Sep 24, 2006 19:38
hmm its been a good weekend little happy things add up. im going to realy miss mike this week (its freshers week so we wont see eachother for the week) doesnt sound that bad but it will feel like ages.
i did silly things and i regret them much as im told its not my fault what i did yesterday was my fault and im sure il get found out sooner or later but im not sure where i stand on that i supose this is a break point of bad habbits or maybe a culmination of revenge paranoia meh il deal with it next week.
going to see lordi and disturbed in october looking forward to it.
i have irational fear but i know what its caused by in my mind so its not a huge problem. im thinking into things again trying to have a plan B an escape route because i know now im not in controle of me being hurt but sadly my defence is to hurt back and me feeling thretend is leting me plan how to escape and hurt in retaliation. hmmm thought process not good.
col tommorow i dont want to go in my heads definatly just not there i crave for other things and so my mind focuses on those things. yeah im going in to deep but in simple terms i dont want to go to college.
i need a long break i dont like being in with those people and everything is screaming to find an escape route because i can feel my patience running out. lots to be glad about thos so there you go anyway i ned sleep im thinking too much and as we all know sleep fixes everything in the world but on the whole im happy its just little bits im going to blow off about. my neck aches and no doubt it wil be like stone tommorow. im learning very very slowly to grind dance. mike grind danced with me so im very very happy since he did it for me because he doesnt like dancing.im going to miss him so much or maybe i already am.