What are we celebrating? Take your pick.
The one good thing about my not going to camp this year was that I was available to attend a family party at my cousin's house. Every year, my parents and I have plans for at least one of the two camp weekends. They had a wedding on Saturday, so they couldn't go to the party, and they have an annual picnic this coming Saturday (which, as it's related to the same group of friends, had to be pushed back a weekend due to the wedding). Without camp happening, I was actually able to go. Which is good, because my cousin from Northern California and her family were in town and that was part of the reason for the gathering. My cousin was like, take your pick of what to celebrate... Her son turned 18 and graduated high school; T's birthday is this week; and my goddaughter was about to celebrate her wedding anniversary (and had completely forgotten about it, so when Aunt D and I handed her cards, she was like, what's this for? Your husband--who wasn't there--is so lucky, dear).
My NorCal cousin brought the whole family this time; I can't even recall the last time I saw her husband. It was super weird at first because I remember him as having short, thick, dark hair and a matching mustache. Given that close to 30 years have passed (maybe not that long, but that's the mental picture I have of him), his hair is no longer dark, not quite as thick, and is about shoulder-length. And no mustache. And he's on the thin side. Just...wow, you've changed. But eventually we started talking and it was fine, and we had an interesting conversation about family and DNA tests and things, in part because his mom was really secretive about stuff and there's a lot he doesn't know about his family, and I think he said he doesn't really want to know. Stuff is buried for a reason. See, that would make me more curious, but that's me. However, I know his wife did the testing because she and I matched, but because we only share grandma, we show up as second cousins, which he thought was interesting.
This was almost entirely a family party, though T's godmother came for a little while. Both T and my goddaughter had other plans and left by 6:30, but everyone their age and older hung out in the backyard until dinner (Costco pizza) arrived. My cousin's son stayed upstairs for everything but the birthday cake, when we dragged him down to sing for him and T. That actually was funny, because they had an ice cream cake and only put one candle for each of them on it, and he ended up purposely blowing out both candles while poor T stood there with her mouth open, like, what just happened here? I think they relit her candle so she could blow it out herself. (And funny story--while we were talking about food and dietary restrictions, I found out that my cousin's husband has dairy issues now, and I was like, I feel ya, and my goddaughter was all, why didn't you say something! We always have pizza at these parties! Well, so long as it's not Lent, I'll eat the pizza; I can deal with that. But then she said, we're having an ice cream cake, and I had to go, ...rats. I'll just watch, thanks.) Ooh, so aside from Aunt D, Kevin, Leah, and the baby came; they'd brought this watermelon salad that's a variation on what my dad makes. It has watermelon, cucumbers, mint, and I think balsamic vinegar. Kevin grows at least the first two items in his garden, and he was like, I gotta do something with them. It was really refreshing and kind of offset the pizza. Meanwhile, poor Leah had gotten poison ivy at work, attempting to weed before a visitor was to come Monday, and she'd had to visit urgent care or the ER that morning because her eyes were swelling up, yikes. She was on steroids by then but was like, Kevin, you're on diaper duty for a few days. The baby is still super happy and chill; he took a few tumbles but was no worse for wear, and he really liked handing me his toys and things. They had this whole bag of trucks and stuff, which he did pull out and play with (and hand to me, especially this small firetruck), but what did he like best? The watering can and a wood chip he found in the yard. Kids. Well, he's a year and a half. They're into the simple pleasures.
I mentioned that my NorCal cousin brought the whole family, but her daughter--almost 16--stayed in the rental van for a while. When she finally left there, she stayed inside with SJ the whole time, mostly on the living room couch. They were watching YouTube videos on the TV or else playing on their phones. (CC stayed in the family room watching a movie on a laptop.) She basically ignored us. At one point, her dad said that she's shy and it takes her a while to warm up to situations, so when a bunch of us were talking in the kitchen, including her parents, and she wandered over, I was thinking, great! Join us. At least listen in. But the only thing she said to me kind of pissed me off, to be honest with you. Kevin and Leah were part of the kitchen group, and the baby was wandering around. I was more in the dining room and kept an eye on him--he'd wander around the table, go over to the couch in the living room and attempt to climb on the ample ottoman, wander back around the table, then stare at the kitty cat on the large cat tree in the corner between the dining room and kitchen. (The cat was on the second-highest platform, out of reach of the baby, and could keep an eye on things there. That is, until my cousin's husband grabbed the cat for the baby to pet and the cat was like, NOPE. And then it stayed on the highest platform before escaping upstairs entirely.) The baby made this circuit multiple times. I was there keeping an eye on him, making sure he didn't conk his head on anything or get into trouble (no, you don't need to go into the bathroom). After she'd gotten up and gone by the kitchen, NorCal's daughter was on her way back to the couch when the baby toddled by. She then said to me, could you keep him away from me? Kids under 10 freak me out.
...Uh, no. He's your family, and he is a guest in this house same as you, and he's allowed to go where he wants. That was pretty much how it was left, and she went back to ignoring everything but her phone. I forget who was standing next to me when that happened, maybe Aunt D, but it's like, seriously, he's a baby. This is what babies do. If you'd bothered to watch him at all, you'd have seen his pattern and you'd know that he could not care less about you. You're not soft and fuzzy, you're not something he can climb. You hold no interest for him, especially since you're not interacting with him in any way. (It's telling that her father had said, while we were outside watching the baby, that it was good she wasn't out there because she'd likely scare the baby. You know...you're her parent...you could encourage her interactions with other people of all ages, just FYI.) Also, and I hate to break it to you, I'm not this child's mother. He and I both happened to be wearing orange tops, but that doesn't mean I gave birth to him. I'm being a responsible person in keeping him safe, because that's what older people do when they're around younger people. Perhaps you could pick up on that, but that would mean interacting with other human beings, which I know from past experience is not anything you enjoy. Now, the good news is that I didn't get the possible serial killer/mass shooter vibe from her that I did the last time she was in town, but again she also spent no time with me, whereas last time we spent two hours talking out on the patio (really, CC did most of the talking, but NorCal's daughter did interject things). That's not to say there was nothing disturbing; SJ had brought down the other two cats to say hello, and two of them quickly ran back up the stairs, causing NorCal's daughter to go, kill him! or something like that. Just...why. Sigh.
At least I can end with a bizarro story that kind of blows my mind. There's a local band my cousin likes, and the former lead singer of it started his own group, and I know the drummer and saw them play a few weeks ago. I wondered if she'd ever seen the second group. Turns out my cousin recently went to the Def Leppard concert when they were in town. ...And she's friends with them. Uh...say what? She's all nonchalant about it, like, yeah, I'm friends with Def Leppard. Thirty years ago, she and her best friend from high school had gone to a concert, and they somehow made it backstage...and the friend started dating the guitarist. And went on tour with them. And because she was alone a lot of the time, my cousin joined them (she said it was the Hysteria tour). She then pulled out old picture on her phone showing her with members of the band. OH MY GOD. I could've been the coolest kid in the fourth grade! My cousin knows Def Leppard! Holy crap! So at this recent concert, Phil Collen spotted my cousin, the friend, and the friend's husband and gave them backstage access. Because my cousin's husband was watching the kids, she figured they were still awake, so she got a video of Phil going, "Lastname kids, GO TO BED!" Heh. So that was unexpected.
My NorCal cousin brought the whole family this time; I can't even recall the last time I saw her husband. It was super weird at first because I remember him as having short, thick, dark hair and a matching mustache. Given that close to 30 years have passed (maybe not that long, but that's the mental picture I have of him), his hair is no longer dark, not quite as thick, and is about shoulder-length. And no mustache. And he's on the thin side. Just...wow, you've changed. But eventually we started talking and it was fine, and we had an interesting conversation about family and DNA tests and things, in part because his mom was really secretive about stuff and there's a lot he doesn't know about his family, and I think he said he doesn't really want to know. Stuff is buried for a reason. See, that would make me more curious, but that's me. However, I know his wife did the testing because she and I matched, but because we only share grandma, we show up as second cousins, which he thought was interesting.
This was almost entirely a family party, though T's godmother came for a little while. Both T and my goddaughter had other plans and left by 6:30, but everyone their age and older hung out in the backyard until dinner (Costco pizza) arrived. My cousin's son stayed upstairs for everything but the birthday cake, when we dragged him down to sing for him and T. That actually was funny, because they had an ice cream cake and only put one candle for each of them on it, and he ended up purposely blowing out both candles while poor T stood there with her mouth open, like, what just happened here? I think they relit her candle so she could blow it out herself. (And funny story--while we were talking about food and dietary restrictions, I found out that my cousin's husband has dairy issues now, and I was like, I feel ya, and my goddaughter was all, why didn't you say something! We always have pizza at these parties! Well, so long as it's not Lent, I'll eat the pizza; I can deal with that. But then she said, we're having an ice cream cake, and I had to go, ...rats. I'll just watch, thanks.) Ooh, so aside from Aunt D, Kevin, Leah, and the baby came; they'd brought this watermelon salad that's a variation on what my dad makes. It has watermelon, cucumbers, mint, and I think balsamic vinegar. Kevin grows at least the first two items in his garden, and he was like, I gotta do something with them. It was really refreshing and kind of offset the pizza. Meanwhile, poor Leah had gotten poison ivy at work, attempting to weed before a visitor was to come Monday, and she'd had to visit urgent care or the ER that morning because her eyes were swelling up, yikes. She was on steroids by then but was like, Kevin, you're on diaper duty for a few days. The baby is still super happy and chill; he took a few tumbles but was no worse for wear, and he really liked handing me his toys and things. They had this whole bag of trucks and stuff, which he did pull out and play with (and hand to me, especially this small firetruck), but what did he like best? The watering can and a wood chip he found in the yard. Kids. Well, he's a year and a half. They're into the simple pleasures.
I mentioned that my NorCal cousin brought the whole family, but her daughter--almost 16--stayed in the rental van for a while. When she finally left there, she stayed inside with SJ the whole time, mostly on the living room couch. They were watching YouTube videos on the TV or else playing on their phones. (CC stayed in the family room watching a movie on a laptop.) She basically ignored us. At one point, her dad said that she's shy and it takes her a while to warm up to situations, so when a bunch of us were talking in the kitchen, including her parents, and she wandered over, I was thinking, great! Join us. At least listen in. But the only thing she said to me kind of pissed me off, to be honest with you. Kevin and Leah were part of the kitchen group, and the baby was wandering around. I was more in the dining room and kept an eye on him--he'd wander around the table, go over to the couch in the living room and attempt to climb on the ample ottoman, wander back around the table, then stare at the kitty cat on the large cat tree in the corner between the dining room and kitchen. (The cat was on the second-highest platform, out of reach of the baby, and could keep an eye on things there. That is, until my cousin's husband grabbed the cat for the baby to pet and the cat was like, NOPE. And then it stayed on the highest platform before escaping upstairs entirely.) The baby made this circuit multiple times. I was there keeping an eye on him, making sure he didn't conk his head on anything or get into trouble (no, you don't need to go into the bathroom). After she'd gotten up and gone by the kitchen, NorCal's daughter was on her way back to the couch when the baby toddled by. She then said to me, could you keep him away from me? Kids under 10 freak me out.
...Uh, no. He's your family, and he is a guest in this house same as you, and he's allowed to go where he wants. That was pretty much how it was left, and she went back to ignoring everything but her phone. I forget who was standing next to me when that happened, maybe Aunt D, but it's like, seriously, he's a baby. This is what babies do. If you'd bothered to watch him at all, you'd have seen his pattern and you'd know that he could not care less about you. You're not soft and fuzzy, you're not something he can climb. You hold no interest for him, especially since you're not interacting with him in any way. (It's telling that her father had said, while we were outside watching the baby, that it was good she wasn't out there because she'd likely scare the baby. You know...you're her parent...you could encourage her interactions with other people of all ages, just FYI.) Also, and I hate to break it to you, I'm not this child's mother. He and I both happened to be wearing orange tops, but that doesn't mean I gave birth to him. I'm being a responsible person in keeping him safe, because that's what older people do when they're around younger people. Perhaps you could pick up on that, but that would mean interacting with other human beings, which I know from past experience is not anything you enjoy. Now, the good news is that I didn't get the possible serial killer/mass shooter vibe from her that I did the last time she was in town, but again she also spent no time with me, whereas last time we spent two hours talking out on the patio (really, CC did most of the talking, but NorCal's daughter did interject things). That's not to say there was nothing disturbing; SJ had brought down the other two cats to say hello, and two of them quickly ran back up the stairs, causing NorCal's daughter to go, kill him! or something like that. Just...why. Sigh.
At least I can end with a bizarro story that kind of blows my mind. There's a local band my cousin likes, and the former lead singer of it started his own group, and I know the drummer and saw them play a few weeks ago. I wondered if she'd ever seen the second group. Turns out my cousin recently went to the Def Leppard concert when they were in town. ...And she's friends with them. Uh...say what? She's all nonchalant about it, like, yeah, I'm friends with Def Leppard. Thirty years ago, she and her best friend from high school had gone to a concert, and they somehow made it backstage...and the friend started dating the guitarist. And went on tour with them. And because she was alone a lot of the time, my cousin joined them (she said it was the Hysteria tour). She then pulled out old picture on her phone showing her with members of the band. OH MY GOD. I could've been the coolest kid in the fourth grade! My cousin knows Def Leppard! Holy crap! So at this recent concert, Phil Collen spotted my cousin, the friend, and the friend's husband and gave them backstage access. Because my cousin's husband was watching the kids, she figured they were still awake, so she got a video of Phil going, "Lastname kids, GO TO BED!" Heh. So that was unexpected.