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[ilantia]

It's always nice to see Jesse. I miss hanging out with 'the old gang' as I like to put it when I'm being fairly uncreative and lame. But, at the same time, it always puts me in turmoil. On the one hand, I feel newly inspired to Do Something, to Make It Happen, to finally get around to Being Someone, to Finding Success. But on the other hand, I am

Comments

[nightcity]

As much as I hate sounding like some Little Book of Crap, I have one and only one vague suggestion. Don't do the all-or-nothing thing. It doesn't work. Or, to follow the LBoC format more closely (*ahem*): Don't look for success, look for improvement. Don't try to be brilliant, try to be better

[nightcity]

Oh yeah, and one other really convoluted point (which is quite dear to my heart at the moment 'cos I quit smoking); if I think I want to do something, but I end up repeatedly not doing it and I don't know why, it's generally because I have some subconscious reason for not wanting it which is more powerful than my wanting-to-do-it-ness. You may want to find out if you have something like that lurking in the back of your head, and, if so, what it might be.

[ilantia]

Oh, thats the easy question. The answer is: the little part of me that WANTS me to be miserable. If I fail, if I put on weight, it makes me unhappy, which satisfies the emotional-self-masochism demon. If there is a difficult situation, I make it worse on purpose, even whilst screaming to myself (mentally) "Nooooooooooooo! Don't do it!!!" because it makes me more upset, and the ESM demon says this is a Good Thing. And when I get depressed, it tries to tell me to stop eating/sleeping and sit up all night in the corner without a blanket cos I deserve it (I haven't done this in a while, mostly because the carpet in my new house is not that nice to sit on, but also the ESM demon gave up because I always ended up crawling back into bed once I started to fall asleep and stopped listening to it

[ilantia]

Oh yeah but the cheap helmet I bought looks really ghey.