Five recurring dreams you've had.
1. Zelda is so small against the sheets, twisted up in the pale blue linens. He’s a Healer, and one of the best. His wife had been one. His daughter was training to be one. They’re an entire family of Healers and somehow that doesn’t matter at all as he stares at his little girl, his only child and wonders why he can’t save her. The Healer is asking for him to choose, the son or his daughter, and he thinks this is the worst thing that he has to do. Ever.
They put that quiet baby in his arms a few hours later, as he’s saying goodbye to his daughter. It's just them now.
2. He’s growing up too fast. Matthias can see him in his dreams. That man he’ll be.
Matthew will have blond hair, bright vivid eyes, and a smile just like Fern’s. He’s going to be just as spirited as his mother, just as foolhardy. Matthias dreams of all those nights he’s going to be kept up, worrying. All those fights, he can’t wait to have. And when he’s older, if he’s lucky. He sees the children Matthew will have and he knows his grandson will carry on the name.
3. The dogs are barking and Matthias is shaving. He keeps telling Matthew to get ready for bed but the boy is stubborn. He’s playing with his dogs. Matthias calls out to him again as he shaves around his scar tissue. The dogs are barking and the sunroom’s door is open. Matthias can feel the breeze from the bathroom.
He walks out into room to investigate.
4. Fern is sitting on the bed, watching him shave. Her eyes are so sad and resigned that it makes him wonder what’s gotten her so thoughtful. She’s holding something in her hands, running it over in her palms. Those sad eyes never leave him and even though he asks for her forgiveness, even though he tells her to listen, and he says he’s doing it for her, for Zelda, and Matthew- he can’t seem to get her to listen.
She just stares at him, broken and distant.
5. The dogs are barking. He puts down the straight razor the moment he hears them barking, finding Matthew still perfect in the sitting room. He picks him up. Cradling the boy. He tells him, it’ll be okay. He’ll be safe. He is his grandson and he loves him. No matter what. He asks forgiveness for being gone so long, for not holding him but he has him now and he’s safe.
He wakes up before the boy answers.
They put that quiet baby in his arms a few hours later, as he’s saying goodbye to his daughter. It's just them now.
2. He’s growing up too fast. Matthias can see him in his dreams. That man he’ll be.
Matthew will have blond hair, bright vivid eyes, and a smile just like Fern’s. He’s going to be just as spirited as his mother, just as foolhardy. Matthias dreams of all those nights he’s going to be kept up, worrying. All those fights, he can’t wait to have. And when he’s older, if he’s lucky. He sees the children Matthew will have and he knows his grandson will carry on the name.
3. The dogs are barking and Matthias is shaving. He keeps telling Matthew to get ready for bed but the boy is stubborn. He’s playing with his dogs. Matthias calls out to him again as he shaves around his scar tissue. The dogs are barking and the sunroom’s door is open. Matthias can feel the breeze from the bathroom.
He walks out into room to investigate.
4. Fern is sitting on the bed, watching him shave. Her eyes are so sad and resigned that it makes him wonder what’s gotten her so thoughtful. She’s holding something in her hands, running it over in her palms. Those sad eyes never leave him and even though he asks for her forgiveness, even though he tells her to listen, and he says he’s doing it for her, for Zelda, and Matthew- he can’t seem to get her to listen.
She just stares at him, broken and distant.
5. The dogs are barking. He puts down the straight razor the moment he hears them barking, finding Matthew still perfect in the sitting room. He picks him up. Cradling the boy. He tells him, it’ll be okay. He’ll be safe. He is his grandson and he loves him. No matter what. He asks forgiveness for being gone so long, for not holding him but he has him now and he’s safe.
He wakes up before the boy answers.