what day is it
well, i did the week 1 day #2 workout for my training program. this time i did a half an hour workout and did one running segment of 90 seconds (the very last one actually) just to see how i'd like it. it was very doable. when i run, the fronts of my legs (down near the shin) tighten up like crazy, but i don't know how to stretch that. i'll have to look that up.
i'm planning on running the 5k in the end of march or beginning of april. i'm excited. i really want to stick with this. i want to have endurance and be strong and active. i want to feel good.
today was alright. i went to my first OA meeting and, i have to say, i was a little disappointed. there were only 3 other people and 2 of them were mother and son. i'm used to the giant meetings in AA rooms like down in Miami. and it was really disconcerting to be on the SHARING side of a meeting instead of the sitting and listening side (like when i was a kid).
part of me resents the idea of food as addiction, part of me thinks abstaining forever is impossible, part of me thinks that God (as i understand him) does not grant favors or miracles to me while killing millions of starving/sick/poverty stricken people elsewhere who are asking for his aid just as earnestly as i possibly could.. more so, even. i'm sure their requests for food, medicine, or water must outweigh my request for "um plz no binge, k?" i don't see how my dad thinks that "the universe lines up" when he does "God's will." but then i feel a lot of guilt for responding that way because my dad's sobriety is in the top 10 things EVER, in my life. (#1 being buffy the vampire slayer, ha.)
so i've been going into OA chatrooms since that real meeting was so empty. i'm going to try another real meeting on saturday morning because it should (supposedly) have 15-20 people in it.
umm so. that's about it emotionally. .... and... I FINALLY HAD SEX TODAY, ahhh. i left my shirt on, though. i hope alex just thought that was in the moment and not a self-conscious feeling bad thing.
here's my food:
breakfast:
2 organic vegan frozen waffles
sugar free syrup
(3-5)
mid-morning:
soy latte with sugar free mocha syrup
(4-5)
lunch:
2 gardenburgers (no bread)
5 onion rings (baked)
1 cup frosted cheerios
(2-6)
snack:
1 piece rye bread
plum
(3-4)
dinner:
miso soup
order of edemame
1 avocado roll (rice on outside, avocado draped over)
(3-8 ---- but i had a BUNCH of green tea and water responsible for stuffed feelings)
after dinner (dessert?):
1 cup cookie crisp cereal
(4-5)
currently at a 3 in hunger. i don't know how this works. when i diet (or in general) i don't let myself eat this late. i guess i'm not going to eat right now, there's nothing i want anyway.
i'm planning on running the 5k in the end of march or beginning of april. i'm excited. i really want to stick with this. i want to have endurance and be strong and active. i want to feel good.
today was alright. i went to my first OA meeting and, i have to say, i was a little disappointed. there were only 3 other people and 2 of them were mother and son. i'm used to the giant meetings in AA rooms like down in Miami. and it was really disconcerting to be on the SHARING side of a meeting instead of the sitting and listening side (like when i was a kid).
part of me resents the idea of food as addiction, part of me thinks abstaining forever is impossible, part of me thinks that God (as i understand him) does not grant favors or miracles to me while killing millions of starving/sick/poverty stricken people elsewhere who are asking for his aid just as earnestly as i possibly could.. more so, even. i'm sure their requests for food, medicine, or water must outweigh my request for "um plz no binge, k?" i don't see how my dad thinks that "the universe lines up" when he does "God's will." but then i feel a lot of guilt for responding that way because my dad's sobriety is in the top 10 things EVER, in my life. (#1 being buffy the vampire slayer, ha.)
so i've been going into OA chatrooms since that real meeting was so empty. i'm going to try another real meeting on saturday morning because it should (supposedly) have 15-20 people in it.
umm so. that's about it emotionally. .... and... I FINALLY HAD SEX TODAY, ahhh. i left my shirt on, though. i hope alex just thought that was in the moment and not a self-conscious feeling bad thing.
here's my food:
breakfast:
2 organic vegan frozen waffles
sugar free syrup
(3-5)
mid-morning:
soy latte with sugar free mocha syrup
(4-5)
lunch:
2 gardenburgers (no bread)
5 onion rings (baked)
1 cup frosted cheerios
(2-6)
snack:
1 piece rye bread
plum
(3-4)
dinner:
miso soup
order of edemame
1 avocado roll (rice on outside, avocado draped over)
(3-8 ---- but i had a BUNCH of green tea and water responsible for stuffed feelings)
after dinner (dessert?):
1 cup cookie crisp cereal
(4-5)
currently at a 3 in hunger. i don't know how this works. when i diet (or in general) i don't let myself eat this late. i guess i'm not going to eat right now, there's nothing i want anyway.