Turn my life upside down Chapter 10
Title: Turn my life upside down
Author: ihatetarts
Chapter: 10
Beta: foryouforever
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Romance/Drama
Pairing: Pierre/David Seb/Chuck
Summary: Pierre meets David at school. After some time their friendship turns into a relationship.
Disclaimer: fiction
Authors note:New Chapters!
Dedication:innocenc_e foryouforever
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
For more than two months, David and I have been pretending to be nothing but friends at school. He asks me - no, he even begs me - to hide how I really feel about him. I have to say that he’s completely different at home: when we are in my or his room, he’s all over me. I guess you could say that I’m not really satisfied with the situation. I’ve more or less always been outgoing with everything I do. When I’m happy, I laugh; when someone pisses me off, I kick his ass, and when I’m in love, I kiss him right in front of everyone around me...which is exactly what I would be doing if I hadn't promised David I would do my best to hide us.
So here we are at our lockers, David’s talking to Jeff about some guitar or bass stuff - I don't really know what they're talking about, actually. He’s very good at playing this “we-are-just-friends” game. The guys occasionally ask me if something is up with David and I. I haven’t really told them what’s going on - just that he dislikes us being touchy in public. Fortunately, not one of them say anything about us at school...although, sometimes I just wish they would. It wouldn’t be my fault and there wouldn’t be a reason to hide anymore.
“Pierre?” Seb waves his hand in front of my face to snap me out of my thoughts.
“Hm?”
“Are you okay? You're standing there like your play station is broken...or is it about David?” He asks and there’s nothing I want more than telling him the truth. Tell him - no, tell David - that I’m not okay with “being friends” around other people...but I refrain.
“I'm fine: my play station works and David is okay, too.” It isn't technically a lie, I suppose, but it doesn’t change how I feel right now.
“All right, so I guess you will be going to prom together,” And there it is, what I've been anticipating for two long months: the moment someone says the wrong thing in the wrong place at the wrong time. David gives me a nasty look and interrupts us before I can even answer him myself.
”Hey, Seb - didn’t you want to tell me something?” David pulls him away from me and smiles at the small guy and more or less forces him to walk down the corridor until they disappear in the crowd.
***
I haven’t seen David or Seb all day, and to be honest, I’m kind of happy about it. It’s not like I don’t want to be with them, but the tension rises with every day that goes by, and Sebastien, as the most sensitive of us all, notices it most.
It’s 5p.m., and I can hear David downstairs talking to my mom who just opened the door for him. They like each other: my mom thinks he's a good influence on me (I have no idea what she means by that, honestly) and David loves to bitch about me with her. It's more joking than bitching, but you get what I mean.
The moment he enters my room, he's the same guy I fell in love with: cuddly, cute and most of all, honest with himself. As always, I get up and welcome him with a kiss. When I sit down on my bed again, he's already about to climb onto me and to shove his right hand under my shirt.
“Will you go with me to the prom?” I blurt out and suddenly, but not unexpectedly, he sits back and just stares into my eyes for a few seconds, and it feels more like hours before he finally breaks the silence and gives me his ‘answer’.
“Are you fucking insane? I told you that I don't want us to come out. And you agreed, you even promised me you're okay with that!” David yells at me and doesn't give me time to respond. “Is it because Seb asked you about the prom today?”
“No, of course it's not because of him. And I have kept my word - you know I have, but you never asked me how I felt about it and you didn't even explain to me why you don't want to come out.” I'm trying so hard to hold in my rage and all the feelings rising within me, David: he's hurt and there's a lot of desperation in his eyes.
“It doesn't matter why. You promised me, Pierre.”
“It does matter to me. Please, just help me understand what happened to make you so desperate to keep this so secret?” He gets up and walks over to a window. I can't go on like this and he knows it: if he doesn't give me a reason for his secret game, there won’t be anything between us to go on with.
“The morning I told you to hide what we have, some guy came to me - he said something about fags being sick and that men don't wear shirts this tight...and he said he'll beat the shit out of me if he finds out I'm gay. So I denied it - me, us and you, as well.” He tells me whilst desperately trying to hold back the tears forming in his hazel-brown eyes. I walk over to him to hug him, but he shoves me away. “Do you get now why I just can't stand up for us?”
“David, look at me.” And so he does. “Who said that to you?” I ask him as calmly as I can.
“It doesn't matter which guy! Don't you get that I’m fucking afraid???” He shouts and turns his back on me.
“Tell me his name and he'll see who'll get his ass kicked!”
“Stop asking - I won't tell you. It wouldn't change anything, anyway. You know and I know that there's no way you can protect me every second. I could be on a gurney before you're even done peeing!” He turns around to face me again.
“If anyone just dares to touch you, they won't get the chance to even look at you ever again: I'll protect you and you'll see that some homophobe bastard doesn't have any control over you. There's a whole army of David protectors: I, Pat, Jeff, Chuck and little Seb would do anything for you.” I say and it calms him down a bit, because he has finally stopped pushing me away and begins to sob into my shoulder while I hold him tight.
“If it just were this easy but it isn't.” He says and slowly stops crying.
“David, do you really wanna go on like this? Hiding, denying, lying to yourself? Do you want to run away forever?” I ask him and with that I just infuriate him all over again.
“In Matane, I didn't even get the chance to run away!” He's got a point, I have to admit, but I still have to convince him that his way is not the right one if he doesn't want to suffer his whole life.
“You're not in Matane anymore: you're in Montreal.”
“Where’s the difference in getting beaten up here or there?”
“Here, you've got me.”
“Don't you think that that's not enough?” He says and it kind of stings.
We didn't agree on anything although we talked for more than two hours. I understand him: he can't just forget about the things he went through, but this time, he's got someone to rely on. I wouldn't let anyone hurt him ever again.
Author: ihatetarts
Chapter: 10
Beta: foryouforever
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Romance/Drama
Pairing: Pierre/David Seb/Chuck
Summary: Pierre meets David at school. After some time their friendship turns into a relationship.
Disclaimer: fiction
Authors note:New Chapters!
Dedication:innocenc_e foryouforever
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
For more than two months, David and I have been pretending to be nothing but friends at school. He asks me - no, he even begs me - to hide how I really feel about him. I have to say that he’s completely different at home: when we are in my or his room, he’s all over me. I guess you could say that I’m not really satisfied with the situation. I’ve more or less always been outgoing with everything I do. When I’m happy, I laugh; when someone pisses me off, I kick his ass, and when I’m in love, I kiss him right in front of everyone around me...which is exactly what I would be doing if I hadn't promised David I would do my best to hide us.
So here we are at our lockers, David’s talking to Jeff about some guitar or bass stuff - I don't really know what they're talking about, actually. He’s very good at playing this “we-are-just-friends” game. The guys occasionally ask me if something is up with David and I. I haven’t really told them what’s going on - just that he dislikes us being touchy in public. Fortunately, not one of them say anything about us at school...although, sometimes I just wish they would. It wouldn’t be my fault and there wouldn’t be a reason to hide anymore.
“Pierre?” Seb waves his hand in front of my face to snap me out of my thoughts.
“Hm?”
“Are you okay? You're standing there like your play station is broken...or is it about David?” He asks and there’s nothing I want more than telling him the truth. Tell him - no, tell David - that I’m not okay with “being friends” around other people...but I refrain.
“I'm fine: my play station works and David is okay, too.” It isn't technically a lie, I suppose, but it doesn’t change how I feel right now.
“All right, so I guess you will be going to prom together,” And there it is, what I've been anticipating for two long months: the moment someone says the wrong thing in the wrong place at the wrong time. David gives me a nasty look and interrupts us before I can even answer him myself.
”Hey, Seb - didn’t you want to tell me something?” David pulls him away from me and smiles at the small guy and more or less forces him to walk down the corridor until they disappear in the crowd.
***
I haven’t seen David or Seb all day, and to be honest, I’m kind of happy about it. It’s not like I don’t want to be with them, but the tension rises with every day that goes by, and Sebastien, as the most sensitive of us all, notices it most.
It’s 5p.m., and I can hear David downstairs talking to my mom who just opened the door for him. They like each other: my mom thinks he's a good influence on me (I have no idea what she means by that, honestly) and David loves to bitch about me with her. It's more joking than bitching, but you get what I mean.
The moment he enters my room, he's the same guy I fell in love with: cuddly, cute and most of all, honest with himself. As always, I get up and welcome him with a kiss. When I sit down on my bed again, he's already about to climb onto me and to shove his right hand under my shirt.
“Will you go with me to the prom?” I blurt out and suddenly, but not unexpectedly, he sits back and just stares into my eyes for a few seconds, and it feels more like hours before he finally breaks the silence and gives me his ‘answer’.
“Are you fucking insane? I told you that I don't want us to come out. And you agreed, you even promised me you're okay with that!” David yells at me and doesn't give me time to respond. “Is it because Seb asked you about the prom today?”
“No, of course it's not because of him. And I have kept my word - you know I have, but you never asked me how I felt about it and you didn't even explain to me why you don't want to come out.” I'm trying so hard to hold in my rage and all the feelings rising within me, David: he's hurt and there's a lot of desperation in his eyes.
“It doesn't matter why. You promised me, Pierre.”
“It does matter to me. Please, just help me understand what happened to make you so desperate to keep this so secret?” He gets up and walks over to a window. I can't go on like this and he knows it: if he doesn't give me a reason for his secret game, there won’t be anything between us to go on with.
“The morning I told you to hide what we have, some guy came to me - he said something about fags being sick and that men don't wear shirts this tight...and he said he'll beat the shit out of me if he finds out I'm gay. So I denied it - me, us and you, as well.” He tells me whilst desperately trying to hold back the tears forming in his hazel-brown eyes. I walk over to him to hug him, but he shoves me away. “Do you get now why I just can't stand up for us?”
“David, look at me.” And so he does. “Who said that to you?” I ask him as calmly as I can.
“It doesn't matter which guy! Don't you get that I’m fucking afraid???” He shouts and turns his back on me.
“Tell me his name and he'll see who'll get his ass kicked!”
“Stop asking - I won't tell you. It wouldn't change anything, anyway. You know and I know that there's no way you can protect me every second. I could be on a gurney before you're even done peeing!” He turns around to face me again.
“If anyone just dares to touch you, they won't get the chance to even look at you ever again: I'll protect you and you'll see that some homophobe bastard doesn't have any control over you. There's a whole army of David protectors: I, Pat, Jeff, Chuck and little Seb would do anything for you.” I say and it calms him down a bit, because he has finally stopped pushing me away and begins to sob into my shoulder while I hold him tight.
“If it just were this easy but it isn't.” He says and slowly stops crying.
“David, do you really wanna go on like this? Hiding, denying, lying to yourself? Do you want to run away forever?” I ask him and with that I just infuriate him all over again.
“In Matane, I didn't even get the chance to run away!” He's got a point, I have to admit, but I still have to convince him that his way is not the right one if he doesn't want to suffer his whole life.
“You're not in Matane anymore: you're in Montreal.”
“Where’s the difference in getting beaten up here or there?”
“Here, you've got me.”
“Don't you think that that's not enough?” He says and it kind of stings.
We didn't agree on anything although we talked for more than two hours. I understand him: he can't just forget about the things he went through, but this time, he's got someone to rely on. I wouldn't let anyone hurt him ever again.