I've gotten more out emotionally
I've gotten more out emotionally today, and totally by unexpected conversation than I have in the last year I believe. It was refreshing, and I needed it, even if I didn't realize I did. I made decisions today, that I didn't realize I had already made; I Just had not said them out loud yet. I've let go of things, and stood on my own two feet; when I didn't realize I had been. It was empowering and It's always been said "I get what I want", I couldn't agree with that more. Because I am going to get what I want, I am going to achieve things I have set out for, and the best is yet to come.
I played in the snow with the kids today, hurt like hell; but It was worth every minute. I've been on day 3 of this physical challenge; it hurts like hell, but I am doing it. I've gotten more school work completed and not stressed; because it'll get done because it has to. Because it's my goal;, so there for I do it. Even though in the last few I have lost sight of that.
I've lost sight of a lot of things, I needed to open my eyes, and stop expecting someone to stand beside me. Because it's not going to happen. I started letting people tell me, I couldn't do that, or this. That I needed help. Yes I do need help on some things. How ever, I lost who I was. I have lost who I am.
I am the tom boy my grandfather raised me to be, I am independent, I am not afraid to work, to hurt, to bleed, to stand up for what I believe in, and most importantly I am not beyond doing anything for my family; except to grovel at some rich mans feet hoping for scraps. I'll leave that for the beggars who think someone else will take care of them.
I've come to learn, that if you find someone brave enough to endure this world with you, we all have our quirks, our downfalls, but loyalty is a lost art. Find it, you hold on to it. My Grandfather very much so, taught me that.
It's been 13 years since I held his hand, felt the rough hard years of his skin envelope my smaller hand, and worry not about him self, but about me. Since I watched all the people file into the church, because he had that effect on so many lives, he gave chances when no one else would, when no one else should had, but he did. Because that's just who he was.
I've lost sight of a lot of things, because I got reprogramed. No longer was I that quiet girl who listened and knew beyond her years from it; I became that person I hated. scraping for acceptance and love, and hoped that someone would love me for everything I was.
I shall bow no more, I shall scrape no more, it's all falling like that snow in my yard, and quieting the night.
I played in the snow with the kids today, hurt like hell; but It was worth every minute. I've been on day 3 of this physical challenge; it hurts like hell, but I am doing it. I've gotten more school work completed and not stressed; because it'll get done because it has to. Because it's my goal;, so there for I do it. Even though in the last few I have lost sight of that.
I've lost sight of a lot of things, I needed to open my eyes, and stop expecting someone to stand beside me. Because it's not going to happen. I started letting people tell me, I couldn't do that, or this. That I needed help. Yes I do need help on some things. How ever, I lost who I was. I have lost who I am.
I am the tom boy my grandfather raised me to be, I am independent, I am not afraid to work, to hurt, to bleed, to stand up for what I believe in, and most importantly I am not beyond doing anything for my family; except to grovel at some rich mans feet hoping for scraps. I'll leave that for the beggars who think someone else will take care of them.
I've come to learn, that if you find someone brave enough to endure this world with you, we all have our quirks, our downfalls, but loyalty is a lost art. Find it, you hold on to it. My Grandfather very much so, taught me that.
It's been 13 years since I held his hand, felt the rough hard years of his skin envelope my smaller hand, and worry not about him self, but about me. Since I watched all the people file into the church, because he had that effect on so many lives, he gave chances when no one else would, when no one else should had, but he did. Because that's just who he was.
I've lost sight of a lot of things, because I got reprogramed. No longer was I that quiet girl who listened and knew beyond her years from it; I became that person I hated. scraping for acceptance and love, and hoped that someone would love me for everything I was.
I shall bow no more, I shall scrape no more, it's all falling like that snow in my yard, and quieting the night.