Of Kisses and Dreams [text]
[Private; unhackable]
I had the strangest strangest dream earlier this month, about mistletoe, of all the damn things. Even Rundas was there, it was very bizarre. If I start dreaming about him haunting my refrigerator next I swear... It makes me wonder if it was a premonition of some kind; Blacky and Birdo were insistent about putting up mistletoe around the school shortly thereafter. They made wonderful target practice...
Well, it wasn't all bad. One glaring exception stands out in my mind...
Three little words that are so very hard to say stand out in my mind.
Those three little words I don't think I need to hear but are so relieved to hear... and finally say myself.
I didn't think I was capable of feeling so much... elation and comfort at the same time, as when I'm around him. Just those few times we manage to put aside our egos, stop trying to get under each other's skin or banter with each other, despite the fact I think I like that very much, and are simply just... open.
I recall a time when I was so reluctant to allow myself to get close to anyone. I don't think that time was very long ago...
I'm not quite sure why I was so smitten with Snake, that he just happened to be there that one night, and I happened to save him. I found myself attracted to him, someone I could relate to in many ways and with similar experiences. But... it just didn't work out. Our similarities had a definite limit, one that seemed to end around the intimacy and romance facets out our lives. I convinced myself I was happy because I thought I had finally found someone who wasn't going to die around me... and what a cruel twist of fate that I later learned that he will, because of FOXDIE.
The entire ordeal still... As if everything was sabotaged on purpose because I decided to listen to my heart...
I would be a terrible liar to say I do not live my life without regular sacrifice. It hurts but it's worth it to me. I wonder if he thinks that too...?
Maybe these things happen for a reason...
I had the strangest strangest dream earlier this month, about mistletoe, of all the damn things. Even Rundas was there, it was very bizarre. If I start dreaming about him haunting my refrigerator next I swear... It makes me wonder if it was a premonition of some kind; Blacky and Birdo were insistent about putting up mistletoe around the school shortly thereafter. They made wonderful target practice...
Well, it wasn't all bad. One glaring exception stands out in my mind...
Three little words that are so very hard to say stand out in my mind.
Those three little words I don't think I need to hear but are so relieved to hear... and finally say myself.
I didn't think I was capable of feeling so much... elation and comfort at the same time, as when I'm around him. Just those few times we manage to put aside our egos, stop trying to get under each other's skin or banter with each other, despite the fact I think I like that very much, and are simply just... open.
I recall a time when I was so reluctant to allow myself to get close to anyone. I don't think that time was very long ago...
I'm not quite sure why I was so smitten with Snake, that he just happened to be there that one night, and I happened to save him. I found myself attracted to him, someone I could relate to in many ways and with similar experiences. But... it just didn't work out. Our similarities had a definite limit, one that seemed to end around the intimacy and romance facets out our lives. I convinced myself I was happy because I thought I had finally found someone who wasn't going to die around me... and what a cruel twist of fate that I later learned that he will, because of FOXDIE.
The entire ordeal still... As if everything was sabotaged on purpose because I decided to listen to my heart...
I would be a terrible liar to say I do not live my life without regular sacrifice. It hurts but it's worth it to me. I wonder if he thinks that too...?
Maybe these things happen for a reason...