Stop Typing, You Stupid Bitch. Just, Stop.
Okay, we get it, you're lazy. Writing is 'like, so harddddd, you guise!!!1! serialsly!'.
Coming up with an AU is difficult if you're not creative. So, most people who do it, simply tailor a few facts of the AU to the existing canon, throw in canon dialogue, and viola, shitty fanfic.
And following the rules of the English language is so damn difficult when you can barely speak it properly, like most Americans under a certain age. Things can so easily be ignored if it hampers your creative process. Basic things like keeping the paragraph to a single character and keeping the dialogue of the person speaking with that character's 'non-speaking part' is just too much to remember. You're an author, not an Engrish Major, duh!
Keeping things consistent is for pussies. You wouldn't want to do something so boring. Plot twists are cool, especially if they come out of nowhere. And who cares if you're making up something new along the way that conflicts with what you already wrote, they do it on TV in movies all the time.
Who cares about why things happen. They just conveniently happen, right. That wasn't the plot anyways, you wanted something that wasn't stupid and something needed to happen to make it happen. That's why Scotty told Spock his having Pon-Farr was so gay, because it was a stupid plot that people only get to have sex every seven years. WHICH, BTW, Doesn't that make you like a virgin again? Seven years, don't things close up and grow over like when you get your ears pierced if you don't use them? That's so gay!
Also, the characters speak like your friends because that's the way people speak, even in, like, the old days before they had dinosaurs, but after Jesus made the first gen iPod, or something. You want people who read it to be able to understand it, duh. So what if your teacher and everyone in the 'business' tells you otherwise. You know better. You don't have to be a perfect writer to sell books. Just look at that awful Dark Angel fanfic that whore James Patterson signed his name to. There's no way those characters would know how to talk like your friends do, but they do, and that makes them cool. Duh!
I think my brain just melted.
Coming up with an AU is difficult if you're not creative. So, most people who do it, simply tailor a few facts of the AU to the existing canon, throw in canon dialogue, and viola, shitty fanfic.
And following the rules of the English language is so damn difficult when you can barely speak it properly, like most Americans under a certain age. Things can so easily be ignored if it hampers your creative process. Basic things like keeping the paragraph to a single character and keeping the dialogue of the person speaking with that character's 'non-speaking part' is just too much to remember. You're an author, not an Engrish Major, duh!
Keeping things consistent is for pussies. You wouldn't want to do something so boring. Plot twists are cool, especially if they come out of nowhere. And who cares if you're making up something new along the way that conflicts with what you already wrote, they do it on TV in movies all the time.
Who cares about why things happen. They just conveniently happen, right. That wasn't the plot anyways, you wanted something that wasn't stupid and something needed to happen to make it happen. That's why Scotty told Spock his having Pon-Farr was so gay, because it was a stupid plot that people only get to have sex every seven years. WHICH, BTW, Doesn't that make you like a virgin again? Seven years, don't things close up and grow over like when you get your ears pierced if you don't use them? That's so gay!
Also, the characters speak like your friends because that's the way people speak, even in, like, the old days before they had dinosaurs, but after Jesus made the first gen iPod, or something. You want people who read it to be able to understand it, duh. So what if your teacher and everyone in the 'business' tells you otherwise. You know better. You don't have to be a perfect writer to sell books. Just look at that awful Dark Angel fanfic that whore James Patterson signed his name to. There's no way those characters would know how to talk like your friends do, but they do, and that makes them cool. Duh!
I think my brain just melted.