just thoughts - just not feeling very good
I look in the mirror and I feel so dissatisfied and I just want to cry and my stupid mother doesn’t help, I have been throwing up for 2 days and what does she say to me? Well at least you’ll lose some weight - well you know what I want to say back
“Well you know what Mother fuck you, because at least even though I am fat I have a personality, I know how to show compassion, I have loved something in my life, I have hobbies I have interests, and I can look past the weight on other people, I show what I am feeling and I know how to laugh, and I don’t mean just laugh I mean LAUGH I make people smile, people want to be a part of my life because they see something in, something past my weight or my flaws they see someone with a future, and what do you have? A broken family that you try to make appear to the outside world as perfect, while you fuck up everyone in it. You have screwed up the life of your children just because you never did what you wanted to and you can’t cry you have nothing and nothing to look forward because you will never be satisfied, and I don’t care anymore I don’t care if your not satisfied with me because I have come too far and worked too hard to let your judgement hurt me anymore - I am so over this - I’m so out”
I want to look in the mirror and see something good, I want to see something worth looking at
“Well you know what Mother fuck you, because at least even though I am fat I have a personality, I know how to show compassion, I have loved something in my life, I have hobbies I have interests, and I can look past the weight on other people, I show what I am feeling and I know how to laugh, and I don’t mean just laugh I mean LAUGH I make people smile, people want to be a part of my life because they see something in, something past my weight or my flaws they see someone with a future, and what do you have? A broken family that you try to make appear to the outside world as perfect, while you fuck up everyone in it. You have screwed up the life of your children just because you never did what you wanted to and you can’t cry you have nothing and nothing to look forward because you will never be satisfied, and I don’t care anymore I don’t care if your not satisfied with me because I have come too far and worked too hard to let your judgement hurt me anymore - I am so over this - I’m so out”
I want to look in the mirror and see something good, I want to see something worth looking at