(no subject)
"she says that love is for fools that fall behind, and can i be a friend, we'll forget the past but maybe i'm not able, till i break at the bend, we're here and now but will we ever be again? cause i have found all that shimmers in this world is sure to fade."
I am so good at lying to myself. So great at pretending I'm fine with everything...but thoughts take MONTHS to leave my mind. I linger on everything, and I know it's stupid, honestly, but things are just stuck there. Triggered by the slightest move, scent, sound of a word.
I don't want more. I swear to God I don't. But I do want peace, an apology, a forgetting of wrongs done.
Never again will I deal with the shit that's been dealt to me. Fuck that.
In fact, fuck the whole first semester of my college career. From the goddamned hurricane destroying the one dream I thought could never be taken away to the end of this demeaning relationship, and all of the drinking and confusion and self-hatred and parental fighting and family illness and fake friends and bullshit in between.
I am so good at lying to myself. So great at pretending I'm fine with everything...but thoughts take MONTHS to leave my mind. I linger on everything, and I know it's stupid, honestly, but things are just stuck there. Triggered by the slightest move, scent, sound of a word.
I don't want more. I swear to God I don't. But I do want peace, an apology, a forgetting of wrongs done.
Never again will I deal with the shit that's been dealt to me. Fuck that.
In fact, fuck the whole first semester of my college career. From the goddamned hurricane destroying the one dream I thought could never be taken away to the end of this demeaning relationship, and all of the drinking and confusion and self-hatred and parental fighting and family illness and fake friends and bullshit in between.