a change is gonna come.
cheers to another disappointing 4th of july. it's becoming a tradition. a tradition of shit. don't get me wrong, i love the idea of celebrating our independence day. flags up, fireworks, beer drinking, nice weather with food on the grill. but i've been having the worst luck each year. tonight i drove to dublin for a bbq, stayed for only about an hour and a half, drove back to tracy, drank a bunch of beer and ended up sitting on the grass at lincoln park only to watch the worse display of fireworks i've ever witnessed. EVER. you townies know exactly what i'm talking about.
last year for the 4th, i was drunk in Cathy's apartment while she hi-jacked my phone. the year before i was sitting in front of jerry's house listening to two people debate over what kind of super powers they wish they had.
the only reason why i'm not completely distraught over the events that took place this evening is because erin said we'd celebrate an 8th of july at her house, which i'm honestly looking forward to. that and i'm getting paid to go to great america tomorrow. so it's whatever. moving on...
my friend threw a party the other night and a bunch of meathead girls showed up. heck of make up on. like if i scraped their cheek, it would curl underneath my fingernail. so they showed up and started complaining about the music. i had on like uffie or lcd soundsystem and they said "take out this techno shit." so naturally, they put in mainstream club rap and all was well. they did their pop, lock and drop it. not that i have anything really against club rap, but it was fucking rude. and while we're on the subject, i'm basically letting any girl that's reading this know that terrible taste in music is a huge turn off and it tells me a lot about their personality. i've reached a level of respect for music years ago that lets me appreciate all kinds. if i walked into some party and fergie was playing, i'd be able to bob my head to it and not complain. meathead girls are retarded.
people that post an insane amount of bulletins displaying personal conversation between them and another person are ridiculous in my book. and i'm not just saying that. i'm really writing a book. "hey nick, thanks for the ham-sandwich earlier...it was delish."
"anytime, samantha."
i want to go to Vegas soon with all my boys. after all, "what happens in vegas, stays in vegas." that gets people wild. i'm going to start saying that about everything. "what happens in the closet of this party...stays in the closet of this party." oh really? clothes go a flying.
girls. quick question:
would you ever marry a man with a screwed up last name? or would you avoid falling in love with them altogether?
let's say you meet a strapping young lad with the last name "boobie" or "gunk". is that considered a turn off? does it flash a red light in your head? or am i being completely retarded right now? mrs. alyssa gunk.
jennifer boobie.
i hate when people say they miss the old james. i don't know how to be my former self. besides, i'd have a hard time fitting into my old clothes.
but seriously. people tend to change over the years whether they like it or not. some change for the better, some for the worse. i'd like to think that i'm a better person now, but i know it's not true. but still, i sometimes give bums in the city my spare change. and that single reason alone let's me know that i'm not a terrible person. and if a stray cat wanders over to my side, i'll kneel down and pet it. how cute, right?
the axe body spray compaign is genius. those commercials they show...you know the ones. skinny geeky boy sprays himself with some axe, and perfect 10 girls are ripping each others clothes off. if i was a confused and naive sophomore in high school, i might believe a body spray can turn the opposite sex onto me and i'd probably buy a box of that shit. i bet high schools hallways across america reek of axe body spray stench.high school kids are impressionable like that. they'll believe anything. i can tell one that they found real life evidence proving the existance of santa claus. pieces of his slay buried along with reindeer skeletons. they'd believe me. i told jaratt that once, and he believed me. i said they found santa's skull with his christmas hat still intact. haha.
note to self: jaratt still owes me money. don't let him weasel his way out of it.
wild n' out is the worst show ever. and nick cannon's voice is annoying. "that's how we do...doin' it big"
the white guy on that show is annoying, too. "hey nick...hey nick...hey nick...hey nick."
people should NEVER get depressed over failed relationships. i know it's easier said than done. but there's so many fishies out there swimming around, it should make jumping back on the saddle easy. besides, the challenge of starting a new relationship is MUCH MORE fun than maintaining an old one. agreed?
if you disagree with me entirely, how about i propose this solution....i'll make it easy on you girls. if your relationship crashes and burns...for whatever reason...i'll be the alovera to your sunburn. your temporary safety net to catch your fall. you can come to me, we can get ice cream together and talk on the phone. you know, just for a temporary fix until you meet mr. right again. that way, you're never lonely. there's never any downtime. and by the time i get bored of you, you're on to somebody else. we both win!
the other day i saw a mechanical quarter-machine horse outside of a grocery mart. two things crossed my mind. a.) i didn't know those things still existed. i thought they pulled them out of the ground years ago.
b.) a small boy is actually putting it to use right now.
i'm not kidding. there was a boy on this piece of shit quarter horse that was invented back in the 60's probably. just moving back and forth. making a loud screeching noise. and he was enjoying it. aren't playstations fairly easy to attain? i thought kids play with those, not quarter machine horses.
test your reflex is seriously the next big thing. i'm telling you now. get their album at best buy.
i saw a commercial for Eons the other day. some sort of supplement for longevity. and he said "let's try to make it till 100 or die trying." no, i was planning on shooting myself at 95.
i think the fda is not protecting us U.S citizens. they're protecting the profit made off of drug companies. and that is why we'll never release all of the cures we have. i'm convinced we had a cure for h.i.v the year we were introduced to it, but they're making a killing providing the consumer with placebos. i'm convinced we have a shot babies can take at birth that will shut out any chances of them developing acne later in life. but proactive bought it out and kept it locked in a vault. this is extremely selfish, because adolescents from across the globe can potentially be saved from years of ridicule and embarassement from barking jocks and fake n' bake paris hilton wanna be's.
i think it's annoying when i rock sungalsses out at night and people approach me all concenred.
"why are you wearing sunglasses if the sun isn't up?"
"take off your shades, i wanna see your eyes."
"do you think you're cool or something?"
i like the way sunglasses look on me. besides, does anyone question
p diddy or johnny knoxville? let me go ahead and say what you're going to say.
"well, you're not them."
i never question girls that feel the need to hang little chandalears from their navels. i must've missed something when that became trendy. just like how pink is the new black. just like how jaratt said 17 is the new 18.
anyone ever see that movie 40 days and 40 nights with josh hartnett? where he gives up sex for lent. they protray his character as a pale and sickly fatigue guy, very shakey, and appears to be a few minutes from his death bed. like he's dying from starvation. it's like the writer is conveying that sex is whats keeping the human race sane and stable. without it, we'd be running around looking like a bunch of holocaust victims. go have sex people. it gives your skin color.
fuck it. i'm ending this.
goodnight shitheads,
-jem
last year for the 4th, i was drunk in Cathy's apartment while she hi-jacked my phone. the year before i was sitting in front of jerry's house listening to two people debate over what kind of super powers they wish they had.
the only reason why i'm not completely distraught over the events that took place this evening is because erin said we'd celebrate an 8th of july at her house, which i'm honestly looking forward to. that and i'm getting paid to go to great america tomorrow. so it's whatever. moving on...
my friend threw a party the other night and a bunch of meathead girls showed up. heck of make up on. like if i scraped their cheek, it would curl underneath my fingernail. so they showed up and started complaining about the music. i had on like uffie or lcd soundsystem and they said "take out this techno shit." so naturally, they put in mainstream club rap and all was well. they did their pop, lock and drop it. not that i have anything really against club rap, but it was fucking rude. and while we're on the subject, i'm basically letting any girl that's reading this know that terrible taste in music is a huge turn off and it tells me a lot about their personality. i've reached a level of respect for music years ago that lets me appreciate all kinds. if i walked into some party and fergie was playing, i'd be able to bob my head to it and not complain. meathead girls are retarded.
people that post an insane amount of bulletins displaying personal conversation between them and another person are ridiculous in my book. and i'm not just saying that. i'm really writing a book. "hey nick, thanks for the ham-sandwich earlier...it was delish."
"anytime, samantha."
i want to go to Vegas soon with all my boys. after all, "what happens in vegas, stays in vegas." that gets people wild. i'm going to start saying that about everything. "what happens in the closet of this party...stays in the closet of this party." oh really? clothes go a flying.
girls. quick question:
would you ever marry a man with a screwed up last name? or would you avoid falling in love with them altogether?
let's say you meet a strapping young lad with the last name "boobie" or "gunk". is that considered a turn off? does it flash a red light in your head? or am i being completely retarded right now? mrs. alyssa gunk.
jennifer boobie.
i hate when people say they miss the old james. i don't know how to be my former self. besides, i'd have a hard time fitting into my old clothes.
but seriously. people tend to change over the years whether they like it or not. some change for the better, some for the worse. i'd like to think that i'm a better person now, but i know it's not true. but still, i sometimes give bums in the city my spare change. and that single reason alone let's me know that i'm not a terrible person. and if a stray cat wanders over to my side, i'll kneel down and pet it. how cute, right?
the axe body spray compaign is genius. those commercials they show...you know the ones. skinny geeky boy sprays himself with some axe, and perfect 10 girls are ripping each others clothes off. if i was a confused and naive sophomore in high school, i might believe a body spray can turn the opposite sex onto me and i'd probably buy a box of that shit. i bet high schools hallways across america reek of axe body spray stench.high school kids are impressionable like that. they'll believe anything. i can tell one that they found real life evidence proving the existance of santa claus. pieces of his slay buried along with reindeer skeletons. they'd believe me. i told jaratt that once, and he believed me. i said they found santa's skull with his christmas hat still intact. haha.
note to self: jaratt still owes me money. don't let him weasel his way out of it.
wild n' out is the worst show ever. and nick cannon's voice is annoying. "that's how we do...doin' it big"
the white guy on that show is annoying, too. "hey nick...hey nick...hey nick...hey nick."
people should NEVER get depressed over failed relationships. i know it's easier said than done. but there's so many fishies out there swimming around, it should make jumping back on the saddle easy. besides, the challenge of starting a new relationship is MUCH MORE fun than maintaining an old one. agreed?
if you disagree with me entirely, how about i propose this solution....i'll make it easy on you girls. if your relationship crashes and burns...for whatever reason...i'll be the alovera to your sunburn. your temporary safety net to catch your fall. you can come to me, we can get ice cream together and talk on the phone. you know, just for a temporary fix until you meet mr. right again. that way, you're never lonely. there's never any downtime. and by the time i get bored of you, you're on to somebody else. we both win!
the other day i saw a mechanical quarter-machine horse outside of a grocery mart. two things crossed my mind. a.) i didn't know those things still existed. i thought they pulled them out of the ground years ago.
b.) a small boy is actually putting it to use right now.
i'm not kidding. there was a boy on this piece of shit quarter horse that was invented back in the 60's probably. just moving back and forth. making a loud screeching noise. and he was enjoying it. aren't playstations fairly easy to attain? i thought kids play with those, not quarter machine horses.
test your reflex is seriously the next big thing. i'm telling you now. get their album at best buy.
i saw a commercial for Eons the other day. some sort of supplement for longevity. and he said "let's try to make it till 100 or die trying." no, i was planning on shooting myself at 95.
i think the fda is not protecting us U.S citizens. they're protecting the profit made off of drug companies. and that is why we'll never release all of the cures we have. i'm convinced we had a cure for h.i.v the year we were introduced to it, but they're making a killing providing the consumer with placebos. i'm convinced we have a shot babies can take at birth that will shut out any chances of them developing acne later in life. but proactive bought it out and kept it locked in a vault. this is extremely selfish, because adolescents from across the globe can potentially be saved from years of ridicule and embarassement from barking jocks and fake n' bake paris hilton wanna be's.
i think it's annoying when i rock sungalsses out at night and people approach me all concenred.
"why are you wearing sunglasses if the sun isn't up?"
"take off your shades, i wanna see your eyes."
"do you think you're cool or something?"
i like the way sunglasses look on me. besides, does anyone question
p diddy or johnny knoxville? let me go ahead and say what you're going to say.
"well, you're not them."
i never question girls that feel the need to hang little chandalears from their navels. i must've missed something when that became trendy. just like how pink is the new black. just like how jaratt said 17 is the new 18.
anyone ever see that movie 40 days and 40 nights with josh hartnett? where he gives up sex for lent. they protray his character as a pale and sickly fatigue guy, very shakey, and appears to be a few minutes from his death bed. like he's dying from starvation. it's like the writer is conveying that sex is whats keeping the human race sane and stable. without it, we'd be running around looking like a bunch of holocaust victims. go have sex people. it gives your skin color.
fuck it. i'm ending this.
goodnight shitheads,
-jem