hellofalotta shit
i feel like i just want to stop time, so i can go away and hide in some dark and distant corner somewhere, without anything bad happening while i'm gone. i feel like my life is falling apart. or rather, everyone in it is. and i dopnt know what to do. why is it that the people i need are oblivious to me, but the people who i would rather avoid are constantly battling for every last shred of my attention/caring. i'm about ready to say i really dont care, and just give up on all these people. but i cant do that, thats not me. i dont think.......i dont even know anymore. i just feel really drained. and sortof used. and sortof stalked. and mostly just incredibly irritated. and im still really afraid. like theres no room lefty for anything but anger and fear. i dont like that. fuck this shit. how the hell am i supposed to fix my life when all these other people seem to think I'm a fucking psychiatrist. IM NOT!!!!! there are a few poeple in this world who really are wotrth my time. the rest opf them just bneed to fuck off and find a therapist, cause I CAN NOT BE RESPONSIBLE FOR ONE SINGLE OTHER PERSON'S LIFE. I AM SO FUCKING SICK OF BEING USED AS A GOD DAMN SUICIDE HOTLINE. I'M TRYING TO FIX MYSELF, AND THESE PEOPLE REALLY ARE NOT HELPING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! truthfully, i couldn't give a fuck less if some ex of mine wants to go off and get herslef drunk every night, or if her best friend is dating her worst enemy, or if her little brother keeps beating her up, or how fucking many new psycological problems she's being madicated for this week. ITS NOT MY PROBLEM ANYMORE, I CAN NOT HANDLE PEOPLE LIKE THAT ANYMORE, THATS WHY WE BROKE UP. FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i really just need to yell. or break something......or something................fuck people and there self pity. i'm sorry if thier overinflated ego prevents them from seeing that they're not the only asshast in the world who has problems, or that thier problems are fucking insignifigant at a fish fart, in the grand sceme of things. *screams* ok. i've had my ranting. FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK. that helped a little..