Death by warm clothing
This has been the coldest week all season. We're talking low single digits when I get in my car in the morning. Highs were lucky to hit 20F. This meant it was cold enough for me to put on nylons under my pants to keep warm, plus pull out the sweater my grandma gave me (via mom) for Christmas. They worked quite nicely...until they tried to kill me.
Well, okay, the nylons only made me severely uncomfortable, but the sweater? Attempted to choke me. It is a very warm sweater, and it's wool; it sheds like a Labrador. It's been too warm for much of the winter to wear it, so I was excited to experience cold-enough temps to put it on. But it sheds. And sheds. And sheds and sheds and sheds. I haven't worn it for two days yet found a clump of sweater hair on the floor today. I paid no attention to the shedding until a couple days ago, when I had someone on hold and went to pick up the phone again; when I went to speak, I must have breathed in immediately beforehand, and I discovered I couldn't talk and I couldn't breathe. I'd somehow inhaled hair. All I could do for a good thirty seconds was attempt to hack up a lung. Luckily the caller was not at all fazed, amazingly enough. The rest of the day, I could feel something in the back of my throat, but no amount of water drunk made it go away. Later that night, I attempted to check the back of my throat--not easy--and even felt around back there--also not easy. Didn't pull anything out but, you know, I could only reach so far. Still felt something yesterday, and even today, though I'm feeling better. There's still kind of an odd feeling in my chest and I'm worried there's wool in my lungs. I'm hoping it's just my imagination. This is definitely not how I imagined my demise.
Okay, so no more sweater, at least for the near future. But I still wore the nylons to work yesterday. I'd noticed my feet sort of hurt Tuesday after I got home; there's something with these nylons where they kind of pull up on my toes as the day progresses. Yesterday, only partway through the day, my feet were in such discomfort that it hurt to walk or stand. Naturally, I had to do a lot of walking and standing. I was about ready to gnaw my feet off by the end of the day. So today? No nylons. Screw it, my legs will be cold. And it was chillier this morning than yesterday, but I lived.
It might be time to move to a warmer climate. Or update my wardrobe. Po-tay-to, po-tah-to.
Well, okay, the nylons only made me severely uncomfortable, but the sweater? Attempted to choke me. It is a very warm sweater, and it's wool; it sheds like a Labrador. It's been too warm for much of the winter to wear it, so I was excited to experience cold-enough temps to put it on. But it sheds. And sheds. And sheds and sheds and sheds. I haven't worn it for two days yet found a clump of sweater hair on the floor today. I paid no attention to the shedding until a couple days ago, when I had someone on hold and went to pick up the phone again; when I went to speak, I must have breathed in immediately beforehand, and I discovered I couldn't talk and I couldn't breathe. I'd somehow inhaled hair. All I could do for a good thirty seconds was attempt to hack up a lung. Luckily the caller was not at all fazed, amazingly enough. The rest of the day, I could feel something in the back of my throat, but no amount of water drunk made it go away. Later that night, I attempted to check the back of my throat--not easy--and even felt around back there--also not easy. Didn't pull anything out but, you know, I could only reach so far. Still felt something yesterday, and even today, though I'm feeling better. There's still kind of an odd feeling in my chest and I'm worried there's wool in my lungs. I'm hoping it's just my imagination. This is definitely not how I imagined my demise.
Okay, so no more sweater, at least for the near future. But I still wore the nylons to work yesterday. I'd noticed my feet sort of hurt Tuesday after I got home; there's something with these nylons where they kind of pull up on my toes as the day progresses. Yesterday, only partway through the day, my feet were in such discomfort that it hurt to walk or stand. Naturally, I had to do a lot of walking and standing. I was about ready to gnaw my feet off by the end of the day. So today? No nylons. Screw it, my legs will be cold. And it was chillier this morning than yesterday, but I lived.
It might be time to move to a warmer climate. Or update my wardrobe. Po-tay-to, po-tah-to.