I accidentally squished the cat, when my car started driving…

[i_eat_babys]

did you know that pomegranate juice has more beneficial qualities then cranberry juice? NO, its really true....my POM wonderful bottle told me so

Comments

[pudrick]

I'd buy you a roll of pennies.
...and a piece of chalk.

[i_eat_babys]

what color is the piece of chalk?

[pudrick]

Hot pink on one end, and lime green on the other.

[i_eat_babys]

HOLY SMOKES, you've got a deal! I hope you dont mind if i use it to scratch my unreachable middle back area...

[bugs_are_gay]

i'll buy you some grapefruit spoons to gouge your eyes out with.

:D

[i_eat_babys]

yeah, grapfruit spoons are great for gouging, the serrated edges are very versatile

[bugs_are_gay]

ye... thats why i'm getting you those kind chels. you deserve the best.

no squished cat

[whatevs_clever]

i was very excited to hear how you squished a cat when your car started driving....then i read your entry. to my dismay there was no talk of this so calles squished cat, nor your infamous car that suppesodely did the deed. this is false advertisement my friend. you are a law breaker...breakin the law breakin the law...bad boy bad boys watcha gonna do watcha gonna do when they come for you?
ps i would by you a new kitty to replace the so-called squished one....hehe

Re: no squished cat

[i_eat_babys]

i break the law EVERY DAY! as long as i'm alive, i'm gonna live illegal

Re: no squished cat

[pudrick]

Ditto.
I pushed an old lady down the stairs once.
I was all like, "I'm young, and I need to live it up!"

..But seriously, she deserved it. She was moving wayyyy too damn slow.

I started cracking up afterwards though, because I thought I heard her contacting Life Alert, and I swear I heard her say "Help I've fallen and I can't get up."

Re: no squished cat

[i_eat_babys]

yeah, im kind of a bad ass too. I usually kick dogs though...stupid little cunt scabs...grrrrrr

man, im pissy now. I need a broken Snapple bottle to jab into a dog!!!

[pudrick]

Yeah, you trippin', homes!