They Shoot Coughers Don't They?
Ever sat down to enjoy a performance and find it ruined by one nagging and rude detail, then think 'Maybe Hannibal had a point'?
In the old days, it was talking in the movie theater, coughing during the symphony, or grinding almonds with your teeth at a performance of Cabaret like a herd of mountain goats crunching their way through a thicket or a handful of pennies in a garbage disposal. *CoughIndefenseofShiathisonetimeCough* Now, we have modern technology to help us prove how boorish we can be.
That's not the only thing that can ruin a performance. You also have the people doing the performing. If they aren't up to the task, it can destroy the illusion and ruin everything. An ingenue who has the stage presence of plasterboard, the shrill rasp of an instrument played like Phillip Glass designed it, or Andrea Bocelli. That last one is extremely vexing, someone not knowing their limitations. Mariah Carey has a 7 octave range. Andrea sounds like a toad someone stepped on. Yet, for some reason, people still lick his ass like his shit tastes like Hersheys.
Com Te Partiro is written for someone with the vocal range beyond a Joe Mantegna monologue. Have someone smash your balls with a mallet if it gets you those high notes, otherwise, shut the hell up!
While searching for someone who could perform this piece on Youtube with justice, I came across a dozen different reality show performances. There were some well done pieces, but they always had the same fault that has grown from a gauche novelty, to a common demonstration of monstrous ignorance. Clapping, more specifically, clapping before the end of a piece/performance. Upon a time, it would get one banned from the theater. Lately, every jackenape feels it must be done at every rest in the piece or else...I'm not sure why. Do they think the performer is so insecure they must show their approval constantly or they will stop mid-act and just walk the fuck off the stage? I don't get it, and I shouldn't have to.
It is bad manners and extremely rude. Like a heckler in a comedy club, they're just an asshole and it makes everyone else wish they had a dagger to reenact the senate scene from Julius Caesar. But, they'd probably clap for every stab too.
There is just something about these actions that make you want to perform a public service and remove those offenders from the face of the Earth.
Jesus Christ. I can't even listen to a Three Tenors piece from '94. This is what happens when the moron facility gives out day passes.
Bugs Bunny knows how to handle inconsiderate assholes.
In the old days, it was talking in the movie theater, coughing during the symphony, or grinding almonds with your teeth at a performance of Cabaret like a herd of mountain goats crunching their way through a thicket or a handful of pennies in a garbage disposal. *CoughIndefenseofShiathisonetimeCough* Now, we have modern technology to help us prove how boorish we can be.
That's not the only thing that can ruin a performance. You also have the people doing the performing. If they aren't up to the task, it can destroy the illusion and ruin everything. An ingenue who has the stage presence of plasterboard, the shrill rasp of an instrument played like Phillip Glass designed it, or Andrea Bocelli. That last one is extremely vexing, someone not knowing their limitations. Mariah Carey has a 7 octave range. Andrea sounds like a toad someone stepped on. Yet, for some reason, people still lick his ass like his shit tastes like Hersheys.
Com Te Partiro is written for someone with the vocal range beyond a Joe Mantegna monologue. Have someone smash your balls with a mallet if it gets you those high notes, otherwise, shut the hell up!
While searching for someone who could perform this piece on Youtube with justice, I came across a dozen different reality show performances. There were some well done pieces, but they always had the same fault that has grown from a gauche novelty, to a common demonstration of monstrous ignorance. Clapping, more specifically, clapping before the end of a piece/performance. Upon a time, it would get one banned from the theater. Lately, every jackenape feels it must be done at every rest in the piece or else...I'm not sure why. Do they think the performer is so insecure they must show their approval constantly or they will stop mid-act and just walk the fuck off the stage? I don't get it, and I shouldn't have to.
It is bad manners and extremely rude. Like a heckler in a comedy club, they're just an asshole and it makes everyone else wish they had a dagger to reenact the senate scene from Julius Caesar. But, they'd probably clap for every stab too.
There is just something about these actions that make you want to perform a public service and remove those offenders from the face of the Earth.
Jesus Christ. I can't even listen to a Three Tenors piece from '94. This is what happens when the moron facility gives out day passes.
Bugs Bunny knows how to handle inconsiderate assholes.