DON'T PANIC, EVERYBODY!
I have a perfect solution to all of the problems caused by last week.

I hereby declare all events that transpired between the dates of August 15th and August 19th to be:
NON-CANON

There. Wasn't that easy? Now we don't need to worry about being held responsible for our actions, however disturbing they may have been!

Aha. A student, eh?
A ridiculously idealistic student, and a student who kept foiling my attempts to die, but still a student! So I was a teacher before I came here, too!

I must redouble my efforts, to make sure that none of my current students can be infected with idealism this powerful!