading this. you've probably met mr/mrs. perfect and didn't know, and never will. we need to open our eyes. i've been asleep for the past 3 years.
i wish i could hire someone to follow me around, take notes without interfering, and then at the end of each week offer me key advice. because standing in your own shoes, you often miss all kinds of things going on around you. people sometime need that third party perspective to catch things that go over our heads. it'd make life a little easier.
i wish once we have finished life, we can go back and switch up the roads we chose to embark on. make different decisions and live different versions of our life. that'd be something. we should at least get 3 chances. or maybe even just a second chance. furthermore, it'd be neat if heaven was one big movie theater. and when you show up, your life displays on the big screen and everyone watches it. there would definitely be a few scenes where i'd yell "psh, that's not even me."
when i was real little, my mom used to always ask me to spell BUSES. she asked me "does busses have one S or two?" and i remember i pretended like i wasn't interested in answering, because i didn't know the answer, so i non-chalantly walked to the garage, looked it up in the dictionary, and waited for her to ask again. and when she did, i played it off and said "it can have one or two S's." i don't know why i just thought of that. does that ever happen to you? do random childhood memories...well not always from your childhood...but do old memories ever sporatically pop in your head and sort of make you let out a small laugh? like a "heh". and if you're in the company of others, they start bugging you about what it is you're laughing about.
question: do you think people get married because they truly want to spend the rest of their lives together? or are they just getting hitched because they feel they need to. like it's the next step to their "normal" lives. graduate from school, get a job, start a serious relationship, move in together, get married, work, sit at home together and eat ice cream, repeat. i don't see myself getting married for AT LEAST another 6-7 years. and i don't think that's something girls want to hear.
i thought about purchasing a ringback tone. you know, those "please enjoy the music while your party is reached." i was THIS CLOSE to buying take off your clothes by morningwood. so when people call, all they hear is "when i see you baby, i just wanna take off your clothes, tear off your clothes, rip off your clothes." but then i was like...nah...that would suck if my work was trying to reach me or someone with some sort of authority.
oh shit. i stumbled upon some old pick-up lines i wrote like 6 years ago. haha. check these out.
-are you from heaven? cause i feel like watching angels in the outfield with you...here's my card. call me.
-are you an angel? cause i must be in pepperoni heaven, i see the two of us going out for pizza!
-are you australian? cause you sure look like it.
-do you like food? cause i know where we can get some, and i think you're cute.
-hey, are you a sports fanatic?! cause we should play a game of basketball and get to know each other a little better. i really don't know you all that well.
-did you piss off a drug lord? cause your face is on fire!
-do you like it when cute boys come up to you and start rhyming? cat, hat, bat, sat, fat.
-nice shoes...where'd ya get them?
-is that a mirror in your pocket? because i have this zit i wanna pop.
feel free to use any of these so long as you give credit to me. thanks.
i used to want to be a teacher. kids make me laugh more than all the ben stiller and adam sandler movies put together. for instance, true qutoes from my job:
i interviewed a 7 year old boy while at work, and these were his real answers.
would you rather be a hand or a finger?
-a finger, because you have more friends. a hand you only have one friend, and you don't see him that much.
would you rather be bad breathe or dirty hands?
-dirty hands, because i can just simply wash them.
-how can you wash them if you're just hands?
would you rather be a clock or a wrist watch?
-a wrist watch, because you get to travel!
would you rather be lucas or garrett?
-garrett, because he's my friend. even though i'm not his friend, he's my friend.
would you rather be dirty sheets or dirty diapers?
-dirty sheets, because you don't smell!
would you rather be the front teeth or the back?
-the back, because you can tell secrets. and the front tastes snot if the nose is runny.
would you rather be a mustache or a beard?
-a beard, because the mustache is close to the nose! boogers!
would you rather be a car or a boat?
-i wouldn't want to be a car, because cars aren't living things. i'll say boat.
would you rather be an ice cream man or an ice cream truck?
-ice cream truck, cause you get to play funny music.
see what i mean?
anyways. i think it's time the mainstream discovers a new rap artist. besides T.I, a lot of them are disappointing. they need to discover an extremely explicit rapper. like, puts 2 live crew and dj quik to shame. talks so dirty that you can't buy it in stores. you can only order it from the internet and then it's shipped overseas. but what makes this rapper different, you say? well, he doesn't always go full throttle. he's wreckless when it comes to rapping about most things, but is afraid to use SOME words. for example, "i'll fuck that bitch so hard till she's yelling my name, give her golden showers till her dying days, then i'll be like bitch suck my PEE-PEE. it'd be funny because he's not afraid to discuss golden showers, but at the same time doesn't even have the nerve to say cock.
random aim convo of the evening:
GetYaHoodzOn: Do you find it a turn on when a girl tells you to pull her hair?
then james said: eh
then james said: during sex?
GetYaHoodzOn: mmhm
then james said: probably.
then james said: anything during sex is most likely a turn on.
then james said: she can call me a shit head for all i care.
at any rate, this is far too long and i'm not expecting anyone to read all of this.
true love is _______?
-jem