Your daily dose of WHAT THE FUCK

Aug 07, 2009 19:52

Had a rather odd phone call this afternoon. It was from my youngest brother, and he was giggling so much that I could barely understand him ( Read more... )

wtf, peeves, family, religion

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alisso August 7 2009, 10:43:15 UTC
So by having sex before marriage, I have broken the brain in my genitals? That explains a LOT!

THIS.

Best explanation ever. May I steal this concept for later humourous ranting purposes?

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iamshadow August 7 2009, 10:49:42 UTC
Of course you have a brain in your genitals! I'm convinced that you're brainy everywhere.

Probably. But given that it'll be a Mormon ceremony and I'm a heretic, I'll only have to sit through the reception.

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kath_ballantyne August 7 2009, 15:48:09 UTC
Yes, but with NO BOOZE!

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alisso August 7 2009, 10:40:35 UTC
THE FAIL. IT IS EPIC.

Seriously. I'm starting to think 95% of the world's problems could be solved if the people involved just got laid more often. Properly. Or found someone with whom they could explore their kinks. Cause fuck, so many people in the world get the sex thing SO VERY WRONG.

Icon is aimed at...well, frankly, anyone in favour of total abstinence, really...personal abstinence is fine, total is just wtf country.

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iamshadow August 7 2009, 10:51:30 UTC
I KNOW, RIGHT?

YOU'D THINK THAT MY RELATIVES WOULD LEARN THAT HASTY MARRIAGES SUCK, BUT THEY REMAIN GUNG HO FOR THEM.

I have to keep reminding myself that this is the brother that has a modicum of RL smarts. I'm wondering if he's been replaced by a pod person.

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alisso August 7 2009, 11:01:59 UTC
Religion is a meme, which, despite the quiz fun'n'games, is technically defined as an idea that self-propegates across minds - a thought virus, if you like. Actually, religion is a memeplex, a collection of memes that copy themselves into the brain of sufferers. Amongst them is the command "pass this on to as many people as you can".

Unfortunately, in order to copy itself into a person's brain, it wipes over quite a few really important programs, like Common Sense 1.5 and Self Preservation 3.2 - because all the meme is concerned with is its own survival, not that of its host. If dying in a blaze of martyrdom will further the cause of the meme, it doesn't want SP 3.2 stepping in and stopping you.

Sadly, your bro's RL intelligence only applies to areas of his brain not already overwritten by the godcode. And even more sadly, about the only brain software that can come close to competing with godcode is Sex Drive 6.9. Which is an intelligence-free zone for almost all individuals, and is therefore easily influenced by godcode and its

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iamshadow August 7 2009, 11:10:08 UTC
MY BROTHER'S BRAIN HAS A COMPUTER VIRUS. THIS MAKES SO MUCH SENSE.

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mrsquizzical August 7 2009, 10:55:18 UTC
if only i hadn't heard stories like this before.

*sigh*

i suppose they have as much chance as any other marriage...?

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iamshadow August 7 2009, 10:58:38 UTC
I'm just hoping that she doesn't turn out to be as BATSHIT INSANE as my other brother's girlfriend.

My family. They know how to pick them, all right.

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jaydeyn_sitari August 7 2009, 11:17:17 UTC

Well. Congratulations on gaining something completely mind-boggingly entertaining to blog about? *blinks* You know, we have DNA testing now if people are worried about paternity, rather than the whole you must be virgins thing.

*sigh* Probably going to turn out that they don't hit each other's kinks and the whole kerfuffle could've been avoided.

:)
Jaydeyn

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iamshadow August 7 2009, 11:35:50 UTC
Kinks don't exist! They're for those perverse people on the outside who use sex for something other than baby-making.

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jaydeyn_sitari August 7 2009, 23:32:38 UTC

... ... there is something direly wrong with some people.

:(
Jaydeyn

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brumeux77 August 7 2009, 12:47:26 UTC
THIS IS WHAT NO SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE DOES TO YOU, PEOPLE

Umm?

*on his honeymoon*

*at age 30*

*28th anniversary four months ago*

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iamshadow August 7 2009, 13:01:01 UTC
I'm not saying there aren't exceptions, but in my family, it's like an ongoing series of train wrecks. Literally, "Hi! Let's get married!" and then they find out they're in no way compatible. And the culture of the church is to blame for it. There's this production line from birth to death. Long engagements are an oddity, and heaven forbid you have a career before marriage, or before kids. That's selfish, apparently. Call me nuts, but I'd rather get to know someone a bit before I pledge my life to them, and it just seems like common sense to me to make yourself financially stable before starting to bring kids into being.

My brother is 23, currently unemployed, has never lived away from home, never had a serious relationship and has only just met this girl. Of course he's thinking with his cock. And my mother, rather than being a voice of reason, will be egging him on towards marriage, because that was what she was like when I had my first serious boyfriend at fifteen. And there's absolutely nothing I can do to prevent this disaster- ( ... )

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brumeux77 August 7 2009, 15:10:35 UTC
Yeah, sorry. I was trying a little light relief. I guess I should have had a :) in there, but I'm not real sure where it would have fit best.

Of course you should know the person you're going to marry, and there should be more to the relationship than an agreement to churn out babies.

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iamshadow August 7 2009, 15:21:30 UTC
Sorry, I thought you were getting upset at the sentiments I was expressing. I thought I should clarify my position a little.

I love my brother. He grew up into a great guy, an intelligent guy, and I love that he's found someone he likes, but likewise, I know he's not getting any sensible older-adult council on this. I don't want him rushing into this and ending up miserable, but I can't stop him or even really offer advice or caution, because I'm the family black sheep, the one who very pointedly walked away from the church, from a hetero lifestyle, and who has the nerve to continue to be happy that way without being struck by heavenly thunderbolts.

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