(s)he has a point
my friend is going out with a girl. he went recently to the bay area for work-related exercises and he visited a female college-friend of his. he talks to her about dating. hes "not really" at the moment. she further inquires and he tells her the situation. she says, "you know, from all of the things you tell me - the way you hang out, go out, chat, etc - she is not only interested in you, she is pursuing a relationship with you.... but..." (but? he asks, though he knows what to expect) "but... shes asian."
too true, we think. too true and a bit unfortunate.
a friend of mine told me something similar not one day ago. when speaking of the girls that i end up hanging out with "are they all asian?". i caught an implication that wasnt there and chose to miss the obvious. asian girls are nubtarded. while i sometimes laud the asian parenting techniques, i have little doubt that they turn girls into so much psychological mess.
thats not to say that im really unmessy, necessarily, but i feel that i can at least view my actions objectively enough to analyze them and extrapolate my motivations and desires. unfortunately for me this seems to happen more easily after the fact (this is true for almost everybody, i know).
when i am faced with the unknown through interface with a female, i have trouble understanding her motivations, desires, or (in my opinion, the worst of all) her reservations. i sometimes ask them to be up front with me, but this rarely produces results. in the end, i stumble blindly into the pit of awkwardness (in their minds) and am never to be communed with again.
sometimes i feel like the only person willing to put up with awkwardness and miscommunication to understand or become closer to someone else.
i should get to bed.
something else came up recently in a car ride and at dinner. somehow i feel as if i attempt to accomodate many and few ever attempt to accomodate me. i havent seen you in a while, you are a high priority for me. you havent seen me in a while, oh, um, must mean you dont really care to see me, so ignore me.
one tells me im too imposing, another tells me i care too much, think too much. few ever seem to impose on me or think of me. the curse of my character is caring for those who dont mind my absence. lovely. miao_ji will probably say that im angsting. "angsting all the time is not good for you". too bad theres no way for me to make it stop (not to say that its unstoppable, just that the force greater than it comes from without). distraction must be my overutilized tool until my will bends the universe. for this i pray, amen.
too true, we think. too true and a bit unfortunate.
a friend of mine told me something similar not one day ago. when speaking of the girls that i end up hanging out with "are they all asian?". i caught an implication that wasnt there and chose to miss the obvious. asian girls are nubtarded. while i sometimes laud the asian parenting techniques, i have little doubt that they turn girls into so much psychological mess.
thats not to say that im really unmessy, necessarily, but i feel that i can at least view my actions objectively enough to analyze them and extrapolate my motivations and desires. unfortunately for me this seems to happen more easily after the fact (this is true for almost everybody, i know).
when i am faced with the unknown through interface with a female, i have trouble understanding her motivations, desires, or (in my opinion, the worst of all) her reservations. i sometimes ask them to be up front with me, but this rarely produces results. in the end, i stumble blindly into the pit of awkwardness (in their minds) and am never to be communed with again.
sometimes i feel like the only person willing to put up with awkwardness and miscommunication to understand or become closer to someone else.
i should get to bed.
something else came up recently in a car ride and at dinner. somehow i feel as if i attempt to accomodate many and few ever attempt to accomodate me. i havent seen you in a while, you are a high priority for me. you havent seen me in a while, oh, um, must mean you dont really care to see me, so ignore me.
one tells me im too imposing, another tells me i care too much, think too much. few ever seem to impose on me or think of me. the curse of my character is caring for those who dont mind my absence. lovely. miao_ji will probably say that im angsting. "angsting all the time is not good for you". too bad theres no way for me to make it stop (not to say that its unstoppable, just that the force greater than it comes from without). distraction must be my overutilized tool until my will bends the universe. for this i pray, amen.