WART 32: Potions and Evil Clowns, hosted by Ryuuji and Stephen.
Ryuuji: Welcome, one and all, to the first ever themed edition of WART! Stephen and I are going to your hosts for tonight, and we've decided to make the show revolve around Potions and Evil Clowns -- or more specifically, the repelling and hunting down of Evil Clowns. First, before you do anything, get your shot glasses out and make some Evil Clown
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Just curious, did you ever consider that the bright colors and flavors might, in fact, attract the Evil Clowns? You know, they do like bright colors the best.
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And no, that never occured to me! I know that they like bright colors best, but maybe that's why it keeps them away? Because the colors are all ours, and we're using their own weapons against them. Well, sorta. We don't have any whips. Whips are bad.
Evil Clown Repellent isn't bad. It's good. And it's working so far!
...And who are you? I'm Ryuuji!
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*finds a piece of parchment and a quill, and writes a note to Ryuuji*
*the note says: Remember that conversation we had at Scarpetta's Sorting? This would be the person to whom I referred. Matters have since progressed. To broadcast that fact would be seriously problematic. Dear God, I do not even know to which one I am properly married.*
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So she's an adultress or a mistress or is River the adultress or are you the only one committing adultry if you're not sure to whom you're married but you're sure that you ARE married?
And gives Stephen a quizzical look, eyes wide and curious as to the answer*
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*writes I have no idea. None. Have we any liquor that is not already incorporated into evil clown repellent? I need some.*
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I think that we drank most of it to make ourselves flammable so that if any Evil Clowns tried to possess us, we could set ourselves on fire, kamikaze-style and exorcise them.
But there might be a bottle or two of rum on top of that big black thingie-ma-jig. If that's a thingie-ma-jig. It could be a doohickey. Which do you think it is?*
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*writes Rum seems inadvisable.*
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Try it now? I think it's vodka. Or at least a different type of alcohol.*
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You know, you do have a very good point. Take everything that is theirs and make it your own so they have nothing to intimidate you with anymore. And I agree, whips are really bad - but are you sure the Repellent is good? *sounds doubtful*
Oh, and I'm Sarah, but a different one than you played the song for. You know, it's a shame you and your cohost didn't sing more, radio karaoke would be fun.
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Hi Sarah! It's nice to meet you as well.
And yes, exactly. If you take away their weapons, they can't use them on you. And Repellent is very, very good. See, it's like mosquitos. Mosquitos want to bite you and suck your blood, but what they do is give you diseases like malaria. And it's no use killing them after you've got infected, so what you do is, you spritz yourself with Repellent, and they keeps them away in the first place.
So, like that, drinking Evil Clown Repellent is better than drowning them in it!
And I used to host karaoke parties. I wonder if anyone would still be interested in them? I'm thinking of holding a talent show during International Evening, maybe people would take part then! Do you have anything you could perform?
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You know, I think you have thought this out very well! Now can unprotected people still attract the clowns when around protected people, or does the protection have a radius of any kind?
I think another karaoke party would be wonderful, as I'm new and did not get to participate, plus karaoke brings people together - and you could serve the Repellant at the next party!! Sort of Evil Clown Awareness Night!
As far as a talent show, I could sing, I'm not too bad at it. I could also act out a monologue from pretty much any play as long as I had the lines in advance. I'd even take suggestions, all in the spirit of Evil Clown Awareness.
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That's because Stephen and I are absolute geniuses. Or is that genii? English's my third language, so it gets a little shaky when I'm this intoxicated. And I think that everyone needs to take a shot of Evil Clown Repellent to be protected because see, it goes into your body and into your blood and that's what repels the Evil Clowns, because they don't want to make you bleed if you have the Repellent in your blood since it makes your blood worthless to them. It makes your blood hurt them back, so that they hiss and sizzle and melt away, just like the witch in Dorothy and the Wizard of Oz!
... Except he burnt, not melted, but when you burn, you melt and if you're wearing a mask, it gets melted on to your face and clogs up your breathing and then that kills you before the fire does.
*pauses, decides to replenish himself with another shot* And oh, that's a great idea! Maybe we could make posters, warning people about the dangers ( ... )
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We rock so much! And yeah, they ought to write us a theme song! Maybe even build a statue or erect a monument. Of the two of us, feet on the throat of an Evil Clown. Or burning Evil Clown masks! Because that's more symbolic. And the posters sounds great. Got any artistic talent? Prof Lupin is going Evil Clown hunting, so I'm sure he'd join the campaign too.
And I'm sure the audience will just love you! Drinking Evil Clown Repellent puts everyone in a loving mood towards everyone and everything except Evil Clowns!
*slides a shot glass of cherry Jello over the floor to her Floo* And I don't really now. I think that the more, the better and I can talk to several people at once, so don't worry about putting anyone in danger. We have to protect the whole school!
((Yay! XD I'm having way too much fun with this, so I'm glad other people are too.))
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