(no subject)
he says, "let me tell you that every single day i get lost in how you're gone." and he says a lot more after that, and this is the first he's spoken to you in a week, and it's strange, because it's not small talk, but you'd almost prefer it. because it wouldn't make your stomach clench, wouldn't make you feel sick for what you know will be the next week because your body is still not over it. your body shakes and moans and your heart skips beats too often, pushes itself too hard since you walked away, and your lungs can't seem to get enough oxygen to through your blood. your body betrays your resolve to say, "stop." and "enough, now. we have had enough." your body can't shake the addiction of a love that wasn't real, but you swear it was. your body screams, says, look, here, these are the markings, here is the proof that real love lived here, in this place, and this, and this, and here. look at all the places in the dust where things have been removed - see. look, these things are spotless and raw and it was real.
your mind is a separate place, now. full of things you know, the story as it happened, the hurt and how unlucky your love was. it knows terrible phrases that it shouts down the wires. your sympathetic nervous system sends your body reeling and phrases like, "loss of self," and "emotionally abusive," and "you are better off," and "find yourself," come in the form of the parasympathetic. your mind is like the arctic because it has to be, but your body is the fault lines of the splitting of pangaea.
but you know, because your mind is telling you so, that people are not continents, though the separation may feel that way, and your body is left to nurse the wounds that are inconsolable.
your mind is a separate place, now. full of things you know, the story as it happened, the hurt and how unlucky your love was. it knows terrible phrases that it shouts down the wires. your sympathetic nervous system sends your body reeling and phrases like, "loss of self," and "emotionally abusive," and "you are better off," and "find yourself," come in the form of the parasympathetic. your mind is like the arctic because it has to be, but your body is the fault lines of the splitting of pangaea.
but you know, because your mind is telling you so, that people are not continents, though the separation may feel that way, and your body is left to nurse the wounds that are inconsolable.