Easter 2016
As Easters go, this one wasn't so bad. Thanksgiving and Christmas definitely were worse in this most recent cycle of holidays. That's not to say it was *great*, but it beats Easter 2011, which basically was when all of my grandfather's woes started. Hard to believe it was nearly 5 years ago already. (Easter was very late that year--my uncle's birthday at the end of April. Easy to remember because of that.)
It's taken this whole holiday cycle for mom to finish dealing with her dad's stuff, a mess of stress she's glad to have nearly over with. There are still a few details to work out, but for the most part, she's done. Considering most people in this situation have to deal with things for six months to two years, four months isn't bad. She's made packets of information for her brothers, which her mom took with her when she left. She was going to see the younger brother later today, as the boys were going to help her with errands around her place, and she made arrangements to see the older one tomorrow. This involved several phone calls to mom's older brother, who has been the thorn in everyone's side in this situation, care of his roommate, yet he seemed cordial and I think he and the roomie were taken by surprise when mom called and the first thing she said was, "Happy Easter!" Of course, mom then spent the rest of the day rehashing everything that happened. Like, I seriously heard the same thing regarding something about the nursing home four times. At one point I walked over to my dad, in another room, and went, here's the dead horse, here's a stick, would you like to beat it?
Also, her relief at basically finishing with all the stuff meant that she was back to normal in terms of being a pest while we were trying to get dinner ready. Like, I know what I'm doing, I do not need help, and all she does is get in the way, yet when you point that out to her, she pouts like a little kid. Seriously, the way to help is to not be in the room. Then she's all, this is my house! Yes. Well, there is more to the house than the kitchen. Go discover it. And I was doing a *lot* of stuff today; in addition to part of the cooking, it's Sunday, which is laundry day, so I kept having to do that for a bit. That was in between making the salad, making deviled eggs, arranging my "Happy Easter!" Jigglers on a plate, doing the cranberry sauces (two cans), arranging the dyed eggs in a nice crystal-ish bowl, cooking all the frozen vegetables (what I was doing when grandma arrived), reheating the sweet potato casserole, making the crescent rolls, setting the table, and sweeping the floor so we had some semblance of clean to the house. Oh, and doing the dishes that kept piling up. I even kept up with them at dinner, so that I had a load of dishes going in the washer before we'd even put the food away, which was kind of impressive. Oh, yeah, and I made the stuffing, too, the fancy way, with an apple, an onion, two stalks of celery, and toasted walnuts. So...yeah, no surprise that after grandma left and most of the chores were done, I basically napped from 5-6 when I wasn't watching the news.
I just would have wished to have spent time with grandma, since she's kind of the reason we have holiday dinners anymore, but mom spent the whole time talking her ear off and rehashing all the Papa stuff. Yes, we get it, it's a big deal, but at the same time she went back to when he died and how he died and what happened in the weeks leading up to it and why he was put into hospice care. Dead horse, stick, just keep beating it. Granted, who knows how I'll be in the same situation, God forbid, but my goodness. Get a journal already. So I would have liked it to be a more normal holiday, but I guess in the immediate future that just isn't happening. And considering when Thanksgiving will fall this year--thanks to it being Leap Year, it'll be the anniversary of his death--I don't anticipate that holiday to be any better. But that's okay. It's all about the new normal. I just hope we can move past the beating of the dead horse by then--or at least keep the beating to a minimum.
It's taken this whole holiday cycle for mom to finish dealing with her dad's stuff, a mess of stress she's glad to have nearly over with. There are still a few details to work out, but for the most part, she's done. Considering most people in this situation have to deal with things for six months to two years, four months isn't bad. She's made packets of information for her brothers, which her mom took with her when she left. She was going to see the younger brother later today, as the boys were going to help her with errands around her place, and she made arrangements to see the older one tomorrow. This involved several phone calls to mom's older brother, who has been the thorn in everyone's side in this situation, care of his roommate, yet he seemed cordial and I think he and the roomie were taken by surprise when mom called and the first thing she said was, "Happy Easter!" Of course, mom then spent the rest of the day rehashing everything that happened. Like, I seriously heard the same thing regarding something about the nursing home four times. At one point I walked over to my dad, in another room, and went, here's the dead horse, here's a stick, would you like to beat it?
Also, her relief at basically finishing with all the stuff meant that she was back to normal in terms of being a pest while we were trying to get dinner ready. Like, I know what I'm doing, I do not need help, and all she does is get in the way, yet when you point that out to her, she pouts like a little kid. Seriously, the way to help is to not be in the room. Then she's all, this is my house! Yes. Well, there is more to the house than the kitchen. Go discover it. And I was doing a *lot* of stuff today; in addition to part of the cooking, it's Sunday, which is laundry day, so I kept having to do that for a bit. That was in between making the salad, making deviled eggs, arranging my "Happy Easter!" Jigglers on a plate, doing the cranberry sauces (two cans), arranging the dyed eggs in a nice crystal-ish bowl, cooking all the frozen vegetables (what I was doing when grandma arrived), reheating the sweet potato casserole, making the crescent rolls, setting the table, and sweeping the floor so we had some semblance of clean to the house. Oh, and doing the dishes that kept piling up. I even kept up with them at dinner, so that I had a load of dishes going in the washer before we'd even put the food away, which was kind of impressive. Oh, yeah, and I made the stuffing, too, the fancy way, with an apple, an onion, two stalks of celery, and toasted walnuts. So...yeah, no surprise that after grandma left and most of the chores were done, I basically napped from 5-6 when I wasn't watching the news.
I just would have wished to have spent time with grandma, since she's kind of the reason we have holiday dinners anymore, but mom spent the whole time talking her ear off and rehashing all the Papa stuff. Yes, we get it, it's a big deal, but at the same time she went back to when he died and how he died and what happened in the weeks leading up to it and why he was put into hospice care. Dead horse, stick, just keep beating it. Granted, who knows how I'll be in the same situation, God forbid, but my goodness. Get a journal already. So I would have liked it to be a more normal holiday, but I guess in the immediate future that just isn't happening. And considering when Thanksgiving will fall this year--thanks to it being Leap Year, it'll be the anniversary of his death--I don't anticipate that holiday to be any better. But that's okay. It's all about the new normal. I just hope we can move past the beating of the dead horse by then--or at least keep the beating to a minimum.