people come...and go
So this will be my reflection on the past...events i guess.
It's funny though. i have all these emotions and feelings built up inside me but i have no idea how to express them. more than likely some people will be put down but hey...these people have been putting me down so it's their turn to be in my shoes.
First off...I'd like to say that high school really changes you. Coming from public schools, you lose and gain friends continuously and there's really no way to avoid that. Transitioning from middle school to high school was a difficult time for me. I was changing locations. Classes were going to be different because of the programs that were offered. and most of all, friendships were going to be shifted around.
There was one person in middle school that i loved. she was like a sister to me. We would hang out a few times a week, go shopping, gossip, etc. Then when high school came up over the horizon, she and i both changed. She was in the International Studies program and i was doing a few honor courses as well as regular classes, and JROTC. She met new people, i met new people. Basically, our friendship fell apart. We did have a few classes together and we did hang out some at the local starbucks, but basically, the relationship we had was nonexistent.
This gap continued to grow. She became the popular, soccer wonder, while i was in the background not really doing anything. We grew apart over the years and now, she barely says hi to me.
It hurts though. She used to be my best friend but now...she's someone else's and she barely notices me.
In a way, i have changed since middle school. My fashion sense has changed, i party more, go to local band's concerts and hang out with people who are...odd. maybe i'm more like them than i thought.
part of me wishes i could go back to the beginning of high school and start it all over. part of me wishes i was like those girls who leave and go to willy's after school with all the guys, who have boyfriends, who...are pretty.
maybe that's it. i'm self-conscious and i have a hard time doing stuff with other people because of it. i wish there was someway i could get over that step. right now, i'm just looking at it with hopeful eyes. actually, i've always wondered if i would ever be accepted into their group of friends but now that the school year is over, i realize that i never will be.
i'll probably look back on this entry 10 years from now and laugh cause i'm being like a stupid teenage girl who has basically no life.
i dont know. i guess i have nothing else to say. if i do i'll post some more.
It's funny though. i have all these emotions and feelings built up inside me but i have no idea how to express them. more than likely some people will be put down but hey...these people have been putting me down so it's their turn to be in my shoes.
First off...I'd like to say that high school really changes you. Coming from public schools, you lose and gain friends continuously and there's really no way to avoid that. Transitioning from middle school to high school was a difficult time for me. I was changing locations. Classes were going to be different because of the programs that were offered. and most of all, friendships were going to be shifted around.
There was one person in middle school that i loved. she was like a sister to me. We would hang out a few times a week, go shopping, gossip, etc. Then when high school came up over the horizon, she and i both changed. She was in the International Studies program and i was doing a few honor courses as well as regular classes, and JROTC. She met new people, i met new people. Basically, our friendship fell apart. We did have a few classes together and we did hang out some at the local starbucks, but basically, the relationship we had was nonexistent.
This gap continued to grow. She became the popular, soccer wonder, while i was in the background not really doing anything. We grew apart over the years and now, she barely says hi to me.
It hurts though. She used to be my best friend but now...she's someone else's and she barely notices me.
In a way, i have changed since middle school. My fashion sense has changed, i party more, go to local band's concerts and hang out with people who are...odd. maybe i'm more like them than i thought.
part of me wishes i could go back to the beginning of high school and start it all over. part of me wishes i was like those girls who leave and go to willy's after school with all the guys, who have boyfriends, who...are pretty.
maybe that's it. i'm self-conscious and i have a hard time doing stuff with other people because of it. i wish there was someway i could get over that step. right now, i'm just looking at it with hopeful eyes. actually, i've always wondered if i would ever be accepted into their group of friends but now that the school year is over, i realize that i never will be.
i'll probably look back on this entry 10 years from now and laugh cause i'm being like a stupid teenage girl who has basically no life.
i dont know. i guess i have nothing else to say. if i do i'll post some more.