Bridge to pistachio fluff
Mom has a Red Hat dealie tomorrow. It's a potluck and she's bringing pistachio fluff--basically pistachio pudding, Cool Whip, mini-marshmallows, and crushed pineapple. She'd thought about making my famous taffy apple salad, except it was far too much work. Because, y'know, you have to chop the apples and crush the nuts. Realize she'd submitted this to a cookbook and got feedback from someone who made it recently and said it was a hit--it may be a lot of work, but it's worth it. But mom doesn't care that much.
She decided to make it when we were supposed to leave the house. On the way home from Long Grove, we got to talking about how she's put on a lot of weight and she really needs exercise, so she was saying I should be her personal trainer. I needed to mail some bills so I figured I'd walk to the post office, and she thought she'd come too, then said she needed to return some books to the St. Charles Library, and maybe we could walk around over there. That's fine; I just wanted to do it after 2 so that the sun wouldn't be as strong. And, as I'm finishing up getting ready, I start hearing noises from the kitchen. Mom is making the fluff. Great. And she was doing it on the kitchen table, not the counter, because we'd done dishes and it was warm near the dishwasher, never mind that the dishwasher isn't that big and there's still plenty of cool countertop to choose from. *sigh* And of course she had to taste her creation, meaning she was sugared up, meaning she was annoying on the trip. Seriously, we need to avoid giving her sugar. It makes her IQ drop about 50 points.
I actually needed to go to the library myself, as I need copies of my insurance cards for camp. The machine only takes quarters and dollar bills, so I dropped my quarter in and made my two copies. It automatically dropped the nickel into the coin return when I made the second copy, but when I grabbed my change I came up with the nickel *and* a quarter. Whoa. I think I know where I'll be making my copies from now on. ;)
We finished at the library and started walking. We didn't have a plan but we ended up going toward Pottawatomie, the big park in that city. Right away mom was all negative--why are you going over there? There's no sidewalk! My mother is blind and not-bright, as if she had looked and paid closer attention, she would have seen that the sidewalk slopes up and out of sight into the park on the corner of 5th and Main. Seriously--just because the sidewalk isn't right next to the street doesn't mean it's not there. The park is on 2nd, and it turns out there's a decent-sized hill due to a train overpass. She kept complaining she was going to die or have a heart attack. Honey, this is *exactly* why you *need* to do this. It's good for you. At least she was better once we got into the park, but while walking around the pool area I ended up hitting a dead end and she was all mortified about that, that all the people at the pool were going to think we were morons. No, they're going to think we've never been here before, which we haven't, and besides I highly doubt too many people are even paying attention to us, save for the girl in the green bathing suit who said hi to us while climbing up a ladder.
Mom had also freaked out that she didn't have any money with her. Why is this a problem? We're going for a walk. We shouldn't need anything. She was like, what if I want something to drink? Uh, hi, I have the magic tote bag of fun which is holding your water bottle. And mine. You will not get dehydrated. When we passed Starbucks, she wanted to go inside to see what they had. Why? Because she was hungry and she had her "cash station" card on her. Seriously, I don't know why she doesn't call it a debit card like everyone else on the planet. And she thinks I'm weird. Honey, that apple didn't fall far from the tree. But no, I wouldn't let her go into Starbucks, because I don't like Starbucks, and because it was rush hour and I wanted to go home and make dinner. You know, with the food items we've already paid for. She then grabbed onto me as we walked up the hill. See, this is what you need--less food, more exercise.
She decided to make it when we were supposed to leave the house. On the way home from Long Grove, we got to talking about how she's put on a lot of weight and she really needs exercise, so she was saying I should be her personal trainer. I needed to mail some bills so I figured I'd walk to the post office, and she thought she'd come too, then said she needed to return some books to the St. Charles Library, and maybe we could walk around over there. That's fine; I just wanted to do it after 2 so that the sun wouldn't be as strong. And, as I'm finishing up getting ready, I start hearing noises from the kitchen. Mom is making the fluff. Great. And she was doing it on the kitchen table, not the counter, because we'd done dishes and it was warm near the dishwasher, never mind that the dishwasher isn't that big and there's still plenty of cool countertop to choose from. *sigh* And of course she had to taste her creation, meaning she was sugared up, meaning she was annoying on the trip. Seriously, we need to avoid giving her sugar. It makes her IQ drop about 50 points.
I actually needed to go to the library myself, as I need copies of my insurance cards for camp. The machine only takes quarters and dollar bills, so I dropped my quarter in and made my two copies. It automatically dropped the nickel into the coin return when I made the second copy, but when I grabbed my change I came up with the nickel *and* a quarter. Whoa. I think I know where I'll be making my copies from now on. ;)
We finished at the library and started walking. We didn't have a plan but we ended up going toward Pottawatomie, the big park in that city. Right away mom was all negative--why are you going over there? There's no sidewalk! My mother is blind and not-bright, as if she had looked and paid closer attention, she would have seen that the sidewalk slopes up and out of sight into the park on the corner of 5th and Main. Seriously--just because the sidewalk isn't right next to the street doesn't mean it's not there. The park is on 2nd, and it turns out there's a decent-sized hill due to a train overpass. She kept complaining she was going to die or have a heart attack. Honey, this is *exactly* why you *need* to do this. It's good for you. At least she was better once we got into the park, but while walking around the pool area I ended up hitting a dead end and she was all mortified about that, that all the people at the pool were going to think we were morons. No, they're going to think we've never been here before, which we haven't, and besides I highly doubt too many people are even paying attention to us, save for the girl in the green bathing suit who said hi to us while climbing up a ladder.
Mom had also freaked out that she didn't have any money with her. Why is this a problem? We're going for a walk. We shouldn't need anything. She was like, what if I want something to drink? Uh, hi, I have the magic tote bag of fun which is holding your water bottle. And mine. You will not get dehydrated. When we passed Starbucks, she wanted to go inside to see what they had. Why? Because she was hungry and she had her "cash station" card on her. Seriously, I don't know why she doesn't call it a debit card like everyone else on the planet. And she thinks I'm weird. Honey, that apple didn't fall far from the tree. But no, I wouldn't let her go into Starbucks, because I don't like Starbucks, and because it was rush hour and I wanted to go home and make dinner. You know, with the food items we've already paid for. She then grabbed onto me as we walked up the hill. See, this is what you need--less food, more exercise.