[No Subject]
Im seconds away from just crying my balls off. I really am, and the fucked up thing is? I have no fucking idea why. I just dont understand. Maybe thats just my fucking problem. That I cant understand. I have ways to cope.. May not be the best ways, and may not be suitable for children under the age of 17, but by God I am not about to lose my mind here. Alone.
I wish I can have a dream that Im in Heaven. So I can talk to God myself. Just so that I can ask him to help me. In every way possible. So that he can see my tears rolling down my cheeks and tell me, Himself, that everything is going to be alright. Then, and only then, may I be at peace. Then I shall wake up, to look outside, and see the sun shining, the green grass, birds flying by, and happy faces of people passing by. Then I can look into a mirror. See my reflection and think that its not so pitiful being me anymore.
They were right about this place.. The long winter can really bring down a person.. Make them sick.. Sad.. Make them want to end it all because it feels so fucking easy to do so..
Im in Gods hands now.. He can help me.. No one else..