(no subject)
I'm back!!
Well i went to P.A. it was alright. i got to hang out with my cousins and go shopping. i didn't have much time to think. my ex kept calling me trying to get me to get back wityh him. i told him tha i needed time to think.
a short time before me and JOe hooked up, when we were just friends, me and my ex were trying to work things out as firends with the hope that we would get back together. he kept pushing me away saying that he never loved me and that i couldn't make him happy and that i never made him happy. he pushed me so far away form him to the point where i agreed that all we could ever be was friends.
before i went to P.A. i told him about Joe. he felt like i had betrayed him and was very angry with me. i didn't understand why. he was the one saying that we are only ever going to be friends every day for two weeks. so i stopped trying to make it work and i said okay if that is what you want.
after telling him about Joe he decided if he told me about something that he did while we were together that we would be even. he told me that not only did he make out with my best friend but my best friend, at the time, had given him a blowjob. this was about a year ago.
now he keeps telling me how much he loves me but how can i believe tha he loves me so much and that he has always loved me so much when he kept something like that from me. i, on the other hand, cant keep a seceret from him. he has always been my best friend and it has always been easy to talk to him. now it is just blah
He feels that what happened has opened his eyes and he finally realizes what he missed. i told him that i needed time to think about if i really wanted to take the chance to be in a relationship with him again. but he wouldn't give me time to breathe. i t old him that right now i cannot be with him. i dont want to give him any false hope or anythign i just want to have the time to sort things out for myself. right now it is not looking to good for him though.
i am sort of worried about Joe. everytime i call him he is soo tired. i never get a chance to speak to him. i wanted to tell him about everything that was going on. buyt i guess i'll wait until later. i t ink that he get's off at 5:30.
my mind is so scrambled with hurt and worry right now i dont know what to do. i try not to let things bother me but they do. they really hurt my feelings and i just want it all to go away.
Well i went to P.A. it was alright. i got to hang out with my cousins and go shopping. i didn't have much time to think. my ex kept calling me trying to get me to get back wityh him. i told him tha i needed time to think.
a short time before me and JOe hooked up, when we were just friends, me and my ex were trying to work things out as firends with the hope that we would get back together. he kept pushing me away saying that he never loved me and that i couldn't make him happy and that i never made him happy. he pushed me so far away form him to the point where i agreed that all we could ever be was friends.
before i went to P.A. i told him about Joe. he felt like i had betrayed him and was very angry with me. i didn't understand why. he was the one saying that we are only ever going to be friends every day for two weeks. so i stopped trying to make it work and i said okay if that is what you want.
after telling him about Joe he decided if he told me about something that he did while we were together that we would be even. he told me that not only did he make out with my best friend but my best friend, at the time, had given him a blowjob. this was about a year ago.
now he keeps telling me how much he loves me but how can i believe tha he loves me so much and that he has always loved me so much when he kept something like that from me. i, on the other hand, cant keep a seceret from him. he has always been my best friend and it has always been easy to talk to him. now it is just blah
He feels that what happened has opened his eyes and he finally realizes what he missed. i told him that i needed time to think about if i really wanted to take the chance to be in a relationship with him again. but he wouldn't give me time to breathe. i t old him that right now i cannot be with him. i dont want to give him any false hope or anythign i just want to have the time to sort things out for myself. right now it is not looking to good for him though.
i am sort of worried about Joe. everytime i call him he is soo tired. i never get a chance to speak to him. i wanted to tell him about everything that was going on. buyt i guess i'll wait until later. i t ink that he get's off at 5:30.
my mind is so scrambled with hurt and worry right now i dont know what to do. i try not to let things bother me but they do. they really hurt my feelings and i just want it all to go away.