just some thoughts....
So things have been very different as of late. I can feel the drama of summer coming into effect. And I've had my fair share of it already. Sometimes i really wish i had someone to completely open up to. And really, there prolly never will be someone like that ever. The only person i could ever do that with was my father. but now it's past year five without him and im barely holding onto the ledge. I dont even have a father figure in my life. but i guess that's the way life goes. I'm knee deep in shit and starting to fall. But i know my dad loves me and thats reason enough to pull myself up every time im down. as long as im here and alive without him, everything i may accomplish is for him. he may have not been there to see it in person, but i know he sees it from lookin over me or something like that.
but even though i don't have a father figure type, at least i have an older brother type. Adam is serioulsy the older brother ive never had. and it's really great. because, i always have to be the one who people come to because they know that ill listen to them and not judge them and give rational advice about anything. and thats great that i have that kind of gift, but things that i think about dont just disappear just because i listen to what everyone else thinks about. but i guess thats why im more of an observer. you learn alot about people and the way things go just by listening and looking. but that's just one side of me. i can be pretty much anything. the outgoing one, the shy one, the quiet one, the cute one, and whatever else.
you would think, as much shit that i have been through with girls from being pushed and pulled around, that i would actually learn something from it. well i take that back, i have learned alot from many different experiences. ive matured in a sense about it and all that. but i'll tell you what, you never know what to expect in any case. because once you start to do that, that's when it turns around in your face and just does a 180. so i guess the only advice i can give about that is, do whatever you feel is right. say whatever you feel you should. and do it all as much as possible. because you only live once, might as well make the best of it and make it fun. lately ive been having a re-accurance of feelings for someone, just from seeing more of her in the last couple weeks. and i thought i was completely over her. looks like i guessed wrong.
i can honestly say that ive been in love twice. ive only actually said it to one person, and any time ive said it i was slightly drunk. but the truth comes out with alcohol, for the most part. at least, it's easier to say things when you're drunk. but that works in a good way and also in a bad way. thats life though, gotta take the good with the bad. if everything was always good then you would never learn anything, you would just expect everyting to fall into place. and in any case, it doesnt. you have to work for it and make it happen for yourself. dont just expect it to happen.
these last few years living in fraser ive learned alot. after my father's death it was like i was forced to mature at an earlier age. but it's been fine, im still alive. im still happy that i have all the people that are in my life. day by day is the way to live, because if you cant finish today then how do you think you will tomorrow. so live for the day, not for tomorrow. and never forget where you come from, never let someone make you feel like less of a person. because if they try that, it just makes them the one whos less than you. fuck 'em.
sorry for the ranting...
feel free to comment...
-Mike-
but even though i don't have a father figure type, at least i have an older brother type. Adam is serioulsy the older brother ive never had. and it's really great. because, i always have to be the one who people come to because they know that ill listen to them and not judge them and give rational advice about anything. and thats great that i have that kind of gift, but things that i think about dont just disappear just because i listen to what everyone else thinks about. but i guess thats why im more of an observer. you learn alot about people and the way things go just by listening and looking. but that's just one side of me. i can be pretty much anything. the outgoing one, the shy one, the quiet one, the cute one, and whatever else.
you would think, as much shit that i have been through with girls from being pushed and pulled around, that i would actually learn something from it. well i take that back, i have learned alot from many different experiences. ive matured in a sense about it and all that. but i'll tell you what, you never know what to expect in any case. because once you start to do that, that's when it turns around in your face and just does a 180. so i guess the only advice i can give about that is, do whatever you feel is right. say whatever you feel you should. and do it all as much as possible. because you only live once, might as well make the best of it and make it fun. lately ive been having a re-accurance of feelings for someone, just from seeing more of her in the last couple weeks. and i thought i was completely over her. looks like i guessed wrong.
i can honestly say that ive been in love twice. ive only actually said it to one person, and any time ive said it i was slightly drunk. but the truth comes out with alcohol, for the most part. at least, it's easier to say things when you're drunk. but that works in a good way and also in a bad way. thats life though, gotta take the good with the bad. if everything was always good then you would never learn anything, you would just expect everyting to fall into place. and in any case, it doesnt. you have to work for it and make it happen for yourself. dont just expect it to happen.
these last few years living in fraser ive learned alot. after my father's death it was like i was forced to mature at an earlier age. but it's been fine, im still alive. im still happy that i have all the people that are in my life. day by day is the way to live, because if you cant finish today then how do you think you will tomorrow. so live for the day, not for tomorrow. and never forget where you come from, never let someone make you feel like less of a person. because if they try that, it just makes them the one whos less than you. fuck 'em.
sorry for the ranting...
feel free to comment...
-Mike-