My heart is on my sleeve...
so I should update...
the other night I met this awesome kid named tom. He was playing the guitar at this party that I was at, and it was so amazing. So I asked him if he writes any of his stuff, since he was only jammin out. And he said he tries to, but he can’t express words to them. Then we were talking about him jammin out with Adam and I. so I think we are going to do that someday soon. I'll have to tell Adam about it. Since I forgot to tell him today, but he's been busy working at the hill. But at least he's making some fat cash. That’s always good.
so father's day just passed, and that kind of sucked for me since my dad isn’t here. And also because of the fact that my stepfather isn’t really a father figure to me as it is. We just don’t get along. He doesn’t like me and I don’t really care for him. I mean, I'm civil to him and all, he’s just a very close-minded person and I don’t get along with his personality. So father's day was kind of a downer for me. But I hope everyone else that was able to celebrate it at least had a good time. You should cherish the moments you share with your parents. Because you never know when that could end. As much as my mom always gives me a hard time about practically anything, I still love her. Because just knowing that she’s always on my back, shows that she cares about me. And that’s a great thing to know. They might not show it in the best of ways all the time. But you know they care. And that’s a good thing to have. So never forget about that...
this past week has been nothing but a huge party for me. Lisa's parents were in Florida for the whole week and a bunch of us hung out there all week. That was a lot of fun. We all drank and got messed up. Watched some good movies. I actually saw "requiem for a dream" this week. That movie is pretty intense and amazing at the same time. Plus, the camera effects were really kool in it. I always like those kool visual effects. Which reminds me, I can’t wait for Wednesday when Spiderman 2 comes out. That is going to be so sweet.
I saw another great movie last Friday night. It was the new documentary from Michael Moore. "Fahrenheit 9/11". It's such a great movie, and just points out all of the corrupt shit in the bush administration. And it really tells you things that a normal American really wouldn’t know, or at least wouldn’t have the patience to pay attention to or put together. That movie really took a lot of research on his part and his staff. But it's a movie that really makes you think about how shit can go down as being a young adult. So regardless if you are democrat or republican, it's an impacting movie. You might not like it as much if you are a republican, but as a young adult you should really worry about what is going on in the country. Rather than not caring, and not voting and whatnot. But whatever, its all good.
things in the whole drama of summer prospective are just twisting and turning. Who knows, maybe I'll be able to write another movie with this summer as well. Cause I can surely write one about last summer. Hell, not even just last summer, the whole last year of my life. I could write an entire chick flick about 2003. Leading right into the end of December. But I think I would change the ending of the movie and make it a good one. Rather than a let down, which is what it really was. But it’s okay, that’s the way life goes. You live and you learn, and you mature and grow more balls about situations. This is the prime of your life when you are experiencing new situations pertaining to girls/guys. I mean, granted you learn some things in HS, but HS is such bullshit. I've learned more about those types of situations after HS then I ever did in HS. Because back in HS I just didn’t really do much about it, it was that or I was just stupified about it and just wound up ignoring it anyhow. And it was easier that way. That’s probably why it took me all of FHS to tell one girl how I felt about her, and that just turned into being a huge let down. I have to start taking larger risks, and not doing stupid shit like that. And I have, I learned my lesson and I’ve grown about it and matured about it. And I’m happy I did.
But yea, the whole L word thing, or being in L, yea that’s a crazy thing. I’ve seen it do some messed up things to my friends. You can honestly do the dumbest shit when you experience it for yourself. Dave would be the most prime example. He was such a crazy guy in HS. And even after it. He still is to this day, but never as bad as he was. That can either make you or break you. And I’ve seen it do both. And the whole breaking thing is not fun to see. There had been times where Dave had to talk to me and it would be such an emotional rush that he would cry, and that's just so crazy when an emotion like that does that to you. I can honestly say I’ve done it myself. But you live. It’s something you have to do. Whether it's beer tears or sober, whatever. It will all happen before you die.
But it is so much easier when you are drunk to express feelings towards someone rather than being sober. We all know that. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. Just a matter of finding out. And you never know until you know.
I’ve learned quite a bit just from observing and listening to people. But I’m trying to get into the whole expressing yourself thing to more people. It’s pretty easy for me to sit down with one person and have a great talk. But when there’s a lot of ppl I just tend to be the more quite one. But sometimes I’m the crazy one, or the funny one. Whatever, I guess it depends on the day and how I feel. But that’s why I love writing so much, because once I get going; I don’t know when to stop. Because it just helps me to deal with situations and express myself as much as I can. And if someone wants to read it, then they can. My problem is that I write too much, and no one ends up reading it because it looks like a god damn novel or something...lol but it's all good. I guess that’s why it makes me a better listener rather than a talker. Cause sometimes I just feel stupid when I’m trying to express myself or whatever. So I just listen. And it gives me a good ear, and people are comfortable with telling me shit. So that makes me feel good. I would love to have the patience to go through 8 or more years of schooling and become a psychologist, but I don’t think id ever make it through. I'd die trying...lol. But I love music way too much to even put all of my focus on something that is just an interest and makes me for who I am. I don’t need to go to school to get a piece of paper that says I’m a good listener. Because I know that I already am. I would rather further myself into something that I would like to know the most about and something that I have a passion for. And that’s what music is to me.
the easiest thing is the world is doing a drunken confession. But the worst thing in the world is being that person on the other line. Because you never know if that person is just spitting BS to you, or honestly being truthful to you. and then half the time nothing comes of it the next day anyhow, and you end up not talking about it again, or at least time that person or yourself is in that state of mind. So I advise everyone to bring up drunken confessions the next day after you are sober enough to comprehend and not hung-over...lol. Or if you were the sober one, then just bring it up the next day. Who knows what you’ll get out of it. Or maybe you’ll get the classic line, "I don’t remember saying any of that." that line is such textbook it’s hilarious. I know everything that I am saying to someone and I will remember all of it. Now the fact that I am drunk just eases the whole filter thing away in your brain, so ill say it with no ease. But I know what I’m saying, I just don’t think about it. But when you’re sober, you think about it.
anyhow, it is now 4 in the morning and I am at Dave's house and extremely bored. His rents aren’t here and Dave is passed out and I’m here by myself, so that’s why I decided to rant in my LJ. Since I haven’t in a while. Who knows, maybe ill get some comments. But it's probably way too long to read, and most people don’t have that kind of patience...lol
good night
feel free to comment...
-Mike-
aka -Meeeeeek-....haha
"Does it comfort you to know you fought the good fight?
Basking in your victory, hollow and alone.
When you boast you're bitter bragging rights to anyone who'll listen
While you're left with nothing tangible to gain."