The Will to Move
Days Without
Overeating: 0
Caffeine: 2
Alcohol: 16
Marijuana: 4
The more I think about what I have to do (find a job, clean my room), the more I want to avoid it. My head hurts. I think I need caffeine. Or I'm going through Seroquel and Effexor withdrawal. Again, I ate an entire small pizza and cinna pie. I overeat to avoid my life. I think it's flour and sugar withdrawal. Does that mean I should eat another pizza?
All I want to do these days is play sudoku and sleep. Dear god. I want to see my boy, but he's going through his own shit, and we need to learn how not to function together codependently. I complain to him about how he hangs out with his loser friends and how he smokes pot and does ecstasy and doesn't want to take the next step. That is, get a job, have me move in with him, get married, start a family, and such. That's a big pill to swallow, I suppose. I choke when I think about getting a job. But I need to act, lest I work at Dollar Tree for a meager wage.
I'm starting to think that my life sucks. Not that it's horrible -- I have a roof over my head, enough food to eat, plenty of clothes to wear, all my limbs entact, and people who care about me. It's just that I'm not getting anything important or even interesting done. Sleep and sudoku, I said. There must be more to life.
That's it, I'm looking for a job. Even if it is a lowly CSR at a call center.
Overeating: 0
Caffeine: 2
Alcohol: 16
Marijuana: 4
The more I think about what I have to do (find a job, clean my room), the more I want to avoid it. My head hurts. I think I need caffeine. Or I'm going through Seroquel and Effexor withdrawal. Again, I ate an entire small pizza and cinna pie. I overeat to avoid my life. I think it's flour and sugar withdrawal. Does that mean I should eat another pizza?
All I want to do these days is play sudoku and sleep. Dear god. I want to see my boy, but he's going through his own shit, and we need to learn how not to function together codependently. I complain to him about how he hangs out with his loser friends and how he smokes pot and does ecstasy and doesn't want to take the next step. That is, get a job, have me move in with him, get married, start a family, and such. That's a big pill to swallow, I suppose. I choke when I think about getting a job. But I need to act, lest I work at Dollar Tree for a meager wage.
I'm starting to think that my life sucks. Not that it's horrible -- I have a roof over my head, enough food to eat, plenty of clothes to wear, all my limbs entact, and people who care about me. It's just that I'm not getting anything important or even interesting done. Sleep and sudoku, I said. There must be more to life.
That's it, I'm looking for a job. Even if it is a lowly CSR at a call center.