If it's Tuesday, grandma must be missing
Let's start with yesterday, shall we?
Memorial Day was my last trip into the city to medicate grandma. I left from the parade/service, having scarfed down some food before walking to my car, and then drove to the city. Traffic was remarkably light and I made it in roughly an hour, which is fantastic. I also took another modified route, trying to find the most interesting ways to North Avenue; I discovered there's an unincorporated area called Flowerfield on Route 53 immediately east of where it crosses under 355. Like...really? I expect to see signs like this in the boonies, not next to civilization, so that was interesting.
Everything went pretty well with grandma, and we were both excited that Tuesday would be her last day. There was still a little confusion about her doctor's appointment on Tuesday; she'd written an appointment on her calendar, but didn't write a time, and I wasn't 100% convinced that she did have an appointment. Shortly before I left, there was this odd phone call after 5 PM from an out-of-state area code. It ended up being this sketchy message about an appointment at 2:15 PM today. She had me replay it for her and she sat there with this frown/scowl on her face listening to it, to where I thought she couldn't hear it properly. She was thinking she didn't hear the doctor's name or the place. Grandma, they didn't say it. (That's what made it sketchy. It basically went, "You have an appointment with doctor at place!" And yet it didn't give proper names. It was really weird.) She already had a note to call the doctor in the morning, and Sarah the nurse was going to come by, and I figured Sarah would call first thing in the morning. (I left Sarah a thank-you note. She was so helpful and caring, I wanted to make sure to express that to her.) Grandma, for her part, had me get her purse and she pulled out money for my trouble, insisting I take it. Grandma, consider this my birthday present to you; you don't need to give me money. She said, I will be very upset if you don't take it! Okay, fine. I immediately gave it to mom when I got home for the "grandma fund" in case we needed to get her groceries or something.
Grandma had yawned her way through her treatment, so as soon as we finished, she climbed into bed. But before I left, she said, don't tell anyone, but I'm going to drive myself to my appointment! Grandma, no. You shouldn't drive until the doctor clears you. Then I had a stroke of genius: Besides that, mom has your garage door opener. You can't get out. Grandma wasn't too thrilled to hear that: Why does she have that? I told her, so she can get into the building if you're asleep. You can't use a key to get in. (It's kind of a pain.) Grandma seemed put out by that thought, so I let her know that Sarah would likely be able to help her get a medivan or something similar to take her. What grandma didn't know is that, while mom took possession of the garage door opener, I had it in my purse in case *I* couldn't get in, but I figured grandma didn't need to know that. She's not the greatest driver on a good day. We'd rather she not drive when she's not near 100%. Besides, in her desperation to get out of her condo, she may well have tried to tackle me had she known I had the opener. But it's clear she's not entirely herself. She'll usually get kind of dressed up, and comb her hair, and bathe; she hasn't taken a bath since she's been home because she can't get in and out easily. (She's not a shower person.) One thing that got talked about last week was getting her a bath bench to help with that. I could tell she hadn't bathed, nor really looked at herself in a mirror, because the sticky stuff from the electrodes on her chest in the hospital were still there. She thought there was residue from just one electrode. I could see at least four. During the procedure yesterday, I took a number of alcohol wipes and tried to wipe off what I could, but since it's on her chest the skin there is pretty sensitive and she didn't want me to get it all off, nor did I, since I had to wipe pretty firmly to do it. Like, there's no way she should have been able to miss these dark squares on her chest had she just looked at herself. Then again, it's clear she's not combing her hair. I know it was freshly coiffed on Friday; it likely hasn't been combed since. Grandma generally takes pride in how she looks, even if her fashion sense is unusual to most people's tastes, but since she's not leaving the house, she doesn't care. I'm seeing a fair amount of my grandfather in her at the moment and it's not a good thing. I know it's concerning mom, too.
On the plus side, it took me an hour and six minutes to get home yesterday. Traffic was awesome, and this was at a time that would normally be rush hour and take me far longer. Hooray holiday traffic. Typically, it's an hour and fifteen minutes door to door; in rush hour, it's more like an hour thirty. When I made it to Cougars Stadium in an hour, I was super impressed. If only traffic could be like that all the time.
After work today, mom went over to check on her mother; she hadn't been there since Saturday, and she likely wanted to know what was going on. With the weather not cooperating (see previous post), it took her a while to get there. She had texted me and dad earlier today to let us know she was going, so around 4:30 when I pulled my phone out, I asked if she was there yet; she was stuck in traffic. Dad had a wake to attend and left about an hour later (his former roommate's mother passed away last week--the roommate himself passed away within the past six months or so).
About 5:45, I get a call from mom, at grandma's: Grandma's not here.
...Not this again.
Okay, grandma's not there, but her car is. Mom had contacted her younger brother, who in turn had tried to call Sarah, but she didn't answer. Okay, chances are grandma took a medivan to her appointment. Would you like me to call Sarah's office to see if they can find out anything? Mom said sure. However, when I called, they knew who grandma was, but they didn't know anything about a van, because they don't do anything like that. ...Oh. I asked if they could get in touch with Sarah, and have her call grandma's house since I knew Sarah had the number and mom was there to answer. I then called mom to let her know, then called again to see if she'd tried calling the doctor's office to make sure grandma had gotten there. She did; they were closed. ...Oh. Well, I guess we sit and wait.
At 6 o'clock, the phone rings; grandma's home. Oh, thank goodness. I was worried we'd have to call the police and put her picture up on the news and all that time she'd just have been at the boat or something. She'd been telling me about one of her last gambling trips and she was itching to get back there. She just loves Horseshoe Casino in Hammond. Mom had called on her cell, as grandma was on her phone with Sarah. What had concerned mom was that grandma had left her cell phone at the house. Considering how new it is, grandma may not be comfortable with using it yet. Or she simply forgot it. Either way.
Not long after, mom called from grandma's house phone. Grandma was in the bathroom at the time. Apparently Sarah helped grandma arrange a "pink taxi," which I'm guessing is a ride for people under medical care, something like that.
...Mom came home as I was writing that last part. She was on the phone with Sarah when grandma arrived. Grandma had, in fact, gone to her appointment, but also went to the bank. The ATM apparently ate her card and then didn't give her money, and then traffic was terrible, so that's why she wasn't home when mom got there. Bad news: Grandma has another 31 days on the antibiotic. That sound you just heard was the collective groan of the family. Sarah is coming tomorrow, but I guess she can't come past that due to Medicare reasons. Grandma's reaction apparently was, well, I guess I'll just have to do it myself. Uh...no. BAD IDEA. My mother wants me to train her; I want mom to be trained by a nurse, which is what she should have done when, you know, we had the nurse there for that specific purpose. Yes, I realize we thought it was just for the weekend. It would have been good to be trained anyway. I am not a nurse. I should not be teaching you such things. And grandma...just no. Mom's all, oh, she knows all the steps! No, she really doesn't. Trust me. I've just spent five days doing this with her; she gets confused. (This whole part of the conversation led to yelling and swearing, so I'll leave it at that.)
Sarah and the physical therapist had been there earlier in the day. When I had talked with grandma over the weekend, she mentioned my older uncle and his girlfriend hadn't called at all to check in on her this entire time. Not once. She was not happy about that. Probably after I'd mentioned that mom had grandma's garage door opener, grandma called Older Uncle to ask for the other opener and set of keys back. (Mom was fine with that, because if they're not going to come over and help, then don't bother having a set.) They came while both Sarah and the PT were there, and made asses of themselves, to the point where, when mom and Sarah spoke later, Sarah went, the girlfriend is mean. Yeah. Glad it's not just the family that sees that. Sarah had to tell them, you shouldn't be arguing with your mother while she's receiving treatment. (Thank you, Sarah.) I think maybe Sarah or grandma had asked if they could take grandma to the doctor's appointment; they had "things to do." Yes, because the rest of the family just sits around eating bonbons all day.
At this point we have no idea what to do. Sarah will be there tomorrow; I'll go again Thursday. The good news is that grandma has a new port, so perhaps the infusions will be faster for the immediate future. That would be great for everyone. Mom's younger brother also talked to grandma and told her she was naughty for going out without telling anyone and without taking her cell phone, but on the plus side she got points for going to her appointment and getting herself a ride, instead of driving herself. I'd suggested mom post on Facebook to ask her friends if they've been in a similar situation, and to see what they did; she went, well, so-and-so's husband learned how to administer the meds and he did it for three weeks! Just like now, a family member had to do it, and he did it every day! Yes, and so-and-so's husband *lives* with her. Nobody lives with grandma. This was about the time it dissolved into yelling and swearing, so nothing is happening tonight. Just...ugh. Poor grandma.
Memorial Day was my last trip into the city to medicate grandma. I left from the parade/service, having scarfed down some food before walking to my car, and then drove to the city. Traffic was remarkably light and I made it in roughly an hour, which is fantastic. I also took another modified route, trying to find the most interesting ways to North Avenue; I discovered there's an unincorporated area called Flowerfield on Route 53 immediately east of where it crosses under 355. Like...really? I expect to see signs like this in the boonies, not next to civilization, so that was interesting.
Everything went pretty well with grandma, and we were both excited that Tuesday would be her last day. There was still a little confusion about her doctor's appointment on Tuesday; she'd written an appointment on her calendar, but didn't write a time, and I wasn't 100% convinced that she did have an appointment. Shortly before I left, there was this odd phone call after 5 PM from an out-of-state area code. It ended up being this sketchy message about an appointment at 2:15 PM today. She had me replay it for her and she sat there with this frown/scowl on her face listening to it, to where I thought she couldn't hear it properly. She was thinking she didn't hear the doctor's name or the place. Grandma, they didn't say it. (That's what made it sketchy. It basically went, "You have an appointment with doctor at place!" And yet it didn't give proper names. It was really weird.) She already had a note to call the doctor in the morning, and Sarah the nurse was going to come by, and I figured Sarah would call first thing in the morning. (I left Sarah a thank-you note. She was so helpful and caring, I wanted to make sure to express that to her.) Grandma, for her part, had me get her purse and she pulled out money for my trouble, insisting I take it. Grandma, consider this my birthday present to you; you don't need to give me money. She said, I will be very upset if you don't take it! Okay, fine. I immediately gave it to mom when I got home for the "grandma fund" in case we needed to get her groceries or something.
Grandma had yawned her way through her treatment, so as soon as we finished, she climbed into bed. But before I left, she said, don't tell anyone, but I'm going to drive myself to my appointment! Grandma, no. You shouldn't drive until the doctor clears you. Then I had a stroke of genius: Besides that, mom has your garage door opener. You can't get out. Grandma wasn't too thrilled to hear that: Why does she have that? I told her, so she can get into the building if you're asleep. You can't use a key to get in. (It's kind of a pain.) Grandma seemed put out by that thought, so I let her know that Sarah would likely be able to help her get a medivan or something similar to take her. What grandma didn't know is that, while mom took possession of the garage door opener, I had it in my purse in case *I* couldn't get in, but I figured grandma didn't need to know that. She's not the greatest driver on a good day. We'd rather she not drive when she's not near 100%. Besides, in her desperation to get out of her condo, she may well have tried to tackle me had she known I had the opener. But it's clear she's not entirely herself. She'll usually get kind of dressed up, and comb her hair, and bathe; she hasn't taken a bath since she's been home because she can't get in and out easily. (She's not a shower person.) One thing that got talked about last week was getting her a bath bench to help with that. I could tell she hadn't bathed, nor really looked at herself in a mirror, because the sticky stuff from the electrodes on her chest in the hospital were still there. She thought there was residue from just one electrode. I could see at least four. During the procedure yesterday, I took a number of alcohol wipes and tried to wipe off what I could, but since it's on her chest the skin there is pretty sensitive and she didn't want me to get it all off, nor did I, since I had to wipe pretty firmly to do it. Like, there's no way she should have been able to miss these dark squares on her chest had she just looked at herself. Then again, it's clear she's not combing her hair. I know it was freshly coiffed on Friday; it likely hasn't been combed since. Grandma generally takes pride in how she looks, even if her fashion sense is unusual to most people's tastes, but since she's not leaving the house, she doesn't care. I'm seeing a fair amount of my grandfather in her at the moment and it's not a good thing. I know it's concerning mom, too.
On the plus side, it took me an hour and six minutes to get home yesterday. Traffic was awesome, and this was at a time that would normally be rush hour and take me far longer. Hooray holiday traffic. Typically, it's an hour and fifteen minutes door to door; in rush hour, it's more like an hour thirty. When I made it to Cougars Stadium in an hour, I was super impressed. If only traffic could be like that all the time.
After work today, mom went over to check on her mother; she hadn't been there since Saturday, and she likely wanted to know what was going on. With the weather not cooperating (see previous post), it took her a while to get there. She had texted me and dad earlier today to let us know she was going, so around 4:30 when I pulled my phone out, I asked if she was there yet; she was stuck in traffic. Dad had a wake to attend and left about an hour later (his former roommate's mother passed away last week--the roommate himself passed away within the past six months or so).
About 5:45, I get a call from mom, at grandma's: Grandma's not here.
...Not this again.
Okay, grandma's not there, but her car is. Mom had contacted her younger brother, who in turn had tried to call Sarah, but she didn't answer. Okay, chances are grandma took a medivan to her appointment. Would you like me to call Sarah's office to see if they can find out anything? Mom said sure. However, when I called, they knew who grandma was, but they didn't know anything about a van, because they don't do anything like that. ...Oh. I asked if they could get in touch with Sarah, and have her call grandma's house since I knew Sarah had the number and mom was there to answer. I then called mom to let her know, then called again to see if she'd tried calling the doctor's office to make sure grandma had gotten there. She did; they were closed. ...Oh. Well, I guess we sit and wait.
At 6 o'clock, the phone rings; grandma's home. Oh, thank goodness. I was worried we'd have to call the police and put her picture up on the news and all that time she'd just have been at the boat or something. She'd been telling me about one of her last gambling trips and she was itching to get back there. She just loves Horseshoe Casino in Hammond. Mom had called on her cell, as grandma was on her phone with Sarah. What had concerned mom was that grandma had left her cell phone at the house. Considering how new it is, grandma may not be comfortable with using it yet. Or she simply forgot it. Either way.
Not long after, mom called from grandma's house phone. Grandma was in the bathroom at the time. Apparently Sarah helped grandma arrange a "pink taxi," which I'm guessing is a ride for people under medical care, something like that.
...Mom came home as I was writing that last part. She was on the phone with Sarah when grandma arrived. Grandma had, in fact, gone to her appointment, but also went to the bank. The ATM apparently ate her card and then didn't give her money, and then traffic was terrible, so that's why she wasn't home when mom got there. Bad news: Grandma has another 31 days on the antibiotic. That sound you just heard was the collective groan of the family. Sarah is coming tomorrow, but I guess she can't come past that due to Medicare reasons. Grandma's reaction apparently was, well, I guess I'll just have to do it myself. Uh...no. BAD IDEA. My mother wants me to train her; I want mom to be trained by a nurse, which is what she should have done when, you know, we had the nurse there for that specific purpose. Yes, I realize we thought it was just for the weekend. It would have been good to be trained anyway. I am not a nurse. I should not be teaching you such things. And grandma...just no. Mom's all, oh, she knows all the steps! No, she really doesn't. Trust me. I've just spent five days doing this with her; she gets confused. (This whole part of the conversation led to yelling and swearing, so I'll leave it at that.)
Sarah and the physical therapist had been there earlier in the day. When I had talked with grandma over the weekend, she mentioned my older uncle and his girlfriend hadn't called at all to check in on her this entire time. Not once. She was not happy about that. Probably after I'd mentioned that mom had grandma's garage door opener, grandma called Older Uncle to ask for the other opener and set of keys back. (Mom was fine with that, because if they're not going to come over and help, then don't bother having a set.) They came while both Sarah and the PT were there, and made asses of themselves, to the point where, when mom and Sarah spoke later, Sarah went, the girlfriend is mean. Yeah. Glad it's not just the family that sees that. Sarah had to tell them, you shouldn't be arguing with your mother while she's receiving treatment. (Thank you, Sarah.) I think maybe Sarah or grandma had asked if they could take grandma to the doctor's appointment; they had "things to do." Yes, because the rest of the family just sits around eating bonbons all day.
At this point we have no idea what to do. Sarah will be there tomorrow; I'll go again Thursday. The good news is that grandma has a new port, so perhaps the infusions will be faster for the immediate future. That would be great for everyone. Mom's younger brother also talked to grandma and told her she was naughty for going out without telling anyone and without taking her cell phone, but on the plus side she got points for going to her appointment and getting herself a ride, instead of driving herself. I'd suggested mom post on Facebook to ask her friends if they've been in a similar situation, and to see what they did; she went, well, so-and-so's husband learned how to administer the meds and he did it for three weeks! Just like now, a family member had to do it, and he did it every day! Yes, and so-and-so's husband *lives* with her. Nobody lives with grandma. This was about the time it dissolved into yelling and swearing, so nothing is happening tonight. Just...ugh. Poor grandma.