Today I ate sugar snap peas and raspberries while standing around, surveying an old man's garden. His spread was admirable. His gifts of zucchini and home-fermented cider: most welcome. (I didn't actually realize zucchini was fuzzy until today. When you buy it in the grocery store it's usually been waxed.) What I mean to say is I want to become a ( Read more... )

I was invited to play cello for a televised Sufi celebration in Dallas a few years ago. Play and also recite a Hazrat Pir poem in front of about 500 people. I was so nervous when I got off the plane I had to sit down (and almost vomited). It was an incredible honor ( Read more... )

The story of Andy and I is a fun one to tell. In it's retelling, I'm reminded how my life has been riddled with signs. And how, in some ways, I've never been left without internal guidance. It would also serve as the perfect segue between my relationship with David, and what followed. But I'm not going to tell it. Not right now anyway ( Read more... )

Pet Your Confusion

You set bowls of milk out as offering.
It eats, then curls up in your chest.Every moment I spent in Chile was stolen. Stolen from a life I was trying to hold onto at home. A non-life, really, as the only thing that was missing from it was my self. David, my boyfriend at the time, basically forbade me from going. His jealousy ( Read more... )

Some say blood, some rust, but none are as red as me ( Read more... )

My face is changing. I've got crows-feet around my eyes from smiling too damn much and creases in my forehead from frowning too damn much ( Read more... )

Valentine's Day, for me, is not about heart-shaped candy and kisses, but bravery, pain, loss and personal transcendence. It marks the eight-year anniversary of my leaving home ( Read more... )

I'm wearing blue slippers with stars and moons on them. They were given to me in December of 2001 at a company Christmas party. I took off my heels and put them on. I got chided by my boss for doing so - but only because we were at the Ritz ( Read more... )

On my way somewhere else I caught sight of you out on your lawn. I stopped to see how you were, why you hadn't been answering my phone calls. You weren't given enough time to prepare your lie so you blamed it on the phone-lines, on your wife. What you were afraid would upset me wasn't that bad. It was to be expected actually. But for you to ( Read more... )

Imagine a time when you didn't know - when your way was not yet the "right" one. Now remember what it was that filled the gap in-between. Was it the truth ( Read more... )