[Closed RP: Skwisgaar, Toki, Shoggies]
((Occurs right after this.))
Skwisgaar kept hold of Toki's hand as they made their way back to the room they'd shared prior to leaving Hogwarts, only letting go once they were there. He closed the door and dropped his duffel bag beside the bed -- their bed?
Was their relationship over now? This was all uncharted territory for him. Toki wasn't another band he could leave any time he wanted to, or some jackoff former bandmate trying to ride his coattails like a drowning rat, but someone he still loved -- in spite of everything. And it was the kind of love that, though he might not ever say it in as many words, he would be happy to have and return for the rest of his life. That was a certainty, the same way he knew what sound his guitar would produce when he strummed the strings; unchanging and as permanent as anything could ever be in Skwisgaar's life.
He could not be accused of being the sharpest tack, but even he knew it would be stupid to let such a thing go without a fight.
He noted the Shoggies in their ball pit, but didn't move to check on them. Only a few hours had passed for them, they were probably fine; he wasn't feeling much like a family reunion just then. Sighing, he sat on the edge of the bed and pulled off his boots, then after a moment's consideration stripped off his shirt and belt as well, leaving them on the bed. He climbed beneath the fur cover and stretched out, sitting up with his back against the pillows, his guitar in his lap. He still fully intended to let Toki have the room if they decided not to share any longer, but wanted to be comfortable in the meantime, and maybe even attempt that nap after they'd talked... assuming Toki wouldn't immediately kick him out afterward.
He wondered if starting the conversation by telling Toki he still loved him would make him seem too pathetic and desperate. If Toki's feelings had changed -- then definitely. He'd known Toki for years, had been sleeping with him for nearly two, but if anything that level of familiarity and intimacy only seemed to make things that much more awkward between them now.
Remembering that Toki had willingly taken his hand, he tried to focus on that.
His first urge was to tell Toki to take off his clothes and join him -- not even for sex, though it had been over a month since he'd last had any with anyone other than himself -- just to be able to touch him while they talked. But he realised it might not be appreciated.
"You coulds have come withs me," he said after a while. "I thoughts yous would. Likes we talked about, once Dethklok ams over. Buts then yous stayed... to bes de new lead. Couldn'ts waits for me to leave. Didn'ts wants me to comes back." He couldn't help the hurt that was bleeding into his voice, despite how he was trying to state things as neutrally and unemotionally as possible. He was watching Toki now. "Then yous say yous missed me," he said and reclined a bit more, pulling the fur cover up to his chest. "I don'ts understand. Ams yous only saying dat so I'll lets you stays de lead guitarsist?"
Skwisgaar kept hold of Toki's hand as they made their way back to the room they'd shared prior to leaving Hogwarts, only letting go once they were there. He closed the door and dropped his duffel bag beside the bed -- their bed?
Was their relationship over now? This was all uncharted territory for him. Toki wasn't another band he could leave any time he wanted to, or some jackoff former bandmate trying to ride his coattails like a drowning rat, but someone he still loved -- in spite of everything. And it was the kind of love that, though he might not ever say it in as many words, he would be happy to have and return for the rest of his life. That was a certainty, the same way he knew what sound his guitar would produce when he strummed the strings; unchanging and as permanent as anything could ever be in Skwisgaar's life.
He could not be accused of being the sharpest tack, but even he knew it would be stupid to let such a thing go without a fight.
He noted the Shoggies in their ball pit, but didn't move to check on them. Only a few hours had passed for them, they were probably fine; he wasn't feeling much like a family reunion just then. Sighing, he sat on the edge of the bed and pulled off his boots, then after a moment's consideration stripped off his shirt and belt as well, leaving them on the bed. He climbed beneath the fur cover and stretched out, sitting up with his back against the pillows, his guitar in his lap. He still fully intended to let Toki have the room if they decided not to share any longer, but wanted to be comfortable in the meantime, and maybe even attempt that nap after they'd talked... assuming Toki wouldn't immediately kick him out afterward.
He wondered if starting the conversation by telling Toki he still loved him would make him seem too pathetic and desperate. If Toki's feelings had changed -- then definitely. He'd known Toki for years, had been sleeping with him for nearly two, but if anything that level of familiarity and intimacy only seemed to make things that much more awkward between them now.
Remembering that Toki had willingly taken his hand, he tried to focus on that.
His first urge was to tell Toki to take off his clothes and join him -- not even for sex, though it had been over a month since he'd last had any with anyone other than himself -- just to be able to touch him while they talked. But he realised it might not be appreciated.
"You coulds have come withs me," he said after a while. "I thoughts yous would. Likes we talked about, once Dethklok ams over. Buts then yous stayed... to bes de new lead. Couldn'ts waits for me to leave. Didn'ts wants me to comes back." He couldn't help the hurt that was bleeding into his voice, despite how he was trying to state things as neutrally and unemotionally as possible. He was watching Toki now. "Then yous say yous missed me," he said and reclined a bit more, pulling the fur cover up to his chest. "I don'ts understand. Ams yous only saying dat so I'll lets you stays de lead guitarsist?"