Happy Hearts Day from Smaug
From Smaug to Elric, Ancalagon, Dethklok, Shoggies, Ofdensen, Raistlin, and Igor:
Smaug had very little understanding of Valentine's Day, having only heard from Toki and Skwisgaar that it was a 'dildos hearts day', with some manner of possibly coercive celebration involved. From this he'd inferred that it was a day when one gave their family, friends, and associates hearts. And if his adoptive parents were celebrating it, well...
This notion led Smaug on a week-long hunting trip, on which he targeted the largest land prey he could find in this world: wizarding world dragons. He had no compunction about slaughtering them and tearing out their hearts, for they were barely intelligent beasts, not creatures he bore any relation or affinity to.
As he was of a much greater size than his prey and completely immune to their fiery breath, his task was completed with minimal injury to himself.
One heart was delivered to the most recently used mountain lair of Ancalagon's that Smaug could sniff out, on his return trip to Hogwarts. ((And the mun would also like to thank you for Smaug's beautiful new wiki page! <3))
He selected the largest heart from his collection for Elric, and left it in a bloody heap near the corner of his sparkly new lair that the albino was permitted to use. (If Elric didn't return soon, Smaug would begin to contemplate invading Hat Shore ((or attempting to and failing)) to deliver the heart himself.)
Two hearts that looked roughly identical to one another were delivered via horrified house-elves to Skwisgaar and Toki.
To the growing dismay of the house-elves, Smaug chose the especially oozy, bloody hearts to be sent to Nathan, Pickles, and Ofdensen.
The heart that had been a bit scorched with dragonfire was given to Smaug's group of Shoggies, who would presumably eat it anyway. He would make sure a bit was saved for his Shoggy that was currently stranded in Hat Shore, and possibly deliver it himself if he did decide to invade later.
And then, fortunately for the beleaguered house-elves, that left only two more deliveries to be made. One heart was sent to Raistlin, and the other, slightly smaller heart to Igor.
Each house-elf had been specifically instructed to say whom the hearts were from, since Smaug was unfamiliar with the concept of secret valentines, and obviously wanted his hard work to be acknowledged.
Smaug had very little understanding of Valentine's Day, having only heard from Toki and Skwisgaar that it was a 'dildos hearts day', with some manner of possibly coercive celebration involved. From this he'd inferred that it was a day when one gave their family, friends, and associates hearts. And if his adoptive parents were celebrating it, well...
This notion led Smaug on a week-long hunting trip, on which he targeted the largest land prey he could find in this world: wizarding world dragons. He had no compunction about slaughtering them and tearing out their hearts, for they were barely intelligent beasts, not creatures he bore any relation or affinity to.
As he was of a much greater size than his prey and completely immune to their fiery breath, his task was completed with minimal injury to himself.
One heart was delivered to the most recently used mountain lair of Ancalagon's that Smaug could sniff out, on his return trip to Hogwarts. ((And the mun would also like to thank you for Smaug's beautiful new wiki page! <3))
He selected the largest heart from his collection for Elric, and left it in a bloody heap near the corner of his sparkly new lair that the albino was permitted to use. (If Elric didn't return soon, Smaug would begin to contemplate invading Hat Shore ((or attempting to and failing)) to deliver the heart himself.)
Two hearts that looked roughly identical to one another were delivered via horrified house-elves to Skwisgaar and Toki.
To the growing dismay of the house-elves, Smaug chose the especially oozy, bloody hearts to be sent to Nathan, Pickles, and Ofdensen.
The heart that had been a bit scorched with dragonfire was given to Smaug's group of Shoggies, who would presumably eat it anyway. He would make sure a bit was saved for his Shoggy that was currently stranded in Hat Shore, and possibly deliver it himself if he did decide to invade later.
And then, fortunately for the beleaguered house-elves, that left only two more deliveries to be made. One heart was sent to Raistlin, and the other, slightly smaller heart to Igor.
Each house-elf had been specifically instructed to say whom the hearts were from, since Smaug was unfamiliar with the concept of secret valentines, and obviously wanted his hard work to be acknowledged.