[mind-the-muse] oh momma i'm in fear for my life from the long arm of the law
If you realize that all things change, there is nothing you will try to hold on to. If you aren't afraid of dying, there is nothing you can't achieve.
- Tao Te Ching
See, Sammy gave me this like book about Zen or something. I think it was probably Ruby's idea. It's suppose to help me deal with dying and all that stupid shit. With the moments at my heals. I read it while I listen to Robert Johnson's "Hellhounds at my Heals" and the like. Sammy get's annoyed but personally I think it's pretty appropriate. I don't get away with that kind of thing with Jo though, she hits me more often than not. I swear I'm going to have a permenant impression of her fist in my jaw. At least I'll have something in hell to remember her by. Besides the tattoo but we're not gonna go there at the moment. I let a woman brand me let's just keep it at that.
All things change, that I can get behind. Things do change but they also stay the damn same if you ask me. If all things change though why wouldn't you want to hold onto stuff. To like, stop the damn change. I don't like it.
Here's the thing. Maybe I'm not afraid of death so much. I don't particularly want to die but that has more to do with wanting to protect the people I love. Sure there's some fear there. Okay a lot of fear there. I don't want to die; effing sue me. The point is, my real fear is where I'm going. The pain, agony, torture and all that could really affect me less. I don't care. I'd go through all that to keep Sammy safe and Jo too. I'd do it for Dad too if I could; if I had the opportunity. It's what I'm gonna become that's got me the worst. Ruby didn't have to tell me you know. Figure she just wanted to make me suffer some, make it that much harder for me to accept. So I had one more thing to keep from Sammy before I died. I told Jo though, cause I couldn't tell Bobby and I could talk to Dad but he don't really talk back. So one day I'm gonna be a demon. It could be in a hundred years, less, she didn't really give me a time frame. I just hope Sammy's not the one who has to do. I hope he's had a long full life with lots of kids and really awesome sex (preferably not with my girl or the demon bitch) but yeah. I don't want Sammy to ever have to look into my face and see black eyes. That's my worst fear I guess.
So those Zen bitches can kiss my ass. To err is human right? Fear is a part of us, so is desire and without all that how are we really human anyway? Screw the Bhuddist's. Unless Bhudda can get me outta this deal he can kiss my ass before I rub his belly, got me?
Muse | Dean Winchester
Fandom | Supernatural
Word Count | 526
- Tao Te Ching
See, Sammy gave me this like book about Zen or something. I think it was probably Ruby's idea. It's suppose to help me deal with dying and all that stupid shit. With the moments at my heals. I read it while I listen to Robert Johnson's "Hellhounds at my Heals" and the like. Sammy get's annoyed but personally I think it's pretty appropriate. I don't get away with that kind of thing with Jo though, she hits me more often than not. I swear I'm going to have a permenant impression of her fist in my jaw. At least I'll have something in hell to remember her by. Besides the tattoo but we're not gonna go there at the moment. I let a woman brand me let's just keep it at that.
All things change, that I can get behind. Things do change but they also stay the damn same if you ask me. If all things change though why wouldn't you want to hold onto stuff. To like, stop the damn change. I don't like it.
Here's the thing. Maybe I'm not afraid of death so much. I don't particularly want to die but that has more to do with wanting to protect the people I love. Sure there's some fear there. Okay a lot of fear there. I don't want to die; effing sue me. The point is, my real fear is where I'm going. The pain, agony, torture and all that could really affect me less. I don't care. I'd go through all that to keep Sammy safe and Jo too. I'd do it for Dad too if I could; if I had the opportunity. It's what I'm gonna become that's got me the worst. Ruby didn't have to tell me you know. Figure she just wanted to make me suffer some, make it that much harder for me to accept. So I had one more thing to keep from Sammy before I died. I told Jo though, cause I couldn't tell Bobby and I could talk to Dad but he don't really talk back. So one day I'm gonna be a demon. It could be in a hundred years, less, she didn't really give me a time frame. I just hope Sammy's not the one who has to do. I hope he's had a long full life with lots of kids and really awesome sex (preferably not with my girl or the demon bitch) but yeah. I don't want Sammy to ever have to look into my face and see black eyes. That's my worst fear I guess.
So those Zen bitches can kiss my ass. To err is human right? Fear is a part of us, so is desire and without all that how are we really human anyway? Screw the Bhuddist's. Unless Bhudda can get me outta this deal he can kiss my ass before I rub his belly, got me?
Muse | Dean Winchester
Fandom | Supernatural
Word Count | 526