ill eat your heart out, so you feel my pain
i was going to make a "im bored" entry, and fill it with pics from the last two days.
i have no feeling right now.
my eyes and nose hurt so bad. i've been bawling for 2 hours. and i was just left there. so final word. i hate that i fucking love him so much. it was just another stupid fight, one of the ones that we'd both forget about within five minutes and start on a new subject. but for some reason this one turned into us being over. actually being over. no more us. i freaked out. literally. i hyperventilated. he was sorry. i hate this. i want to go drive. i have no gas in my car. i feel VERY alone. i can't talk to ANYONE about this. no one is around, no one cares. he's asleep. he fell asleep while we were talking. it never had an ending. im so confused and lost. whenever i get mad at him, i always think "i can do better, he's just an asshole to me". when the time comes for it though, i can't do it. i don't want better. yes, i'd like to be treated better, i'd like to be beautiful, but from him. i know its in him. i know im in his heart. ugh, i want the new year to come. get out of this one already, get away from that dreaded resolution of his. i feel like i'm not good enough. all my hope was stolen from me. i feel to empty, i feel like a massive pile of shit. horrid. worthless. ugly. inside and out. AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH i want to scream so loud. i want to fucking wake him up. shit, i dont want to cry anymore..... but there i go again. god damnit. fuck everything. seriously, fuck my life. im not good enough. i never have, so why should i ever? im not beatiful. im not fun. im not anything. AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. WAKE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! figure yourself out and get back here. get back to my heart. or rather, give it back, we can share. just not now, ...... not now.
christmas is in 10 days, what an amazing gift. oh, you'll still buy me something? don't waste your money. i am non existant. fuck i love you.
i have no feeling right now.
my eyes and nose hurt so bad. i've been bawling for 2 hours. and i was just left there. so final word. i hate that i fucking love him so much. it was just another stupid fight, one of the ones that we'd both forget about within five minutes and start on a new subject. but for some reason this one turned into us being over. actually being over. no more us. i freaked out. literally. i hyperventilated. he was sorry. i hate this. i want to go drive. i have no gas in my car. i feel VERY alone. i can't talk to ANYONE about this. no one is around, no one cares. he's asleep. he fell asleep while we were talking. it never had an ending. im so confused and lost. whenever i get mad at him, i always think "i can do better, he's just an asshole to me". when the time comes for it though, i can't do it. i don't want better. yes, i'd like to be treated better, i'd like to be beautiful, but from him. i know its in him. i know im in his heart. ugh, i want the new year to come. get out of this one already, get away from that dreaded resolution of his. i feel like i'm not good enough. all my hope was stolen from me. i feel to empty, i feel like a massive pile of shit. horrid. worthless. ugly. inside and out. AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH i want to scream so loud. i want to fucking wake him up. shit, i dont want to cry anymore..... but there i go again. god damnit. fuck everything. seriously, fuck my life. im not good enough. i never have, so why should i ever? im not beatiful. im not fun. im not anything. AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. WAKE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! figure yourself out and get back here. get back to my heart. or rather, give it back, we can share. just not now, ...... not now.
christmas is in 10 days, what an amazing gift. oh, you'll still buy me something? don't waste your money. i am non existant. fuck i love you.