i can't even think of a title for this . . . wookie nookie would probably be appropriate
i have a dream.
in this dream, i go to las vegas and wed hankshiny at the pirate hotel. but we will not be wed by elvis. oh no. we will be wed by OBI-WAN MOTHERFUCKING KENOBI.
okay, so maybe i'm a bit naive. well, make that super fucking naive. because i sort of assumed that there weren't that many star wars themed weddings out there. I WAS WRONG.
if you google the words "star wars wedding", you will get an assortment of retina-scorching photos. apparently, every fanboy out there has a star wars-themed wedding! who would have thought there were that many tolerant brides?
this whole spiel was inspired by an associated press release about such a wedding. here is the picture that came with the story - sorry it's so small, for some reason flickr won't let me upload the larger size.
"Damien Metz, 42, and Jamie Metz, 40, of Las Vegas are wed in a one-of-a-kind "Star Wars" ceremony Saturday, Sept. 9, at Graceland Wedding Chapel in Las Vegas. Dozens of guests attended the wedding, which included Darth Vader as witness, Chewbacca as best man and Wicket the Ewok as ring bearer."
see, i KNOW i should not be surprised by this. but i just assumed that no one was really crazy enough to have a full-out star wars wedding. to reiterate: I WAS WRONG.
(and fucking WICKET THE EWOK is the ringbearer?? that is truly lame. i can handle wookies, and stormtroopers, but an ewok? no way.)
there are entire badly designed websites about star wars weddings. there are forums about planning your star wars wedding. there are (unsurprisingly) anti-star wars wedding forums.
of course, this has ruined all my plans! they have all come to naught! in an attempt to purge, here are the highlights of what i found on the internet.
erik stormtrooper is the first example - his wedding appears to have been relatively restrained, in that he is wearing a tux and not attempting a jumpsuit or anything with a cloak.
the invitation:
here is their wedding cake!
the cake topper has a princess leia action figure with a veil on holding a LEASH ATTACHED TO THE COLLAR of a stormtrooper (who may be either han or luke when they were running around in stormtrooper armor). dear god.
of course, no star wars wedding would be complete without a lightsaber battle.
this is my favorite website! it's a geocities website too, which just puts it over the edge of madness into INSANITY.
http://www.geocities.com/jediwedding/index.html
the groom had a custom lightsaber. the bride had a very ugly dress. THERE WAS A JEDI RECESSIONAL. and an arch of sabers.
i'm cutting and pasting the entire synopsis of the wedding because it is priceless. also, you should look at the photo section for the guest photos. yes, there was a boba fett present. and darth maul.
"The Groom wore a hybrid between a white Vader and Maul outfit, that he made and designed himself. Janell designed and made her gown and headpiece to resemble a Leia/Amidala type ensemble. The bridesmaid/"queen's handmaidens" wore robes designed and made by Janell, as did the flower girl. The groomsmen, ringbearer, reader, and photographer wore episode 1 style jedi knight outfits, each made by the wearer with the exception of Janell's sons, Aaron and Ryan. Michael made their costumes. Michael was escorted down the aisle by two Blue Guardsmen as seen in Episode 1, to the tune of the end theme of Star Wars: A New Hope. They each made their helmets and rifles while bridesmaid Tammy Olsen created their robes and undersuits. The minister wore a black jedi type cape over his suit, and many of the guests came dressed in Star Wars costumes that ranged from Admiral Ackbar to Boba Fett, Darth Vader to Yoda.
Droids including a hangar deck droid, spy droid as seen in episode 1 used by Darth Maul, and a replica R2D2 were on hand to add atmosphere. The ringbearer carried a glowing orb with the rings suspended within rather than the traditional pillow. The honor guard snapping to attention and turning to face the rear heralded the entrance of the bride, accompanied by the Star Wars Main Title theme. When the minister asked: "If anyone objects, speak now…", Duel of the Fates struck up and Darth Vader strode forward in protest. After the honor guard and several jedi pulled their weapons on him and the groom threw a warning glance, the sith lord stepped back and the ceremony resumed among amused chuckles and nods from our guests. The rest of the ceremony was fairly traditional and included a modified Unity Candle ceremony that I designed to include each of my six children. (We used "Princess Leia's Theme" for the candlelighting music.) When it was recessional time, the new family exchanged hugs while jedi and honor guard lined up to form an Arch of Lightsabers through which the wedding party exited to a medley of End Celebration Themes from Return of the Jedi and Episode 1. And yes, when the recessional concluded guests were prompted to exit with the onset of the end credits music.
Guests were escorted to the adjoining reception area, where the theme continued. Our cake topper included Kenner Star Wars figures that we re sculpted, painted, and modified to resemble ourselves and our costumes. Droids stood by to guard the cake. Our centerpieces were water filled globes filled with iridescent "seaweed" and colored neon light-up sticks to resemble the dramatic underwater Gungan City from Episode 1. And because so many of our friends costume, we displayed large montages of photos taken over the years at various competitions, events, and gatherings. I managed to include at least one photo of almost every guest. The montage was a big hit. Our friend Tim Justice set up digital camera equipment and did souvenir photos for anyone wanting one during the evening. With all the people dressed up and in good spirits, this was a popular activity.
We were announced in with more Star Wars music, but then reverted to secular hits for the remainder of the evening. Because of the tie-in with the underwater city, we made sure to have plenty of bubbles on hand which were used liberally during our First Dance. We did not use a lightsaber to actually cut our cake, but we did pose with one as if we were, then switched.
Time passed all too quickly and soon it was over. We spent our honeymoon at Disneyland, the place our costuming group had been visiting when our romance officially blossomed.
Many of our guests told us it was the most fun they'd ever had at a wedding. It truly was a magical day for everyone, especially Michael and me."
here is a forum discussion of star wars quotes you can use in wedding toasts.
http://forums.starwars.com/thread.jspa?messageID=14237545
and i leave you with this:
really, how am i ever going to live up to this?
EDIT: also, i did a very large friends cut. i need to get off the internet, it is distracting me from my problems. if i have removed you, please remove me in turn. i kept the people i talk to regularly . . . this is nothing personal, it's my own fault.
in this dream, i go to las vegas and wed hankshiny at the pirate hotel. but we will not be wed by elvis. oh no. we will be wed by OBI-WAN MOTHERFUCKING KENOBI.
okay, so maybe i'm a bit naive. well, make that super fucking naive. because i sort of assumed that there weren't that many star wars themed weddings out there. I WAS WRONG.
if you google the words "star wars wedding", you will get an assortment of retina-scorching photos. apparently, every fanboy out there has a star wars-themed wedding! who would have thought there were that many tolerant brides?
this whole spiel was inspired by an associated press release about such a wedding. here is the picture that came with the story - sorry it's so small, for some reason flickr won't let me upload the larger size.
"Damien Metz, 42, and Jamie Metz, 40, of Las Vegas are wed in a one-of-a-kind "Star Wars" ceremony Saturday, Sept. 9, at Graceland Wedding Chapel in Las Vegas. Dozens of guests attended the wedding, which included Darth Vader as witness, Chewbacca as best man and Wicket the Ewok as ring bearer."
see, i KNOW i should not be surprised by this. but i just assumed that no one was really crazy enough to have a full-out star wars wedding. to reiterate: I WAS WRONG.
(and fucking WICKET THE EWOK is the ringbearer?? that is truly lame. i can handle wookies, and stormtroopers, but an ewok? no way.)
there are entire badly designed websites about star wars weddings. there are forums about planning your star wars wedding. there are (unsurprisingly) anti-star wars wedding forums.
of course, this has ruined all my plans! they have all come to naught! in an attempt to purge, here are the highlights of what i found on the internet.
erik stormtrooper is the first example - his wedding appears to have been relatively restrained, in that he is wearing a tux and not attempting a jumpsuit or anything with a cloak.
the invitation:
here is their wedding cake!
the cake topper has a princess leia action figure with a veil on holding a LEASH ATTACHED TO THE COLLAR of a stormtrooper (who may be either han or luke when they were running around in stormtrooper armor). dear god.
of course, no star wars wedding would be complete without a lightsaber battle.
this is my favorite website! it's a geocities website too, which just puts it over the edge of madness into INSANITY.
http://www.geocities.com/jediwedding/index.html
the groom had a custom lightsaber. the bride had a very ugly dress. THERE WAS A JEDI RECESSIONAL. and an arch of sabers.
i'm cutting and pasting the entire synopsis of the wedding because it is priceless. also, you should look at the photo section for the guest photos. yes, there was a boba fett present. and darth maul.
"The Groom wore a hybrid between a white Vader and Maul outfit, that he made and designed himself. Janell designed and made her gown and headpiece to resemble a Leia/Amidala type ensemble. The bridesmaid/"queen's handmaidens" wore robes designed and made by Janell, as did the flower girl. The groomsmen, ringbearer, reader, and photographer wore episode 1 style jedi knight outfits, each made by the wearer with the exception of Janell's sons, Aaron and Ryan. Michael made their costumes. Michael was escorted down the aisle by two Blue Guardsmen as seen in Episode 1, to the tune of the end theme of Star Wars: A New Hope. They each made their helmets and rifles while bridesmaid Tammy Olsen created their robes and undersuits. The minister wore a black jedi type cape over his suit, and many of the guests came dressed in Star Wars costumes that ranged from Admiral Ackbar to Boba Fett, Darth Vader to Yoda.
Droids including a hangar deck droid, spy droid as seen in episode 1 used by Darth Maul, and a replica R2D2 were on hand to add atmosphere. The ringbearer carried a glowing orb with the rings suspended within rather than the traditional pillow. The honor guard snapping to attention and turning to face the rear heralded the entrance of the bride, accompanied by the Star Wars Main Title theme. When the minister asked: "If anyone objects, speak now…", Duel of the Fates struck up and Darth Vader strode forward in protest. After the honor guard and several jedi pulled their weapons on him and the groom threw a warning glance, the sith lord stepped back and the ceremony resumed among amused chuckles and nods from our guests. The rest of the ceremony was fairly traditional and included a modified Unity Candle ceremony that I designed to include each of my six children. (We used "Princess Leia's Theme" for the candlelighting music.) When it was recessional time, the new family exchanged hugs while jedi and honor guard lined up to form an Arch of Lightsabers through which the wedding party exited to a medley of End Celebration Themes from Return of the Jedi and Episode 1. And yes, when the recessional concluded guests were prompted to exit with the onset of the end credits music.
Guests were escorted to the adjoining reception area, where the theme continued. Our cake topper included Kenner Star Wars figures that we re sculpted, painted, and modified to resemble ourselves and our costumes. Droids stood by to guard the cake. Our centerpieces were water filled globes filled with iridescent "seaweed" and colored neon light-up sticks to resemble the dramatic underwater Gungan City from Episode 1. And because so many of our friends costume, we displayed large montages of photos taken over the years at various competitions, events, and gatherings. I managed to include at least one photo of almost every guest. The montage was a big hit. Our friend Tim Justice set up digital camera equipment and did souvenir photos for anyone wanting one during the evening. With all the people dressed up and in good spirits, this was a popular activity.
We were announced in with more Star Wars music, but then reverted to secular hits for the remainder of the evening. Because of the tie-in with the underwater city, we made sure to have plenty of bubbles on hand which were used liberally during our First Dance. We did not use a lightsaber to actually cut our cake, but we did pose with one as if we were, then switched.
Time passed all too quickly and soon it was over. We spent our honeymoon at Disneyland, the place our costuming group had been visiting when our romance officially blossomed.
Many of our guests told us it was the most fun they'd ever had at a wedding. It truly was a magical day for everyone, especially Michael and me."
here is a forum discussion of star wars quotes you can use in wedding toasts.
http://forums.starwars.com/thread.jspa?messageID=14237545
and i leave you with this:
really, how am i ever going to live up to this?
EDIT: also, i did a very large friends cut. i need to get off the internet, it is distracting me from my problems. if i have removed you, please remove me in turn. i kept the people i talk to regularly . . . this is nothing personal, it's my own fault.