Fandom VS Marriage: Loving Hyde to Death
It's been bothering me for a while.
I'm a fangirl and proud of it. It's not something to be ashamed of.
But there's also a fact that I'm a woman. Someday I might get married and having children.
I wonder what'll happen to me when the time comes.
Will I be able to stop fangirling in order not to hurt my husband's feeling?
Will my husband understand my status as a fangirl? Will he let me be a fangirl even after we get married? Will he still let me buy my favorite artists' stuffs?
Those questions really bother me lately. And I'm really scared. Really.
I don't know what my life will turn out to be if I stop fangirling. I might be exaggerating but I have been living as fangirl for almost half of my life. So it's in my blood.
I need L'Arc songs to maintain my sanity. My job is quite stressing so I need something to distract my mind. That way, I won't be distressed. And L'Arc songs are my scapegoat. I don't what will happen if they are taken away from me.
Recently, I wrote a news that mentioned someone named Matsuyama Hidenori. I just typed Matsuyama Hide and my hands automatically typed -to- after it. Oh yeah, I did it unconsciously. I really didn't mean to type "Hideto", but my hands moved before my brain. It proves that the boys are deeply carved in my heart.
I admit that I have distracted to many boys right before L'Arc's hiatus. E.g. Mizushima Hiro, Nakamura Yuuichi, Yamamoto Shouma, Hamao Kyosuke, kannivalism, and my recent interest Nakayama Yuma. But eventually, my heart longs for L'Arc.
Someday, I might have to remove all of my precious collections. Someday, I might not be able to fangirl as much as I do now. But I just want to enjoy my current life. Hopefully, I can be fangirl forever.
I'm a fangirl and proud of it. It's not something to be ashamed of.
But there's also a fact that I'm a woman. Someday I might get married and having children.
I wonder what'll happen to me when the time comes.
Will I be able to stop fangirling in order not to hurt my husband's feeling?
Will my husband understand my status as a fangirl? Will he let me be a fangirl even after we get married? Will he still let me buy my favorite artists' stuffs?
Those questions really bother me lately. And I'm really scared. Really.
I don't know what my life will turn out to be if I stop fangirling. I might be exaggerating but I have been living as fangirl for almost half of my life. So it's in my blood.
I need L'Arc songs to maintain my sanity. My job is quite stressing so I need something to distract my mind. That way, I won't be distressed. And L'Arc songs are my scapegoat. I don't what will happen if they are taken away from me.
Recently, I wrote a news that mentioned someone named Matsuyama Hidenori. I just typed Matsuyama Hide and my hands automatically typed -to- after it. Oh yeah, I did it unconsciously. I really didn't mean to type "Hideto", but my hands moved before my brain. It proves that the boys are deeply carved in my heart.
I admit that I have distracted to many boys right before L'Arc's hiatus. E.g. Mizushima Hiro, Nakamura Yuuichi, Yamamoto Shouma, Hamao Kyosuke, kannivalism, and my recent interest Nakayama Yuma. But eventually, my heart longs for L'Arc.
Someday, I might have to remove all of my precious collections. Someday, I might not be able to fangirl as much as I do now. But I just want to enjoy my current life. Hopefully, I can be fangirl forever.