"Goooooooooooooooooooooooood morning VietNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM!" shrieked a man's voice throughout all the radio speakers positioned around Hogwarts. A long pause followed, as though the speaker were somehow waiting for a response from the listeners. The end of that pause was punctuated by a hissed sort of snickering, laughter lodged in the back of the
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"Good afternoon, Mr. Scott!" he greeted the man jovially as he Flooed himself into the studio. "My name is Constable Benton Fraser, RCMP. I was just listening to your radio programme, and I wondered if you might not mind my, ah... my clearing up a few details for your listeners. Purely in the spirit of..." Gay pride? Right-thinking bent men everywhere? Getting basic facts right? "...proper dissemination of information," he settled.
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"I... village people?" He removed his hat and squinted curiously at Michael, absently fingering the brim. Was that a Canadian slur he wasn't familiar with? "I'm not sure I follow, Mr. Scott -- do you mean Inuvik? Because, actually, the truth is, it's quite a large city. I don't think it can be considered a village at all. But, ah... I do thank you kindly for the compliment," he added, again slightly nonplussed. An inspiration? He didn't even realize anyone but Lily (and, obviously, Ray) knew about him.
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Maybe Michael was talking to a ghost -- perhaps that was the mystery 'she?' He peered around the studio, wondering if he might summon his father up to confirm or deny his guess.
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Luckily, he knew the answer to the second question. "Oprah. She's the one who said it takes a village to raise a gay man." And Oprah was always to be trusted!
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The second answer was as much a surprise as the first. Oprah was a name he was familiar with, for a change, but why on earth the woman would say something like that he didn't know. "I see." He blinked, brow creasing. "Well, I suppose she was reflecting off of the African proverb 'it takes a village to raise a child,' and in that particular usage I suppose it's not an invalid point." He was going to puzzle over this, now. He frowned down at the floor, his fingers pulling at his collar before wandering up to rub at his earlobe. "I mean, even my own ( ... )
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But at least Fraser was trying. This made Michael feel a little bit calmer. "Okay," he repeated. "'That's what SHE said' is something you say when someone or you says something that would be kind of...you know...naughty if a girl said it." He paused. "Dammit, it's hard to explain, okay? Let's just try an example."
He cleared his throat. "Wow, that was reaaaaaaaaally HARD." He paused again. "And you say...." He motioned at Fraser.
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"I..." Suddenly, it clicked. Well, partly, anyway. "That's... what she said?" he offered slowly. He still didn't understand why it was funny, but it seemed to be what Michael wanted him to say...
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"I'm still not entirely sure I understand, but thank you kindly for the lesson," he said diplomatically. "I, ah... perhaps I'll ask my partner to elucidate at a later time."
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